DEAR ABBY: I'm a 24-year-old teacher and graduate student. I have started dating a new man, "Winston," who makes me feel incredible. We have crazy chemistry like I've never had before, and our personalities work perfectly together.

Here's the problem. Winston is a recovering heroin addict with horrible credit and two felony charges related to having stolen money from his parents when he was desperate for drugs.

I know what you're thinking -- I'd be an idiot for dating someone like this, right? But Winston and I have had heartfelt talks and he revealed a troubled upbringing that helped me understand where his addiction came from. He's in a rehab program to try to get his life together.

I've dated a lot of guys. All I've ever wanted is someone who will give me "butterflies" for the rest of my life, and Winston may be the guy. He's attentive, affectionate and loving. He treats me like a princess. I understand his past will cause financial strain. Isn't it more important to have a man who treats me right than one with a lot of earning potential? Please give me some advice. -- DREAM COME TRUE IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR DREAM: You have been seeing Winston for HOW long? Has he completed his rehab and been able to maintain his sober lifestyle for a long enough time that the chances are it will continue?

Few things are as exciting as infatuation -- every one of our senses is heightened. You say you feel "butterflies," but what if you wind up with only a moth-eaten carpet? This is not to say that Winston isn't a wonderful person -- many former addicts can be. However, I think it's premature for you to consider a future with him until you are sure about his stability.

DEAR ABBY: My widowed 86-year-old mom was living by herself. My unmarried sister, "Anne," has become ill and has moved in with Mom. Anne wanted a dog. At first Mom was against it because they both have cats, but she finally gave in and Anne got a year-old beagle mix from the dog rescue.

I have been afraid of dogs since I was little. My family knows this. Usually, once I get to know a dog I'm OK, and I have had several of my own. But this animal has abandonment and abuse issues. He's very aggressive and barks, growls and lunges at anyone who comes into the house. It makes me afraid, so I have quit visiting and hardly ever drop by.

Mom and Anne have very little control over the dog. I worry that in an emergency -- whether for Mom or Anne --- the EMTs would not be able to get past the animal. What can I do? -- SCARED IN IOWA

DEAR SCARED: Explain to them that not all emergency medical technicians (EMTs) have been formally trained to handle unruly or vicious animals, and precious time might be lost. If your sister or mother wasn't around to control the dog and the EMTs were unable to lure it to another room, animal control would have to be summoned or a neighbor found who could assist, and the consequences could be serious. Then cross your fingers that nothing bad happens.

DEAR ABBY: Do you have any information or advice on how to talk to my 12-year-old stepdaughter about sex? I have a pretty good idea about where to take the conversation. I don't plan to make it a big deal -- not so serious as to scare her, but not too lighthearted either. You never know what kids are saying about it in school these days. I want her to know the door is always open should she need to talk. (My mother did that with me, which I appreciated.)

If you have any pointers or reading material suited for her age, that would be great. -- STEPMOM IN TEXAS

DEAR STEPMOM: I'm glad you are opening up the subject because "the talk" with your stepdaughter should have started long ago as part of an ongoing discussion. For a variety of reasons, young people today mature much earlier than they did years ago. She should be told that, if they haven't already started, the changes that will take place in her body are normal and nothing to fear.

As for reading material, my booklet, "What Every Teen Should Know" can help you to start that conversation. It has been distributed in doctors' offices and used to promote discussions by educators and religious leaders, as well as parents who find it hard to discuss these topics with their children. You can order one by sending your name and address, plus check or money order for $7 (U.S. funds), to Dear Abby Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price. You should review it before starting the conversation so you will be prepared in advance to answer her questions. The more information you can give her, the better prepared she will be to make intelligent decisions in the future.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 25-year-old, well-educated woman, engaged to a wonderful man. Although we don't plan to wed for another couple of years, I have a question on my mind. Neither of us is traditional or religious. What should I do about my name?

My fiance would be honored if I took his name, but wouldn't be insulted or hurt if I didn't. For a long time I had thought that hyphenating would be an appropriate solution, but the more I consider it, a long double name on everything I will have to sign might become an inconvenience. I don't dislike his last name or have strong feelings against taking it, but I like the name I have now. Part of me likes the idea of always carrying it.

Since children are not going to be part of the equation, there's no risk of confusing them or their teachers. What do other young couples do? I would love an outside perspective. -- NAME GAME IN KANSAS

DEAR NAME GAME: It is no longer unusual for women to retain their maiden names after marriage. Many choose to do it because they have become established/successful in their careers, others because they want to maintain their identity as an individual.

Some women solve the problem by using their husband's name legally and retaining their maiden name professionally. Others use their maiden name as a middle name and their husband's last name. Please don't worry about this; you have time to make your final decision.

DEAR ABBY: I am a partially disabled person in my 70s. Because of arthritis in my spine and hip, I'm able to stand for only a few minutes and walk only 20 to 30 feet. When I know I am going to be someplace that requires more walking or standing, I use my wheelchair.

My question is: How do I reply to strangers who ask me, "Why are you in a wheelchair?" One lady said, "Oh, is it your knees?" I feel the questions are rude, and I shouldn't have to explain my medical status to people I don't know. I try to mumble something about not being able to stand for long periods, like waiting in line. But I'd really like to respond with a funnier, more flippant reply if I could think of one. Any suggestions? -- TRAVELING BY WHEELCHAIR

DEAR TRAVELING: Try one of these "flippant" possibilities: "It's nothing I usually discuss in public, but it's contagious!" Or, "I broke my tailbone dancing at the Bolshoi." Or, "Just lazy, I guess."

However, joking about a medical condition isn't funny. So perhaps you should reconsider and just be honest.

DEAR ABBY: I recently was invited to a surprise 50th-birthday party for my twin sister. Her husband had a family dinner that included all my siblings.

When my brother-in-law invited me, he said my sister didn't want a big party, but he wanted to celebrate our birthdays with this special dinner. I was delighted to attend, but I must admit I was a little hurt when the celebration turned out to be strictly for my sister. My name wasn't on the cake, and only she blew out the candles and opened gifts. (I did receive two cards.)

I know the party was given for her, and I was a gracious guest, but as her twin, I felt awkward and ignored. Am I being overly sensitive, or were they just rude? -- TROUBLED TWIN

DEAR TROUBLED TWIN: Oh, my. I don't think your brother-in-law was being rude. But in light of the fact that you and your sister were womb mates, you were treated with incredible insensitivity.

DEAR ABBY: I'm in a sticky situation. My husband, "Chester," can't stand to eat meals with my dad. It's never bothered me, but Dad sometimes "smacks" or talks with food in his mouth. It drives Chester crazy. We visit them every week and meals are always involved. What do I do? Should my husband just get used to it? We decided to ask you for advice before we do anything else. -- IN A PICKLE IN TEXAS

DEAR IN A PICKLE: Have your mother talk to Dad and "suggest" that their son-in-law is used to more formal table etiquette, so would Dad please make an effort to not chew with his mouth open when the two of you are visiting. I can't promise it will do the trick, but it may make your father more conscious about what he's doing.