DEAR ABBY: I moved away from my hometown 18 years ago. At the time, a friend of mine had found out she was HIV-positive. Thankfully, healthwise she's doing well. To look at her you would never know.
We have reconnected, but I have recently learned that she had several relationships in the past and didn't reveal that she was HIV-positive or use protection. She says she "loves" these men, their families and their children. It makes me sick that she's killing them.
Someone called her doctor and he talked to her about it, but she lied and said that she had told them. These men have no idea! What can be done so she quits spreading this disease? -- SHE'S KILLING THEM IN INDIANA
DEAR S.K.T.: I ran your letter by an old and trusted friend, Dr. Mervyn Silverman, former director of health in San Francisco. He asked me to reassure you that if your friend has been under treatment for HIV, her chances of passing it on are far less than they were years ago. He also mentioned that if these men's wives had contracted HIV from their husbands and become pregnant, that their disease would very likely have been discovered.
You need to talk to your friend and explain that this is both a health issue and one of morality. If she's continuing to have unprotected sex with her partners, there is still some potential risk that she could pass along the virus. So if she truly loves anyone but herself, she will get with the program and be honest about her health status.