DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Blake," recently broke up with me -- again. He told me in the beginning that he was bi-curious, and that he wasn't sure he was completely heterosexual. When he broke up with me the first time, we stayed friends. Everyone seemed confused that I still wanted to hang out with him.

We started communicating long-distance again last summer. Blake broke it off again a few months later, stating that he is still questioning who he is.

Is it wrong that we're still friendly? Should I be angrier at Blake? -- STILL THERE FOR HIM IN ILLINOIS

DEAR STILL THERE FOR HIM: I don't see why you should be angry with Blake at all. He has been honest with you from the start that he may be bisexual or gay. I can tell you from experience that gay men make wonderful friends. However, if you are romantic about him, I must caution you against trying to change him because you won't be able to do it. He is who he is.

DEAR ABBY: I'd like your opinion on something that is creating a rift between me and my sister. My 6-year-old daughter, "Mara," who is very sweet and mature, is used to spending the night away from me because she has been spending weekends with her grandparents since she was little. Now she wants to have overnights with "Uncle Bob," who is not a blood relative but a good friend who is like family.

I have no concerns about this even though Bob is a bachelor who never had children. Mara loves him, he loves her, and I trust him. My sister, who is childless, feels strongly that this is not right. She thinks a 6-year-old should only be with her parents and grandparents. She tells me I should ask a psychologist. I am asking you. -- TRUSTING MOM IN MISSOURI

DEAR TRUSTING MOM: I'd be curious to know what Mara's father thinks of this. But since you asked me, let me point out that your little girl may be sweet and mature for her age, but at 6 years old she is also inexperienced, trusting and vulnerable. Because she loves Uncle Bob, I can understand why she might want to stay overnight at his house. In 99 percent of the cases it would be OK. But in light of what we see in the news, it's your job as a mother to err on the side of caution, and I don't recommend it.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter and her husband have successful careers, and I am happy for that. But now it seems that she's ashamed of us. We gave her the best we could and she graduated from college with no debt, thanks to us. We felt it was our responsibility.

Now that they earn lots of money, it's like we're not worthy of their company. I have talked to other mothers, and it seems they are treated the same way. (I would say it's probably seven out of nine parents.) I know they have busy lives, but I would like some consideration if I am sick or have surgery. Where did I go wrong? -- ANONYMOUS MOM IN ALABAMA

DEAR ANONYMOUS MOM: Not knowing you and your friends or their children, it's hard to say, but if I had to hazard a guess it would be that you gave too much and raised children who grew up with an overinflated sense of entitlement and no sense of gratitude.

DEAR ABBY: My son had an affair that resulted in the birth of a child outside his marriage. The baby is extremely ill. My daughter-in-law has forgiven my son for his infidelity, and along with my two grandchildren, the little family is trying to rebuild and also do right by the baby.

The baby's mother stays in contact with us, although she is bitter and unpleasant to my son because he would not leave his family for her. However, she does keep us abreast of the baby's ongoing medical condition and needs. She confided to me that she got pregnant hoping that my son would finally leave his family.

My question is: How do I handle the relationship we have been forced into with the baby's mother? I need moral guidance, and some kind of etiquette guidance as well. -- MORAL DILEMMA IN GEORGIA

DEAR M.D.: Don't blame the woman for feeling bitter. Her attempt to force your son into leaving his family failed, and she's now responsible for a very sick child. However, that doesn't change the fact that the baby is your grandchild, and she is your grandchild's mother. Treat her with kindness. Don't make things more difficult than they are by being hostile or judgmental. She's paying for this affair and will for many years to come. Remember always that she is manipulative, but treat her with compassion.

DEAR ABBY: I have a good friend I've known for 35 years. I was there for her during some rough times when we were both living paycheck-to-paycheck. Long story short, she's now married to a millionaire, and every time we get together, she insists on picking up the check.

Truthfully, I suppose it makes no sense for me to pay. I get that. Fifty dollars to me is like 50 cents to her. But the last thing I want is for her to feel I'm taking advantage or taking her for granted. Once I did grab the dinner tab, and she really let me have it!

Am I overthinking this? Should I just accept her good fortune and generosity? -- VALUES FRIENDSHIP IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR VALUES FRIENDSHIP: It appears your friend also values friendship and appreciates how precious long-term relationships are. The two of you have a lot of shared history, and that kind of friendship isn't easy to replicate.

I do think you should accept her generosity, but I also think you should share your feelings with her so she can put your mind at ease. If it will make you feel less indebted, consider giving her an occasional gift. It doesn't have to be expensive, just thoughtful.

DEAR ABBY: What are the best words to use when you realize the psychotherapist you recently began therapy with isn't the right one for you? Should the words be said in person, over the phone in his voicemail or in writing? I want to get this over with as soon as possible and start looking for someone who may better suit me and my issues. -- LOOKING FOR THE RIGHT ONE IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR LOOKING: The words are, "This isn't working for me, and I won't be coming back." Be sure to tell the person why. Your message can be conveyed face-to-face, left as a phone message or be put in writing. The choice is yours.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married 40 years, and it's just the two of us. I work full time and make a good living. We have a large house in a great neighborhood.

My problem is my wife. She hasn't worked throughout almost all of our marriage and has to be the laziest person I know. We haven't slept in the same bed for 20 years. She weighs 300 pounds and is always going to diet, but never really does.

She sleeps in her own bedroom with a huge walk-in closet piled up to the top shelf with nice items she refuses to put away. She also has a separate bathroom and living room.

Her section of the house is a pigsty. It stinks to high heaven because she never gets around to cleaning it. The kitchen is worse. She never cooks a meal. Either I do it after cleaning up, or I live off TV dinners.

When it comes to our finances, we're up to our eyeballs in debt. She spends money like it grows on trees. If I ask a simple question, her replies are mean and sarcastic. I would have gotten a divorce a long time ago if I could afford one.

I'm a reasonably good-looking guy. I could have had an affair ages ago, but I wasn't brought up that way. Don't bother saying she should get counseling. According to her, she has no problems.

I am so tired of living the way I do, I could just cry if I thought it would do any good. What do you think? -- BUMMED OUT IN SAN DIEGO

DEAR BUMMED OUT: If your wife is happy living this way, she may be right. She isn't the person with the problem -- you are.

Although she may not be open to counseling, you should have some to help you understand why you have tolerated this one-sided arrangement for 20 years. You say you may not be able to afford a divorce, but if what's driving you to the poorhouse is your free-spending spouse, it would also be in your interest to consult an attorney to find out if it's possible to break that cycle.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have a happy, well-adjusted only child who shares and gets along well with others. But a few family members continually comment that they are "surprised" he has these characteristics since he's an only child. They make negative remarks about only children in general and act as though he suffers because he doesn't have siblings.

When they visit, they seem surprised that entertaining multiple people in our home with their children doesn't upset us and isn't unusual. I point out that I have friends who are only children who are happy, well-adjusted, successful adults, yet these relatives continue to make hurtful comments.

At Christmas my sister remarked that she doesn't feel we are a "real" family because we only have one child. I found it hurtful that this intelligent woman would say such a thing. What is the best way to respond to these remarks? I feel like I need to educate, as well as inform them that they need to stop hurting me. -- HAPPY WITH ONE

DEAR HAPPY WITH ONE: A quick start on your road to recovery would be to recognize that the relatives may make those snarky comments because they are jealous. The next time you receive what you interpret to be a criticism because of the size of your small family, tell these people you heard them the first time they made their tasteless remark, and not to repeat it again.