DEAR ABBY: Six months ago, my best friend's fiance raped me. He is a man I've known for many years, and I didn't see it coming. I became pregnant but had a miscarriage two months later. I recently had to have a hysterectomy from damage incurred from the rape and the miscarriage.

I never went to the police or pressed charges, and very few people are aware of the whole horrific experience. I have been beyond traumatized by what happened.

My best friend knows nothing about it, and I have been unable to face her since that awful night. We text now and then, and she keeps asking why I have suddenly dropped out of her life. I don't know if I can tell her the truth. We were as close as sisters, and I honestly miss her like crazy, but I can't be part of her life if this monster is in it.

Do I tell the truth? Or do I just shut her out of my life? This has taken a physical and emotional toll on me. Please give me some advice. -- MISSING A FRIEND IN CANADA

DEAR MISSING: Gladly. Find the nearest rape and sexual assault treatment center in your province and make an appointment immediately! You need more help than anyone can give you in a letter, and the people there can counsel you not only on what to do, but also what your options are at this point. Your friend should absolutely be informed about what she's getting into if she marries your rapist, but I do not recommend that you tell her until you have strong emotional support beside you.

DEAR ABBY: Our married son and two young children live in Kurdistan, Iraq. They are volunteering for a charity that helps Syrian refugees. While we admire their noble efforts, we struggle with the daily sacrifices this brings to our whole family.

We work full time and could save up to visit them, but because we are not comfortable with their choice to live in this dangerous part of the world, we continue to refuse their invitation. What do you advise? Are we being self-centered? -- SO FAR AWAY

DEAR SO FAR AWAY: No, you are being rational and self-protective. Not only do I not think you are self-centered, I'm suggesting you keep them in your prayers and use Skype or video chatting to stay in contact.

DEAR ABBY: Recently a friend invited me to a sex toy party. The saleswoman hosting the event is a distant acquaintance.

What is the most polite way to ask her if she has informed her family of her profession? Is it OK to attend if she hasn't told her relatives she sells sex products? If I refuse her invitation, would it be polite to enclose an order for some of her products? I prefer to buy from a reputable saleswoman rather than some anonymous website. -- AWKWARD IN ILLINOIS

DEAR AWKWARD: I don't think it would be appropriate to ask your hostess whether she has informed her family about her career, although I suspect she has made them aware of it. And if you prefer to decline the invitation, I'm sure enclosing an order for her products would be fine with her -- and possibly the start of an ongoing business relationship.

DEAR ABBY: My mom turned 60 last month, and I hosted a party at her house for friends and family. As things were winding down, I took a break from cleaning up to look over the birthday cards from well-wishers that were displayed on a living room table. Among them was a big, gorgeous card from "Cassie," a woman around my mother's age, who I always thought was nothing more than an acquaintance.

As I read the message she had written inside, my jaw dropped. While not pornographic, her message made clear that she and Mom have an intimate physical relationship that has been going on for a while.

I have not discussed the card with Mom, but I suspect she knows I saw it. Lately, I have canceled our weekly lunches together. I don't have anything against gays; I believe they are entitled to a love life just like the rest of us. But in this case, I can't help but feel betrayed. Mom was married to Dad for 32 years, bore him three children and seemed happy. Was this all a lie?

My biggest concern is, if this relationship becomes permanent, how do I explain it to my children -- or worse, my brothers, whose views are conservative and some might say bigoted. I can't help but wonder if Mom left the card out so she could open a can of worms in my lap. How should I approach this? Please help! -- DUMBFOUNDED DAUGHTER

DEAR DAUGHTER: Some people are bisexual, which means they can be attracted to people of both genders. Your mother may have had a very happy marriage, and then she met Cassie. If she is no longer with your father, it is not a "betrayal" of anyone.

Call your mother and arrange to get together. Tell her you saw the card. She may not have told you about her relationship with Cassie because she was afraid you would react as you have. IF they become a couple and your children ask questions (keep in mind, they may not ask), tell them the truth. As to making any announcements to your bigoted brothers, leave that up to your mother and resist the urge to be the town crier.

DEAR ABBY: I'm only 18. I know I have a lot to learn in life, but I need help. I'm madly in love with a guy who is "bipolar" about our relationship. One day he loves me and the next he doesn't.

Today he said he needed some time alone because we've been together 24/7. I got all mad and started to go crazy. He's not breaking up with me. I know he needs space, but I can't bring myself to let him have it. I don't want to lose him. Please help me figure out a way to stay with him. -- GOT A GOOD ONE IN MISSOURI

DEAR GOT A GOOD ONE: If you want to keep your boyfriend, let him have his freedom. I know it sounds contradictory, but the harder you try to hang onto him, the more he will want to get away.

And by the way, while he's enjoying his "space," you should do exactly the same thing he is doing. If you isolate yourself, you will only become depressed, insecure and clingy, none of which are attractive traits.

DEAR ABBY: I have a dilemma. Last year my son became a professional in his sport, and he has recently become famous. Since then, everyone is asking for tickets to games because they want in on the action. I treated one relative who lives near me to a game with her son, and now her sister (with whom I've had very little contact) is saying she follows the games and would love to attend.

My son gets tickets, but they are not free and they do cost him something. It's becoming very stressful for him. Friends and family from all over now ask him for tickets. I don't want to impose upon him for other than immediate family.

How do I tactfully tell these people that I won't ask? I don't want it to sound like he doesn't want to do it. I want it to come from a concerned mom who simply doesn't get tickets for everyone, so they need to go online and buy them like normal people do. -- PROFESSIONAL DILEMMA

DEAR P.D.: These people may not realize they are being presumptuous. Tell them frankly, the same way you explained it to me, that the tickets aren't free to the players. These people may not be aware of it, and it should bring them back to reality.

DEAR ABBY: A good friend of mine began having trouble in her marriage of 16 years. She has been coming to me for advice. Her husband has grown distant and refuses physical interaction. He speaks to her as if he is always irritated with her.

The reason she seeks my advice is because I'm going through a divorce and my husband exhibited the same signs. I have tried to give her the best advice I can, but now she's implying that her husband is attracted to me! It makes me very uncomfortable since I haven't done anything wrong. What should I do? -- WALKING ON EGGSHELLS

DEAR WALKING ON EGGSHELLS: Your friend is an emotional wreck right now. Because her husband hasn't given her the reason he is emotionally abusing her, she's desperately looking for a reason. A step in the right direction would be to assure her that you are not, never were, and never will be attracted to her husband. Then suggest that she may need more support than you can give her and she might find it helpful to talk to a professional counselor.

DEAR ABBY: I was an invited guest at a dinner party along with a few other couples. During conversation, one of the guests mean-spiritedly used the N-word twice. I was appalled. Because it was not my home, I said nothing.

Please tell me how I could have handled this to let the bigot know this wasn't acceptable and was just plain wrong. I no longer respect this person, and I'm not sure I want to associate with him or even be in his company again. -- SHOULD HAVE SPOKEN UP

DEAR SHOULD HAVE SPOKEN UP: If you choose to avoid the person, that's your privilege and it's fine with me. There's a saying, "All that's needed for evil to flourish is for good people to say nothing." It would not have been rude to have said, "Please don't use that word around me, because I find it offensive."