DEAR ABBY: I have been having an affair with a married man for eight years. At first, both of us were married, but my husband died two years ago. Since then, my lover and I have grown closer, but he won't leave his wife because of his kids.
I love him dearly, but cannot go on living life this way. He doesn't want me to see other people. Every time I try to end it, he talks me out of it and makes me feel guilty for trying. I need help, please. -- MESSED UP IN MINNESOTA
DEAR MESSED UP: The little voice that's telling you you can't go on living this way is your rational thinking. The one that's talking you out of moving on is coming from a selfish individual who is thinking only of his own interests and not yours.
As it stands, your lover has a harem. If that's fine with you, I can't change your mind. But if it isn't, remove the blinders from your eyes and end this romance because it is going nowhere and probably never will.