life

Free Financial Advice Could Save You a Bundle

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 17th, 2015

DEAR ABBY: Making wise decisions about what to do with your money can be tough. Insurance policies, mortgages and investment plans come with so much terminology and fine print. The phone calls, email messages and mail offers for products and services are endless, and some are downright dishonest. It seems as if there's a scammer -- or an opportunity to make the wrong financial decision -- around every corner.

To help your readers sort out the offers for products and financial services that come their way, USA.gov, the federal government's official website, has created a free Financial Self-Defense Kit. It contains a dozen publications that explain how to make solid investment, shopping and credit decisions. And it's also filled with advice on protecting your consumer rights and recognizing and avoiding scams -- especially those aimed at seniors.

Abby, thank you for sharing this empowering kit with your readers. Armed with the information, they'll be better prepared and feel more confident facing financial choices. -- SARAH CRANE, ACTING DIRECTOR, FEDERAL CITIZEN INFORMATION CENTER

DEAR SARAH: Frankly, I should be thanking you for giving me the opportunity to share this valuable information with my readers. I thought the kit you produced last year was wonderful, but this one is even better.

Readers, I was shocked to read not long ago in USA Today that almost one-third of American workers have less than $1,000 in savings and investments for retirement. The reasons for this vary, but among them are that people haven't estimated how much money they will need once they stop working until they are near retirement, when it's too late.

This year's kit will be valuable for any of you with an eye to the future. It contains information to help you choose a financial adviser you can trust, and determine the difference between a solid investment and a fraudulent offer that could cost you your life savings.

Among the other "goodies" inside are: Money Smarts for Older Adults, Fighting (Investment) Fraud 101, Five Steps for Making Financial Decisions, Know Your Financial Adviser, The Guide to Long-Term Care Insurance, A Guide for Seniors: Protect Yourself Against Investment Fraud, Considering a Reverse Mortgage?, Understand Your Credit Score, and Your Rights When a Debt Collector Calls. (Can you guess the No. 1 consumer complaint received by the government last year? Debt collection!)

You will also find the newest edition of the Consumer Action Handbook, which no household should be without. (Inside is a sample complaint letter, which can be very effective in any number of instances when dealing with corporations, and company contact information.)

All this information is free of charge, but supplies are limited. To order, go to USA.gov/dearabby, call 888-878-3256 weekdays 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. Eastern time, or write: Financial Self Defense, Pueblo, CO 81009. Don't procrastinate, because these kits are going to go quickly. --Love, ABBY

Money
life

New Driver Without Insurance Is a Road Hazard to Avoid

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 16th, 2015 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR ABBY: My 17-year-old stepdaughter, "Audra," got her driver's license a few months ago and has started pressuring us to put her on our car insurance. When we told her we can't afford it, and if she wants to be on the insurance she has to get a job and pay for it, she had a temper tantrum.

About a month ago, my husband wanted her to go to the store for him. We live in a rural area and everything is some distance away. After she left, he asked me if I was mad that he let her take the car. I told him I thought he was asking for trouble sending her out with no car insurance. He said, "But she wants to drive so badly." My husband now wants me to let her take me shopping and bring along our two small kids.

If Audra gets into an accident, we could be sued for everything we have! No one is a great driver when they first start driving, but she is a beginner without insurance. I have considered calling the police and telling them she's driving without insurance. What do I do? -- NO INSURANCE IN NEW YORK

DEAR NO INSURANCE: Stick to your guns. It appears Audra has some growing up to do before she starts driving. If at the age of 17 she's still having tantrums when she doesn't get her way, she's not emotionally mature enough to be behind the wheel of a car. Your concerns about her getting into an accident are common sense. Transporting small children in a car driven by an uninsured, inexperienced driver is not advisable.

TeensHealth & SafetyFamily & Parenting
life

Lack Of Confidence Eats Into Man's Dating Success

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 16th, 2015 | Letter 2 of 2

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 28-year-old gay man who recently graduated with a liberal arts degree. I have always struggled to support myself. I'm often discouraged because of professional and personal mistakes, which leads me to be pessimistic about my future.

I want to date. I know love isn't going to be the save-all, but it would be nice to hang out with someone from time to time. My problem is, in the past men have been critical of my lack of success. They are often unimpressed with me. Successful men won't date me. Yet I feel intellectually incompatible with the blue-collar guys I've been with.

I'd like to be able to have conversations about literature, film and maybe world events, but the men I'm drawn to are out of my league. Must I suck it up and take what I can get? Do you think that maybe if my life was in order, I'd have better luck with men? -- DENVER PO'BOY

DEAR DENVER PO'BOY: I do. It appears that in addition to self-esteem problems, you are drawn to men who are intellectual snobs. Intelligent, successful men -- and women -- are attracted to people who feel good about themselves and have interesting things to say. Because these individuals are often "targets," they are not particularly drawn to people who might regard them as meal tickets.

So by all means get your life in order. When you dwell less on your mistakes (we all make them) and think positive, your chances of finding friends like yourself will be better.

Mental HealthLove & Dating
life

Husband's Cocktail Time Is Too Much and Too Loose

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 15th, 2015 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR ABBY: I have been blessed with success over the years and continue to provide a comfortable lifestyle for my wife and me. I will be celebrating my 74th birthday soon, and 55 years of marriage to my high school sweetheart.

When I come home from a busy day, I enjoy sitting down and having two generous cocktails while I listen to my favorite news station. I espouse my views on the political events of the day. And always, without exception, I verbalize my adoration for my wife and our family, and express how beautiful my wife is and how much I love her.

My wife becomes somewhat annoyed because I get loose with my opinions and comments because of the alcohol. She wants me to quit drinking every night before dinner. I feel there's no harm because I have only two drinks. At my age, I feel entitled, but I don't want to make my wife feel like she is married to an alcoholic. What do you suggest I do? -- MY AMERICAN DREAM INCLUDES COCKTAILS

DEAR AMERICAN DREAM: For openers, try laying off the sauce for a week or so -- if you can manage it -- or cut back to one drink in a smaller glass. When you say you consume two "generous" drinks a day, I can't help but wonder how generous and what you're using to measure. While you may have been able to drink two generous drinks when you were younger with no negative effects, as folks get older (and 74 would qualify as "older"), they don't metabolize alcohol as well.

One of the signs of problem drinking is when it starts to cause problems with others. Another is belligerence, and if that's the way you become as you listen to your news programs, you can't blame your wife for being upset. And as to the endearments you utter while under the influence -- while they may be sweet, take it from me that women much prefer to hear them from men who are sober.

Marriage & DivorceAddiction
life

Bridesmaid's Silence Makes Her A Candidate For Demotion

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 15th, 2015 | Letter 2 of 2

DEAR ABBY: I am getting married to a wonderful man. He suggested that his close friend "Zoe" would like to be a bridesmaid, so I asked her and she accepted.

The problem is, I have sent multiple messages to Zoe regarding the color we have selected for the bridesmaid dresses and also asked if she'd like to come along when I look for my wedding dress. I have received no response at all from her. My fiance has also contacted her, and he hasn't heard back, either.

Is it OK if I decide to use someone else who is willing to participate in the events leading up to the wedding, and not just the ceremony? -- FIRST- AND ONLY-TIME BRIDE

DEAR BRIDE: Have your fiance check with Zoe to see if she's OK and her contact information is correct. Then send Zoe a written message explaining that because she hasn't responded to your previous messages, you and your fiance assume she won't be participating in the pre-wedding activities and would prefer not to be one of your bridesmaids. Say that you both hope she will attend the wedding as a guest and send her an invitation. If she accepts -- fine. However, if you don't hear from her, take her off the list.

Holidays & CelebrationsEtiquette & Ethics

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