DEAR ABBY: I have been blessed with success over the years and continue to provide a comfortable lifestyle for my wife and me. I will be celebrating my 74th birthday soon, and 55 years of marriage to my high school sweetheart.

When I come home from a busy day, I enjoy sitting down and having two generous cocktails while I listen to my favorite news station. I espouse my views on the political events of the day. And always, without exception, I verbalize my adoration for my wife and our family, and express how beautiful my wife is and how much I love her.

My wife becomes somewhat annoyed because I get loose with my opinions and comments because of the alcohol. She wants me to quit drinking every night before dinner. I feel there's no harm because I have only two drinks. At my age, I feel entitled, but I don't want to make my wife feel like she is married to an alcoholic. What do you suggest I do? -- MY AMERICAN DREAM INCLUDES COCKTAILS

DEAR AMERICAN DREAM: For openers, try laying off the sauce for a week or so -- if you can manage it -- or cut back to one drink in a smaller glass. When you say you consume two "generous" drinks a day, I can't help but wonder how generous and what you're using to measure. While you may have been able to drink two generous drinks when you were younger with no negative effects, as folks get older (and 74 would qualify as "older"), they don't metabolize alcohol as well.

One of the signs of problem drinking is when it starts to cause problems with others. Another is belligerence, and if that's the way you become as you listen to your news programs, you can't blame your wife for being upset. And as to the endearments you utter while under the influence -- while they may be sweet, take it from me that women much prefer to hear them from men who are sober.

DEAR ABBY: I am getting married to a wonderful man. He suggested that his close friend "Zoe" would like to be a bridesmaid, so I asked her and she accepted.

The problem is, I have sent multiple messages to Zoe regarding the color we have selected for the bridesmaid dresses and also asked if she'd like to come along when I look for my wedding dress. I have received no response at all from her. My fiance has also contacted her, and he hasn't heard back, either.

Is it OK if I decide to use someone else who is willing to participate in the events leading up to the wedding, and not just the ceremony? -- FIRST- AND ONLY-TIME BRIDE

DEAR BRIDE: Have your fiance check with Zoe to see if she's OK and her contact information is correct. Then send Zoe a written message explaining that because she hasn't responded to your previous messages, you and your fiance assume she won't be participating in the pre-wedding activities and would prefer not to be one of your bridesmaids. Say that you both hope she will attend the wedding as a guest and send her an invitation. If she accepts -- fine. However, if you don't hear from her, take her off the list.

DEAR ABBY: I have been happily married for 30 years. Many years ago I found out, inadvertently, that my wife is adopted. (My wife has no siblings, and her parents died when she was in college.) Concerned that she might not know about it, I contacted senior members of her family to confirm. They all confirmed what I had heard and said my wife knows about it.

I think it's odd she never shared this with me. It wouldn't change things between us, but it bothers me that she has never told me. To the best of my knowledge, she has no idea that I know. I am having major heart surgery in the fall, and this is something I would like to discuss with her before I do. I'm curious to hear your thoughts. -- LEFT OUT

DEAR LEFT OUT: Tell your wife what you learned, that you're surprised she never mentioned it, and ask her why. It's a fair question, and being adopted is nothing to be ashamed of.

DEAR ABBY: I am a college sophomore and have a boyfriend, although we keep our relationship to ourselves. I get asked out a few times a week by other boys who are clearly interested.

My boyfriend doesn't mind that I have male friends, but my problem is the other boys are never direct about their intentions. Usually, they'll say it's to "hang out" or "grab dinner" -- very casual, vague invitations. To accept would make me feel I'm leading them on somehow, but to refuse "because I have a boyfriend" would make it look like I'm jumping to conclusions about them.

Is there a polite way to tell someone that you're seeing someone -- without being accusatory -- but that you would still like to be friends? -- JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS

DEAR JUMPING: Say it this way: "I'd love to, but, you know, I have a boyfriend. Would that be a problem for you?" If the boy says no -- then go. If he hits on you after that, tell him you think he's great, but you want to be friends -- one can never have enough friends -- and you're not looking for another romance. If the boy respects you, he'll accept it and not try again while you and your boyfriend are together.

DEAR ABBY: I feel that the longer you go to the same hairdresser, the more she takes you for granted. The service gets worse. When I have shared this opinion with some of her other clients, they agreed.

The salon does not have a receptionist. Whoever is there just picks up the phone, whether the stylist is working on a customer or not. During my last haircut, which usually lasts about half an hour, she answered the phone six times. I pay for my appointment, and it should be at least relaxing. Have your readers had the same experience? -- MIKE IN NEW YORK

DEAR MIKE: I'm sure some of them have, unless they told the stylist they're using they don't like being treated that way. So speak up. As a paying customer, it is your privilege.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 16 and a single mom of an almost 4-month-old girl. Her father is a drug addict. He manipulated me into having sex, which I had told him I didn't want to do until I was married. Also, I told him from the beginning of our relationship that if we ever got married and started a family, I never wanted drugs around my children.

The day I found out I was pregnant, he was there. However, later that night when I went out to the garage, I caught him snorting. Is it wrong of me to not involve him in her life? I've given him multiple chances to prove himself of being worthy. -- TEEN MOM

DEAR TEEN MOM: You're not wrong. As long as your boyfriend is involved with drugs, they will come first, and you and your child won't be able to count on him -- for anything. This is why it is crucial that you now make your education a priority and earn your high school diploma. You are going to need one -- and possibly further education -- in order to support the both of you. In the meantime, a counselor at your high school can guide you regarding financial aid if you need it.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 24-year-old Muslim woman who has fallen in love with an agnostic 35-year-old man, "William." The next step in our relationship is marriage, and my problem is our future kids.

My family expects me to marry a Muslim man and have Muslim children. William says that the kids may grow up not wanting to be Muslim, as I would like to raise them, and says he would support whatever they want to be.

I want my children to be Muslim, but I really love this man. My family and religion would not approve such a marriage. Do I walk away knowing I may never love a Muslim man the same way I love William, or marry William, risk the possibility of losing my family, and accept whatever else comes along on this difficult road? -- TORN ON THE WEST COAST

DEAR TORN: You appear to be a traditional, family-oriented young woman. I assume you are also involved in the Muslim community. If you marry William, the chances of losing all of that are great, and your likelihood of raising devout Muslim children in a household where both parents don't practice the religion will be less.

While you may not love someone else the way you love William, the chances that you will find someone else to love again are good. Because you had to ask me this question, I'm advising you to let William go. If you plan to go ahead with this, you need to have your eyes wide open about what the price will be -- because it will be high.

DEAR ABBY: My next-door neighbor keeps asking to use my lawn mower. When he uses it, he runs over stumps and garbage in his yard. I feel he's abusing my generosity. I have hinted that he should pick up things in the yard before he mows, but he never listens. How should I handle this? -- DULL BLADES IN WEST VIRGINIA

DEAR DULL BLADES: Stop beating around the bush instead of being direct. When your neighbor asks to borrow the mower again, tell him that in the past when he has returned it to you, the blades were dull and it created problems for you. Then say no.