DEAR ABBY: I am 22. I met my boyfriend, "Jordan," in college. We live together with a roommate.

Throughout our relationship, there have been times when Jordan was inconsiderate and didn't seem to put much effort into it. Sometimes he says he's going to be out "late." Then he ends up staying out all night without letting me know he's not coming home. He has done this quite a few times. His excuse is that I am supposed to call to hound him, and ask where he is and when he's coming home.

He's often not respectful of my time and comes home hours after he says he will. Most of the time he's out with friends I know, but I am losing trust and feel less important.

When we are spending time together, the relationship is great. Jordan is the one person I feel I can live with. We don't get annoyed with each other, have the same sense of humor and common interests and hobbies.

I have tried many times to get the point across that he doesn't make me feel like a priority. He tells me he cares and that I'm "the one." Where do I draw the line because he fails to back up his words with actions? -- LOW-RANKING GIRLFRIEND IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR LOW-RANKING: Draw the line now and remove your blinders. Although you say you don't get annoyed with each other, it seems you are plenty annoyed with Jordan, and you have a right to be. You are being treated like your feelings don't matter.

You are not his mother and you shouldn't have to "hound" him. When a boyfriend stays out all night, it is cause for concern. And that his actions and his words don't match means that he's not being truthful. Prepare yourself for the inevitable because it's coming.

DEAR ABBY: I am annoyed by how sexist the conversation is in regard to weddings. It is always her day, her wedding, all about her. It's like the groom is just a check in the box. Nearly everyone forgets that this is one of the most important events in the groom's life, too, and he has an equal investment in the event.

As for our own wedding, there were no brides involved -- just us two grooms, our minister friend who officiated, plus all our friends and family who celebrated with us. Both of us were involved in the planning and execution of our wedding from beginning to end, and the entire process was so meaningful to us. Now I feel bad for our straight male friends whose involvement in their own weddings gets completely discounted.

Please stay vigilant, Abby. Remind people that it is their day, their wedding, and all about them. -- EQUAL OPPORTUNITY IN RHODE ISLAND

DEAR EQUAL OPPORTUNITY: Your point is well taken. However, in generations past, traditionally the bride's parents paid for the wedding. The groom had little to do with the planning -- and few, if any, of them objected to it or wanted more responsibility. Today, because couples marry later and brides often have incomes of their own, it is far more common for couples to pay for their weddings and plan them together.

DEAR ABBY: I am 32 and need advice on setting personal boundaries in my relationships. Simply put, I have a guy friend who has feelings for me that I don't have for him. We dated briefly. I broke it off, and we have continued as friends for two years.

He knows I'm not interested in an intimate relationship with him. However, he has made it clear through words and behavior that he's in love with me, almost to the point of obsession.

I feel he doesn't respect my personal space. We argue -- especially if he ends up crashing at my house after a night at the pub. I firmly tell him he can only sleep on my couch, but he'll weasel his way into my bed. I feel I'm enabling him in his clingy behavior because I don't want to hurt his feelings.

I want to be able to act assertively with him and others. I want to stop being so passive, especially with men. Please advise me how to work on this. -- PUSHOVER IN VANCOUVER, CANADA

DEAR PUSHOVER: The man you describe appears to be under the impression that he can wear you down if he keeps at it long enough. He isn't interested in being your "friend"; he wants to be your lover.

Because you aren't interested in him that way, quit allowing him to sleep at your place. If he becomes so drunk he can't drive himself home, get him a taxi. Allowing him to sleep over and weasel himself into your bed sends him a mixed message, and that's a mistake.

To create effective boundaries, you must be clear about the messages you send to others. What you appear to need to work on is the ability to say no. Try it. You'll like it.

DEAR ABBY: I'm having a hard time with my dad. He treats me like a little kid and refuses to recognize that I'm an adult who can make my own decisions. It makes it difficult for us to get along, and I have been spending less time with him because of it.

Abby, I am 40. I haven't lived at home for more than 20 years. I'm married with kids and hold a responsible job, but he still sees me as a little girl. An example: He will tell me how to do everyday tasks and remind me not to touch the stove or leave the lights on. In his mind, I never grew up.

It has always been this way with him. I have tried talking to him about it, but all he does is roll his eyes like I'm a teenager.

Dad is in his late 60s and I'd really like to have a relationship with him while he is still alive and healthy. Is there anything I can do to make him understand his perspective is skewed and he needs to change his behavior? -- DADDY'S GIRL

DEAR DADDY's GIRL: At his age, you aren't going to change your father. Your chances of improving your relationship with him will be better if you change the way you react to what he's doing, and realize he says the things he does because it's part of what he thinks is a parent's job. Once you see the humor in it, you'll stop feeling defensive and resenting him. Trust me, it will go a long way toward your having the adult relationship with him that you crave.

DEAR ABBY: I'm having a hard time letting my almost 17-year-old daughter out of my sight. When she walks home from school, I call to make sure she's OK, then call her again minutes later when I estimate she's home. The whole time I worry.

I check on her wherever she is, whomever she is with, and if she doesn't answer a call or text, I panic. I have on a few occasions raced home from work in the middle of the day only to find her napping, and I'm upset to the point that I'll start crying. I realize this isn't healthy for either of us.

Years ago, a little girl in our town, the same age as my daughter, was taken from her home and murdered. I think that plays a part in why I act so irrational. Some of her friends will be driving this summer and I can only imagine there will be trips to the beach (three nightmares in one!) and whatever else. I guess I just want to know how to come to grips. -- FRANTIC MOM OF A TEEN IN FLORIDA

DEAR FRANTIC: While your fears are based on a real incident, your daughter is no longer a little girl. You can't protect her forever, and as a teenager, she needs to establish some independence. You would be doing both of you a favor to talk to a licensed mental health counselor now about this, because your fears are excessive.

DEAR ABBY: I've reached the point in my life that I can no longer hide fine lines and crow's feet. It is bothering me greatly. How do other women handle it, especially when the deep lines form?

I've talked to others my age and it doesn't bother them. I want to talk to elderly people and ask them, but I don't know how to politely broach the subject. I feel guilty for being vain and I hate that, but it's hard for me to accept. Please help. -- HATING AGING IN EAU CLAIRE

DEAR HATING AGING: I don't think anyone, male or female, relishes the idea of being old -- particularly in American society -- unless they consider the alternative, which is death.

Men and women handle signs of aging in different ways. Fortunes have been spent on beauty products, with varying degrees of success, although hope-in-a-jar springs eternal. Board-certified dermatologists and plastic surgeons can minimize the signs of aging with fillers, Botox, lasers and surgery, but they can be expensive. Others accept that beauty comes from within and opt to do nothing to change their appearance.

Talking to people in their 70s, 80s or 90s about the changes they have experienced and the lessons they have learned as they grew older is a good idea. I'm sure you'll receive some enlightening input. But if it doesn't change your feelings, talk to a doctor because a good one can work "miracles."

DEAR ABBY: I live in Miami and my mother-in-law lives in Ohio. My husband just told me she is planning to move here and live with us. I don't mind her moving in with us because she is my mother-in-law, but her boyfriend of 15 years is also coming down. Her boyfriend's brother is moving to West Palm Beach. (It's the reason why they are moving.) Does it make me sound petty to say I don't want the boyfriend to move in with us? -- MOTHER-IN-LAW DILEMMA

DEAR DILEMMA: Petty? I don't think so. You are not running a boardinghouse. The boyfriend is no relation to you, and if you prefer not to have a stranger living under your roof, that should be your choice.