DEAR ABBY: I have been married to my husband a little over a year. He's a wonderful man, but I feel he's a little too attached to his mother. She lives about 20 minutes away, and he wants to go visit her almost every day.

His mother is a very negative person. She isn't mean and we get along well, but her negativity is overwhelming. She finds joy in practically nothing and I always leave feeling agitated.

I have talked with my husband about this before and his response is, "That's how some old people are." I could put up with it a few times a week, but this everyday thing is wearing on me. How can I get my husband to understand how I'm feeling without hurting his mother's feelings? -- NO JOY IN TEXAS

DEAR NO JOY: You and your husband are married, not joined at the hip. If he wants to see his mother every day, that's fine. But you should not be obligated to go with him more than a couple of times a week if you don't want to. If he feels he needs to give her an explanation for your absence, he should tell her you are busy with things you need to do. It's polite, it's logical -- and I'm sure you will find errands or tasks with which to fill the time.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend has been meeting a group of diving friends in Mexico for more than 15 years. We are now a couple and this was my first year meeting everyone. There were two other couples and one female, "Connie," sharing the condo. The other couples had private bathrooms, and we shared the main bathroom with Connie.

I found it odd that Connie would leave the bathroom after showering with only a towel wrapped around her. My boyfriend would stay in the room or go out to the deck and read, yet she didn't hesitate to walk out to the patio and converse with him.

Is this socially acceptable or is it me? What can I say to her next year? I thought about buying her a bathrobe and giving it to her. I have also considered that my boyfriend and I could get a private room and stay in there until we know she's dressed. Really, she needs the private room, and I thought about paying for it, or should something just politely be said? -- NO PROPER WRAP

DEAR N.P.W.: Before doing anything, stop and analyze why you are so bothered by what Connie is doing. Do you think she is coming on to your boyfriend? Remember, these are all diving friends who have gotten together for a very long time before you were in the picture.

If he was interested in her, which I doubt, he wouldn't be with you. I do not think paying for another room for Connie would be appropriate. I do think you should get to know her better and, if you still feel threatened (which you may not), talk to your boyfriend about your feelings.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a teenager and I want to grow up fast. My boyfriend, "Jared," and I are very serious, and we want to have a baby. I know that sounds crazy, but we talk about it all the time and we're ready for it.

As much as I want all this, I'm afraid I won't be able to provide for the baby. I have been distant from Jared because I don't know how to tell him I'm not totally sure. He'll be disappointed after all we've discussed. I need to know what to do and say. I need answers. -- FUTURE YOUNG MOM IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR FUTURE YOUNG MOM: You and Jared may be intent on growing up fast, but believe me, having a child at your age is a guaranteed way to slow you down. Once a baby is here, the baby's needs will supersede yours until he or she is no longer a minor. You are wise to worry about how you will provide for any baby you bring into this world, and Jared should be doing the same thing.

If you make it out of high school -- many pregnant girls don't -- the kind of jobs you'll be prepared for won't pay much. If Jared suddenly discovers he isn't up to the responsibilities of fatherhood -- and believe me, it has happened many times -- you will have greater problems than telling your boyfriend you don't think you're ready to be a mother until you have at least a high school diploma.

DEAR ABBY: My younger brother is in junior high and he has autism. It is not severe. He's able to interact with others, but he's noticeably different from the other kids.

As he gets closer to entering high school, I am sure that if we don't tell him he has autism, someone at school will. I have mentioned this to my mother a couple of times, but she doesn't want to tell him. She's in denial and wants to ignore the situation like it's not even there.

Should I respect my mother's decision or push the subject more? -- GROUNDED IN REALITY

DEAR GROUNDED IN REALITY: Your brother probably already knows he is "different" -- and if he is high-functioning, I think he should know why, and it should be explained to him by one of your parents. However, whether your brother should be told is a decision -- at least for now -- that should be made by them.

Have you discussed your concerns with your father or any other adult relatives? If you haven't, I think you should, because they are valid.

DEAR ABBY: We gave a substantial check to a young woman as a wedding gift. The marriage lasted three months. The money wasn't returned, and we never received a thank-you note. What is the etiquette in a situation like this? -- ROBERT IN CHULA VISTA, CALIF.

DEAR ROBERT: The rule of etiquette is that the bride should have promptly written you, thanking you for your generosity.

DEAR ABBY: My sister-in-law and her live-in boyfriend, "Bud," get together with us for dinner and outings. We enjoy each other's company, but over the last couple of years he has been making disparaging remarks on the subject of politics. We do not belong to the same political party, and his remarks make our blood boil.

Bud knows we belong to the other party, but continues his barrage peppered with profanity. It's impossible to have an intelligent debate with him before the cursing starts spewing out. A difference of opinion is tolerated, but when it's laced with profanity it becomes hard to swallow. My husband feels the same way.

I would tell Bud to head south as far as he can go, were it not for my sister-in-law's feelings. (She's pretty close to my husband.) I thought it better not to say anything during these dressing-downs, but I don't know how much longer I can keep my mouth shut without blasting him. How should I handle this? -- READY TO BLOW IN IDAHO

DEAR READY TO BLOW: You and your husband should pick up the phone and call your sister-in-law. Tell her that as much as you love her and Bud, the political discussions have gotten out of hand, and therefore, there will be no more discussions about politics when you get together. Period. If Bud starts in, your husband should not take the bait. You are both to say, "We'll never agree on this, so let's change the subject."

DEAR ABBY: After 12 years of marriage, my husband and I finally have our first child, a little girl. Yes, I was very happy to have a child on the way, but I was also very depressed. My OB/GYN had to put me on anti-depression medication for it. I felt that only family should know and, while I was pregnant, my husband went along with it.

But now, if someone asks about my pregnancy or jokes about us having a second child, he will tell them he's not sure because during my pregnancy I was depressed. When I ask him please not to tell people about it, he says, "Why not? You have nothing to be ashamed of." How can I get him to understand that for me, it's not about shame but privacy? -- NEW MOM IN LOUISIANA

DEAR NEW MOM: While I agree that depression is nothing to be ashamed of, I also agree with you that some things should be kept private -- and your medical history is one of them. Perhaps your husband would understand if you analogize it with a man using Viagra. While he might use the little blue pill with abandon, many men would prefer folks to assume they didn't need the pharmaceutical assistance.