DEAR ABBY: I'm a teenager and I want to grow up fast. My boyfriend, "Jared," and I are very serious, and we want to have a baby. I know that sounds crazy, but we talk about it all the time and we're ready for it.

As much as I want all this, I'm afraid I won't be able to provide for the baby. I have been distant from Jared because I don't know how to tell him I'm not totally sure. He'll be disappointed after all we've discussed. I need to know what to do and say. I need answers. -- FUTURE YOUNG MOM IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR FUTURE YOUNG MOM: You and Jared may be intent on growing up fast, but believe me, having a child at your age is a guaranteed way to slow you down. Once a baby is here, the baby's needs will supersede yours until he or she is no longer a minor. You are wise to worry about how you will provide for any baby you bring into this world, and Jared should be doing the same thing.

If you make it out of high school -- many pregnant girls don't -- the kind of jobs you'll be prepared for won't pay much. If Jared suddenly discovers he isn't up to the responsibilities of fatherhood -- and believe me, it has happened many times -- you will have greater problems than telling your boyfriend you don't think you're ready to be a mother until you have at least a high school diploma.

DEAR ABBY: My younger brother is in junior high and he has autism. It is not severe. He's able to interact with others, but he's noticeably different from the other kids.

As he gets closer to entering high school, I am sure that if we don't tell him he has autism, someone at school will. I have mentioned this to my mother a couple of times, but she doesn't want to tell him. She's in denial and wants to ignore the situation like it's not even there.

Should I respect my mother's decision or push the subject more? -- GROUNDED IN REALITY

DEAR GROUNDED IN REALITY: Your brother probably already knows he is "different" -- and if he is high-functioning, I think he should know why, and it should be explained to him by one of your parents. However, whether your brother should be told is a decision -- at least for now -- that should be made by them.

Have you discussed your concerns with your father or any other adult relatives? If you haven't, I think you should, because they are valid.

DEAR ABBY: We gave a substantial check to a young woman as a wedding gift. The marriage lasted three months. The money wasn't returned, and we never received a thank-you note. What is the etiquette in a situation like this? -- ROBERT IN CHULA VISTA, CALIF.

DEAR ROBERT: The rule of etiquette is that the bride should have promptly written you, thanking you for your generosity.

DEAR ABBY: My sister-in-law and her live-in boyfriend, "Bud," get together with us for dinner and outings. We enjoy each other's company, but over the last couple of years he has been making disparaging remarks on the subject of politics. We do not belong to the same political party, and his remarks make our blood boil.

Bud knows we belong to the other party, but continues his barrage peppered with profanity. It's impossible to have an intelligent debate with him before the cursing starts spewing out. A difference of opinion is tolerated, but when it's laced with profanity it becomes hard to swallow. My husband feels the same way.

I would tell Bud to head south as far as he can go, were it not for my sister-in-law's feelings. (She's pretty close to my husband.) I thought it better not to say anything during these dressing-downs, but I don't know how much longer I can keep my mouth shut without blasting him. How should I handle this? -- READY TO BLOW IN IDAHO

DEAR READY TO BLOW: You and your husband should pick up the phone and call your sister-in-law. Tell her that as much as you love her and Bud, the political discussions have gotten out of hand, and therefore, there will be no more discussions about politics when you get together. Period. If Bud starts in, your husband should not take the bait. You are both to say, "We'll never agree on this, so let's change the subject."

DEAR ABBY: After 12 years of marriage, my husband and I finally have our first child, a little girl. Yes, I was very happy to have a child on the way, but I was also very depressed. My OB/GYN had to put me on anti-depression medication for it. I felt that only family should know and, while I was pregnant, my husband went along with it.

But now, if someone asks about my pregnancy or jokes about us having a second child, he will tell them he's not sure because during my pregnancy I was depressed. When I ask him please not to tell people about it, he says, "Why not? You have nothing to be ashamed of." How can I get him to understand that for me, it's not about shame but privacy? -- NEW MOM IN LOUISIANA

DEAR NEW MOM: While I agree that depression is nothing to be ashamed of, I also agree with you that some things should be kept private -- and your medical history is one of them. Perhaps your husband would understand if you analogize it with a man using Viagra. While he might use the little blue pill with abandon, many men would prefer folks to assume they didn't need the pharmaceutical assistance.

DEAR ABBY: My in-laws are fabulous. They love me and think the world of our 2-year-old daughter, "Hayley." They do anything to support us.

Recently, they asked to take Hayley overnight and drive a number of places with her. My concern is the driving part. My father-in-law doesn't believe in car seats.

On a few occasions he has asked me to just hop in the car with Hayley without a car seat. I refused. Another time, they had a circa-1980 car seat and asked to take Hayley with them to church. When I went to put her in the seat, the buckles wouldn't work. When I reached over to the other side, the seat fell over. It wasn't even strapped in!

Now for my biggest fear: My mother-in-law is a notorious distracted driver -- she applies makeup, eats food, talks on the phone and texts. I am not comfortable with her taking Hayley in the car with her.

How do I approach this with them? I don't want to harm our relationship, and I'd like them to spend time with their grandchild independently. But I can't put my daughter in a dangerous situation. Any thoughts would be appreciated. -- FEARFUL MOM IN SAN ANTONIO

DEAR FEARFUL MOM: Your fears appear to be well founded. Your "fabulous" in-laws cannot be trusted to transport your little girl.

My first thought was that you and your husband could buy them a car seat and have it installed. But if you can't trust your father-in-law to use it, or your mother-in-law to devote her full attention to her driving when her grandchild is in the car, then the child's safety must come first. As a mother, your job is to be conscientious, even if it makes you less popular. And your husband should back you up 100 percent.

DEAR ABBY: My husband is very affectionate. He loves to cuddle, snuggle and sweet-talk morning, noon and night. However, he doesn't do it with me -- he does it with our cats.

Don't get me wrong -- he's a good husband, and I get a quick hug and kiss goodbye when I leave for work in the mornings and he holds my hand when we walk. But when we go to bed at night, he turns his back to me, reaches behind him, pats me on the arm and says goodnight. There is no cuddling and no sweet-talk with me.

Sometimes I would like a little scratch behind my ears. We married late in life, so maybe the sex is out, but my late husband used to hold me and make me feel special. I'm only 62 and I can't imagine living this way for the rest of my life, but I love this man, so divorce is out. Any advice? -- "MEOW" IN OGDEN, UTAH

DEAR "MEOW": Was your husband like this before you married him? If so, did you accept his proposal thinking you could change him? If not, then it appears you have a serious communication problem.

If you haven't already, you need to tell him what you need in order to feel as loved and cherished as the cats. And if that doesn't work, you both need marriage counseling because I can't imagine you living the rest of your life starved for affection. As you said, you're only 62.