DEAR ABBY: My daughter, "Meg," was sexually abused at the age of 3 by her father 25 years ago. "Emile" and I were divorced, but he had every other weekend visitation. After returning from one visit, she said, "Daddy put his finger in there. It hurt. I cried." Her words forever changed my life.
After we made countless trips to the children's hospital and numerous therapists, a judge allowed supervised visitation. It happened again, but Emile told the judge he was "putting medicine on her." He remarried shortly after and lost interest in Meg and her brother, "Ian," which was a blessing to me, but he'd visit with them occasionally.
Emile spent years belittling me and telling lies to the kids about me, but I stayed busy with two jobs and raised them by myself. Meg has no relationship with her father, but her brother does.
Ian is now expecting a child and knows nothing about the abuse his sister suffered. I have tried raising the subject with Meg, but she won't discuss it. I'm afraid if I tell Ian, it will cause a breach in our relationship and I'm not sure he would believe me. But how do I not tell him? Please advise me. -- WORRIED SICK IN LOUISIANA
DEAR WORRIED SICK: Sit your son and his spouse down and tell them everything. They need to know what Grandpa-to-be is capable of. Because it has been kept a secret for so long, it's sure to be a shock, so don't be surprised if they react with disbelief. If they want proof, show them any court records or other documents you may have. Whatever happens after that, your conscience should be clear, because you will have done your duty as a mother, and they will have been given fair warning.