DEAR ABBY: My husband of 28 years had a bone marrow transplant, and six months ago he learned who his donor was. He now wants to meet up with the person. Turns out, it was a woman.

I'm not usually a jealous person, but it's all he ever talks about every single minute of the day. He wants to meet her two hours from where we live. I am fine with it, but I'm tired of hearing how "great" she is. What can I do to keep the peace in my house? -- WIFE OF A TRANSPLANT

DEAR WIFE: Because of your husband's donor, you are a wife and not a widow. A step in the right direction would be to regard her as the person who saved your husband's life at a point when you could have lost him.

Of course he thinks she is "great." Not everyone is willing to be tested to see if it's possible to be a bone marrow donor. I think she is great, too.

Please calm down. With the passage of time, your husband will not feel the need to speak about her as often.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend booked a cruise with his ex-wife to celebrate their son's eighth birthday. They plan to share the same cabin. He has mentioned at least twice in the past that she wants him back, but now he denies having said it.

I didn't expect him to pay for my ticket (I can afford it), but an invite would have been nice. I have included him in my children's celebrations and have stood by him through difficult times. I have yet to meet the ex, so there's no animosity between us.

When I suggested separate cabins would be appropriate and affordable considering they had booked a suite, and two regular cabins are about half the price, he flat-out told me I'm not invited. He says this isn't about "us" but about his son, whom I get along with.

I love this man and feel this isn't just about trust, although he has been less than truthful lately. I don't want to have to wonder what happened in that cabin when their son was asleep or at the kids' club or when they had a bit too much to drink.

Am I unreasonable in thinking sharing such close quarters with an ex is inappropriate? Should I jump ship from this relationship? He clearly could care less about my feelings. -- WAITING AT THE DOCK

DEAR WAITING: When parents separate, most children hope and pray they will find a way to get back together. If your boyfriend and his ex are sure that isn't going to happen, then it really isn't right to bunk together and get their son's hopes up only to be disappointed when the ship returns to shore.

That this man acts like your feelings are irrelevant and isn't always truthful are huge red flags and do not bode well for your future if you continue with him. I don't know how much time you have invested, but if more of the same is what's in store, you'd be better off to cut your losses and bail.

DEAR ABBY: What do you say when someone has been raped? I have a friend whose granddaughter was brutally raped and left for dead. I have asked a few questions about how she is doing and receive only cursory answers in response.

I know this incident has caused great sadness within this family. What do I say? What do I do? I am at a loss for words, and don't know how to help. Any advice you can offer would be greatly appreciated. -- STYMIED IN ARIZONA

DEAR STYMIED: You have shown your concern by asking. It should be clear to you that your friend is not comfortable discussing the family tragedy in detail. Now drop the subject, because sometimes being at a loss for words is a good thing. When your friend is comfortable talking about it, he/she will do it without prompting.

DEAR ABBY: This past week I read to the students at a local grammar school. I read to kindergarteners, second- and fourth-graders. The children were great, quiet and attentive. They asked insightful questions about the stories.

The teachers, on the other hand, were a disappointment. They dressed the way I dress when I work in the yard -- jeans and T-shirts. What an unprofessional image they presented to these youngsters! They missed a wonderful opportunity to be a positive example of women in the workforce by displaying a total disregard for their appearance or the impact they have on young minds. -- SAD TO SEE IN NEVADA

DEAR SAD: I, too, remember when teachers dressed more formally in the classroom. But that was then and this is now. On the bright side, one would hope that teachers gain the respect and affection of their students less on how they look and more on the love of learning they are able to instill.

DEAR ABBY: I recently took two days off from work to stay home with a cold. When I returned to work, a co-worker started commenting on how I might be contagious. Then during our lunch break, she commented that she didn't want me to sit next to her "because she didn't want to get sick." I told her there were plenty of other seats if she preferred to sit elsewhere, and sarcastically thanked her for making me feel "welcomed."

She continues to bring it up and is now pushing everyone to use hand sanitizer and sanitize their work areas. I'm offended. I think it's rude. A couple of co-workers are now sick with similar symptoms. Is she being rude, or am I oversensitive? And how should I respond? -- OFFENDED IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR OFFENDED: Your co-worker isn't rude; she's a germaphobe and with good reason. If everyone was careful to use hand sanitizer and sanitize their workstations and shared surfaces -- door knobs, light switches, lunchroom equipment -- there would be fewer individuals taking sick days. In a case like this, you should stop being defensive. The best way to respond to the woman is not to respond at all.

DEAR ABBY: We have enjoyed an international dinner club with three other couples for many years. Besides an international theme, we occasionally have other theme dinners. The host couple chooses the country and is responsible for the main course. Another couple brings an associated entree, the third couple brings dessert and the fourth couple provides the wine. We rotate responsibilities so we host only once every four months.

We have become close friends over many memorable meals together, sharing pregnancy announcements, child rearing, graduations, weddings and anniversaries.

I think a "Dear Abby" dinner would be fun to host, and I'd love to plan a meal around your cookbooks. Would you please advise how this avid reader might get copies? -- CHEF MIKE IN CANADA

DEAR CHEF MIKE: I know a Dear Abby dinner party would be enjoyable, because readers have written to tell me they've hosted one, and it made for an interesting and fun evening. The recipes are traditional, easy to read, simple to prepare and delicious.

As I mentioned to a reader from Little Rock who inquired about the booklet, one hostess described decorating her place cards with appliqued hearts and tiny flowers. She created a centerpiece by making a "bouquet" of envelopes addressed to Dear Abby.

Another woman copied questions from past columns, printed them out and made them into a party game, instructing her guests to supply the answers. She said that after a few glasses of wine, some of the answers they came up with were hilarious, but not suitable for printing in a family newspaper.

My cookbooklet set contains more than 100 tasty recipes ranging from soups to salads, appetizers, main courses and desserts. The recipes can also be used for holiday celebrations and other special occasions. To order, send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $14 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. My mother used many of these recipes for dinner parties, and so have I. I particularly recommend the Pecan Pie recipe -- which has been printed in this column before because it has taken prizes at county fairs. It was given to Mama by the chef at the now-demolished Phoenix Hotel in Lexington, Kentucky, and people rave about it.

DEAR ABBY: Folks always tell me that gals like to be wooed, but when I holler "woo" at them, they give me dirty looks. What's up with that? -- ABBY FAN FROM TWITTER

DEAR FAN: Decades ago, "gals" would have been flattered. But since the women's movement, many females would regard your attempt to be friendly as a form of sexual harassment rather than a compliment. Instead of "hollering," try saying hello and you may get better results.