DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of 10 years, "Scott," and I separated last year. I was pregnant and hormonal at the time, and told him we would never get back together. We went a month without contact, then reconnected.

While Scott was in the process of working things out with me, he had a girlfriend. He made it seem like not a big deal, but apparently it was more serious. He told her she was the love of his life and he didn't want to lose her, etc. When our daughter was born five months later, he told me he was done with the other woman. They talked for a month after our baby arrived and then he cut her off.

I recently found some old messages between them, and my heart shattered all over again. Scott says it was all a joke and he never meant any of it. The text messages imply otherwise.

I don't know if I should take another break to clear my head, or wait until my heartache passes. Please help. -- EMOTIONAL IN THE SOUTH

DEAR EMOTIONAL: If you were convinced that Scott has been completely honest, I doubt you would have searched his message history. As to his relationship with the other woman being a "joke," I doubt she was laughing when -- after hearing she was the love of his life and he didn't want to lose her -- he announced it was over.

You appear to like drama. You brought this on when you told Scott the two of you would "never" reconcile. I do think you should take a break until you are less emotional, because the choices you have made so far haven't been entirely rational.

DEAR ABBY: I live on soft drinks. I don't eat real food. I can't remember the last time I ate a hot meal, much less vegetables. I exist solely on massive amounts of soda -- two two-liter bottles a day. If I put food in my stomach, it's usually bread or candy.

I don't binge and purge. Because I'm never hungry, I don't look at it as starving myself. The last time I tried to get off the soda I got sick to my stomach, light-headed and felt out of sorts. I don't know if I'm addicted to the caffeine, the sugar or both. I want to be able to go to a restaurant on a date and eat like a normal person.

I don't know what to do or how to do it. This liquid diet is slowly killing me and I need help. I have expressed my concerns to my doctors and even my therapist. I don't think they believe me or understand the extent of my problem. What would you suggest? -- STUCK IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR STUCK: It appears you have an eating disorder. Because your doctor and your therapist both seem unable to understand that and help you, consider replacing them. You should also consult a licensed nutritionist who is a registered dietitian (R.D.).

Caffeine and sugar withdrawal can both cause the symptoms you describe. Neither withdrawal is "fun," and both can cause headaches and more. You may have to wean yourself rather than quit cold turkey, and a nutritionist can help you to create a personalized eating program that's right for you.

DEAR ABBY: Our amazing daughters are in their late 20s. Both of them are independent, intelligent and loving. The four of us have a special bond. My wife and I have always been supportive in all aspects of our daughters' lives, and that will never change.

They have been dating great guys over the past five years whom we believe they will ultimately marry. The problem? My wife and I were raised with certain values, and our daughters have recently moved in with their boyfriends. We do not approve, but respect their decisions as adults.

One daughter plans to have an open-house party celebrating their new place. She's upset that my wife and I have indicated we won't be attending, because doing so would be difficult and against our beliefs. We have understood her decision, but she does not appear to respect ours. Are we wrong to take this stance? -- AGAINST THE TIDE IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR AGAINST: I think so. Your daughter is an adult. Do you plan to continue "punishing" her and the man you say you approve of until they tie the knot? She and her boyfriend have been a couple for five years now, and their relationship appears to be progressing nicely. It's not unusual for couples today to live together. I see nothing to be gained by skipping their open house -- but I do see something to lose.

DEAR ABBY: My husband's grandmother keeps purchasing season tickets to the theater for me. I have told my mother-in-law (who is in charge of buying the tickets) as politely as possible that summer is a very busy time for me. My kids, husband and I are all involved in activities, and the theater conflicts with these activities.

As well, I don't particularly enjoy the group of people that we go there with. (I haven't shared this with my mother-in-law.) While I like my mother-in-law and husband's grandmother, the others are rude. They exclude me from conversations and hardly acknowledge my existence. I try to make conversation but unsuccessfully. It makes for a dreadfully awkward evening.

How do I get out of going to the theater without hurting anyone's feelings? -- NO THANKS IN CANADA

DEAR NO THANKS: The most effective way to accomplish that would be to stop beating around the bush and tell your husband's mother and grandmother you would prefer not to be included, and the reason why.

DEAR ABBY: My husband's grandmother keeps purchasing season tickets to the theater for me. I have told my mother-in-law (who is in charge of buying the tickets) as politely as possible that summer is a very busy time for me. My kids, husband and I are all involved in activities, and the theater conflicts with these activities.

As well, I don't particularly enjoy the group of people that we go there with. (I haven't shared this with my mother-in-law.) While I like my mother-in-law and husband's grandmother, the others are rude. They exclude me from conversations and hardly acknowledge my existence. I try to make conversation but unsuccessfully. It makes for a dreadfully awkward evening.

How do I get out of going to the theater without hurting anyone's feelings? -- NO THANKS IN CANADA

DEAR NO THANKS: The most effective way to accomplish that would be to stop beating around the bush and tell your husband's mother and grandmother you would prefer not to be included, and the reason why.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I both have professional careers and are independent. We have been in a committed relationship for eight years now.

When we first met, I wasn't looking to be in a relationship. He pulled all the stops to get me to date him. He was attentive, complimentary, dinner dates, movies, etc. He was the first to say "I love you." Prince Charming had nothing on him.

When he knew I had finally fallen for him, the chase was over and everything came to a screeching halt. No more dates, no more I-love-yous. Everything he did to get me to fall in love with him stopped. The man I fell for doesn't exist anymore.

If I ask him if he loves me, he tells me I shouldn't be insecure and needy. I told him hearing the words mean a lot to me, but the words seem to have been deleted from his vocabulary. Any suggestions on how I can get him to understand how I need to hear it from him? -- LONGING FOR 'I LOVE YOU'

DEAR LONGING: You have already told your boyfriend what you need. Now it's time to find out why he is unwilling to give it to you. Then ask yourself if you want to continue like this indefinitely, because he appears to have changed considerably. Is he the kind of husband you would want for a lifetime? If not, you might be better off with someone more responsive, because this appears to be the status quo, and the man has shown himself to be unlikely to change.

DEAR ABBY: With technology the way it is today and everyone taking photos and videos of everyone around them, are there any new rules of etiquette? I'm asking because of a couple situations I've been in lately.

The other day I was kayaking with some people I met online. While I was rowing, struggling to catch up with those who were faster, breathing hard and sweating, a kayaker in front of me whom I had just met started videotaping me. I didn't want to be videotaped, but I didn't want to break my stride and explain.

Yesterday I was in a hot spring at a health spa, wearing a swimsuit. I looked up and a woman I didn't know was about to take a photo of two other women. I was in the background. Fortunately, I was able to leap out of the way, and the only part of me that might have been photographed was my backside.

In both situations I was uncomfortable, but I did nothing to stop it. What is a polite way to ask someone to stop? -- PHOTO-SHY IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR PHOTO-SHY: It's perfectly acceptable to say, "Please don't do that," or "Let me get out of range." If the photographer has any manners, he/she will accommodate you.

DEAR ABBY: My husband never gets me anything for Mother's Day. We have two children. He says, "You're not my mother!" What do you think? -- HURT IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR HURT: Is your husband the father of your children? If the answer is yes, I think the man you married is thoughtless, insensitive or cheap.