life

Boss's Unwelcome Advances Make First Job Uncomfortable

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | May 2nd, 2015 | Letter 1 of 3

DEAR ABBY: I'm 16 and just got my first job working in food services. I have been working here for about two months, and have grown close with my co-worker "Samantha" and my boss. Samantha quit suddenly a few days ago. Today she told me our boss had told her he had strong feelings for her. He's married with kids.

I am now very uncomfortable being there, but I still want to continue working for the experience and to save money for college. I'm not sure what to do. I haven't even told my parents yet. -- SERVER GIRL IN CHICAGO

DEAR SERVER GIRL: Now that you know your employer is capable of inappropriate behavior, keep your distance. If he does make a move on you, "remind" him that you are a minor, and if he doesn't stop it, you will tell your parents and he could get into serious trouble. That should cool his ardor.

Work & SchoolHealth & SafetyTeens
life

Man Is Not A Fan Of Girlfriend's Celebrity Worship

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | May 2nd, 2015 | Letter 2 of 3

DEAR ABBY: I am in a happy relationship with my girlfriend, "Tracy." Recently, she has been talking on and on about how she is so in love with a particular celebrity. I find it irritating when she says things like, "That's my man," or "I had an intense dream about him." How am I supposed to react?

I feel I should have something clever to say in response. Ordinarily I'm not a jealous person, but lately I have begun feeling that way. Am I being ridiculous? Please help. -- REGULAR GUY IN INDIANA

DEAR REGULAR GUY: Ask your girlfriend how she would feel if you kept telling her you're "in love" with Jennifer Lopez or Beyonce and have "intense" dreams about them. Then skip the clever comeback and tell her honestly that what she's doing is annoying and you want her to cut it out. That's honest and direct, and unless your girlfriend has shredded wheat for brains, she'll comply.

Love & Dating
life

Finances, Not Fashion, Sparked Sister-In-Law's Interest In Clothes

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | May 2nd, 2015 | Letter 3 of 3

DEAR ABBY: I had a closet full of clothes I found hard to part with, although they no longer fit me. Usually, I give my gently used clothes to my local donation center, but for the past year I have held onto some expensive designer items that I'm hoping to fit into again.

My sister-in-law helped me move recently and asked me if she could have some of the items. We are close, and I was happy to give them to her because I could see how much she liked them.

I have just learned that she took the items to a consignment store and sold them. If I had known she was going to sell my clothes, I wouldn't have given them to her. I feel deceived, and the money she received should belong to me. Should I address this issue with her or keep pretending that I know nothing about it? -- SWINDLED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR SWINDLED: I'm not sure "swindled" is the word I would choose, but I agree you were taken advantage of because you were led to believe your SIL wanted the clothing for herself. Because "once a gift is given it belongs to the recipient to do with as she (or he) pleases," I don't think you should confront her now. Bide your time, and when she asks you for more things in the future -- and she will -- that would be the appropriate time to refuse and tell her the reason why.

MoneyFamily & Parenting
life

Speedy Diagnosis Is Essential for Treatment of Lyme Disease

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | May 1st, 2015 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR ABBY: May is Lyme Disease Awareness Month. I'm a longtime Canadian reader who has suffered from it for many years. More than 300,000 people are infected by this tick-borne illness every year, yet people know little about it.

If someone doesn't recognize the symptoms and seek treatment immediately, Lyme disease becomes chronic and debilitating. For many years it wasn't well understood, and many sufferers like me have gone from doctor to doctor with their long list of symptoms, becoming increasingly frightened and depressed.

Please suggest your readers learn about Lyme disease by visiting ILADS.org or canlyme.com. It isn't as rare as some people believe. It has been found everywhere on the planet except Antarctica. -- LYN D. IN "ABBYLAND"

DEAR LYN: I'm glad to do that. Several years ago, my husband caught Lyme disease while sitting in a friend's living room in California.

Our friend's dog had been running loose through some marshland that afternoon, and several ticks it picked up bit my husband. When he noticed the bulls-eye inflammation, we called our doctor, who said to come in right away and have it checked. After taking one look, the doctor called in his partner -- a doctor from Connecticut -- to take a look. (Lyme disease is named for a city in Connecticut.) They said the rash was "classic."

My husband was lucky for the quick and accurate diagnosis. Because it was caught early, strong antibiotics headed off any serious problems. But not everyone is so fortunate, and people with chronic Lyme disease have been known to suffer for life. A word to the wise: Be informed.

Health & Safety
life

Mom And Boys Protest Against Overscheduled Activities

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | May 1st, 2015 | Letter 2 of 2

DEAR ABBY: My father always wanted a son, but he and Mom had only one child -- me. Now that I am the mother of two boys, he has taken over their schedule and signs them up for activities they often are not interested in pursuing. This results in my spending my time away from work taking them to activities and sports they don't enjoy.

How can I respectfully tell Dad I don't want him doing this? He often calls my children and me lazy if we say we don't want to participate in the swimming, karate, soccer, baseball, gymnastics and other activities he constantly signs them up for. We just want some downtime once in a while. This has caused many angst-ridden arguments. Please help! -- NOT INTERESTED IN ILLINOIS

DEAR NOT INTERESTED: Everyone enjoys downtime once in a while, but if your children are spending their days sitting around, your father may have a right to be concerned. Daily physical exercise is important for good health.

Because none of the activities your father has chosen "for" your sons appeals to them, talk with them, suggest they choose a sport that does interest them and have them sign themselves up for it. Then inform your dad that you no longer want to hear critical comments about your boys because they are not constructive, and if it doesn't stop, he will be seeing less of all of you.

P.S. Because your dad signed his grandkids up for activities, I'm mystified that he wasn't more involved in providing their transportation.

Health & SafetyFamily & Parenting
life

Life of Contentment Doesn't Seem Normal by Comparison

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | April 30th, 2015 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR ABBY: I'm 45, employed and earning plenty of money. I'm in a great relationship, my kids and grandkids are healthy and happy, and my parents are alive and well. I enjoy the small things in life, fishing, reading, the beach, mini vacations, bowling, etc. I raise funds to feed the homeless.

So what's my problem, you ask? Abby, I'm not really sure what my purpose is in life or if the way my life is, is normal. I feel content -- even happy at times -- but I'm troubled because it seems a lot of people do the exact opposite of what I am doing and they all have a purpose. Some of them are going to school, raising kids, having relationship problems, money issues, etc. They seem to be doing so much, and I feel like I'm doing so little.

What is normal for my age? Should I be doing more? Most times I feel happy, but on a day like today I feel unfulfilled. Do I need to do more? -- WHAT IS NORMAL?

DEAR WHAT: Doing so little? Count your blessings! You hold a job, have a family I presume you regularly interact with, have a great relationship, hobbies you enjoy and contribute to those who have less than you. I would say you are productive and successful.

However, if you think you need to do more, then it's possible you do. Take some time, decide what it is and reallocate your time if you feel you need something more to fulfill you. But please stop measuring yourself by anyone else's yardstick because people who do that are rarely happy.

AbuseLove & Dating
life

Broken Engagement Is Blessing In Disguise

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | April 30th, 2015 | Letter 2 of 2

DEAR ABBY: I fell in love with "Alex" during my last year of college. We had known each other for 18 months. One month before our wedding, he broke up with me. He says I was verbally abusive.

I admit I had anger issues. I had to plan most of the wedding alone because we were four hours apart. When we argued, he would say one thing and then something different later. He would also tell his mom stuff about me and our relationship that I considered private. After the breakup, I found out he had lied to me about his religion.

I had a hard time with the breakup. I tried hard to reconcile or find solutions, but he rejected all of them. Now he's blaming me and throwing things in my face.

I am heartbroken and depressed. I don't know if I should be mad at him for the lies and the heartache he has caused me, or mad at myself for messing up. I have lost my confidence and self-esteem. What do I do? -- STILL IN LOVE

DEAR STILL IN LOVE: Take off the rose-colored glasses for a moment and consider what the reality of a marriage to Alex would have been like. You would have had a mama's boy for a husband, one you couldn't count on to tell the truth and who blamed you for anything that went wrong.

Don't you realize you dodged a bullet? If things had turned out differently, you'd be writing me as an unhappy wife, probably with children to support.

Let it go, get help for your anger issues and don't waste more time brooding. There are times it is better that we don't get the things we wish for, and this may be one of them.

Subscribe

Receive Dear Abby Free Every Day


Next up: More trusted advice from...

  • Toy Around
  • A Clean Getaway
  • Patio Appeal
  • Daughter Wants Special Time with Mom, but Doesn't Want to Offend Favorite Aunt
  • LW Furious at Parents Over Circumstances of Beloved Cat's Death
  • LW Reaches End of Financial and Emotional Rope
  • Footprints
  • Too Old
  • Lukewarm Water
UExpressLifeParentingHomePetsHealthAstrologyOdditiesA-Z
AboutContactSubmissionsTerms of ServicePrivacy Policy
©2023 Andrews McMeel Universal