DEAR ABBY: May is Lyme Disease Awareness Month. I'm a longtime Canadian reader who has suffered from it for many years. More than 300,000 people are infected by this tick-borne illness every year, yet people know little about it.

If someone doesn't recognize the symptoms and seek treatment immediately, Lyme disease becomes chronic and debilitating. For many years it wasn't well understood, and many sufferers like me have gone from doctor to doctor with their long list of symptoms, becoming increasingly frightened and depressed.

Please suggest your readers learn about Lyme disease by visiting ILADS.org or canlyme.com. It isn't as rare as some people believe. It has been found everywhere on the planet except Antarctica. -- LYN D. IN "ABBYLAND"

DEAR LYN: I'm glad to do that. Several years ago, my husband caught Lyme disease while sitting in a friend's living room in California.

Our friend's dog had been running loose through some marshland that afternoon, and several ticks it picked up bit my husband. When he noticed the bulls-eye inflammation, we called our doctor, who said to come in right away and have it checked. After taking one look, the doctor called in his partner -- a doctor from Connecticut -- to take a look. (Lyme disease is named for a city in Connecticut.) They said the rash was "classic."

My husband was lucky for the quick and accurate diagnosis. Because it was caught early, strong antibiotics headed off any serious problems. But not everyone is so fortunate, and people with chronic Lyme disease have been known to suffer for life. A word to the wise: Be informed.

DEAR ABBY: My father always wanted a son, but he and Mom had only one child -- me. Now that I am the mother of two boys, he has taken over their schedule and signs them up for activities they often are not interested in pursuing. This results in my spending my time away from work taking them to activities and sports they don't enjoy.

How can I respectfully tell Dad I don't want him doing this? He often calls my children and me lazy if we say we don't want to participate in the swimming, karate, soccer, baseball, gymnastics and other activities he constantly signs them up for. We just want some downtime once in a while. This has caused many angst-ridden arguments. Please help! -- NOT INTERESTED IN ILLINOIS

DEAR NOT INTERESTED: Everyone enjoys downtime once in a while, but if your children are spending their days sitting around, your father may have a right to be concerned. Daily physical exercise is important for good health.

Because none of the activities your father has chosen "for" your sons appeals to them, talk with them, suggest they choose a sport that does interest them and have them sign themselves up for it. Then inform your dad that you no longer want to hear critical comments about your boys because they are not constructive, and if it doesn't stop, he will be seeing less of all of you.

P.S. Because your dad signed his grandkids up for activities, I'm mystified that he wasn't more involved in providing their transportation.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 45, employed and earning plenty of money. I'm in a great relationship, my kids and grandkids are healthy and happy, and my parents are alive and well. I enjoy the small things in life, fishing, reading, the beach, mini vacations, bowling, etc. I raise funds to feed the homeless.

So what's my problem, you ask? Abby, I'm not really sure what my purpose is in life or if the way my life is, is normal. I feel content -- even happy at times -- but I'm troubled because it seems a lot of people do the exact opposite of what I am doing and they all have a purpose. Some of them are going to school, raising kids, having relationship problems, money issues, etc. They seem to be doing so much, and I feel like I'm doing so little.

What is normal for my age? Should I be doing more? Most times I feel happy, but on a day like today I feel unfulfilled. Do I need to do more? -- WHAT IS NORMAL?

DEAR WHAT: Doing so little? Count your blessings! You hold a job, have a family I presume you regularly interact with, have a great relationship, hobbies you enjoy and contribute to those who have less than you. I would say you are productive and successful.

However, if you think you need to do more, then it's possible you do. Take some time, decide what it is and reallocate your time if you feel you need something more to fulfill you. But please stop measuring yourself by anyone else's yardstick because people who do that are rarely happy.

DEAR ABBY: I fell in love with "Alex" during my last year of college. We had known each other for 18 months. One month before our wedding, he broke up with me. He says I was verbally abusive.

I admit I had anger issues. I had to plan most of the wedding alone because we were four hours apart. When we argued, he would say one thing and then something different later. He would also tell his mom stuff about me and our relationship that I considered private. After the breakup, I found out he had lied to me about his religion.

I had a hard time with the breakup. I tried hard to reconcile or find solutions, but he rejected all of them. Now he's blaming me and throwing things in my face.

I am heartbroken and depressed. I don't know if I should be mad at him for the lies and the heartache he has caused me, or mad at myself for messing up. I have lost my confidence and self-esteem. What do I do? -- STILL IN LOVE

DEAR STILL IN LOVE: Take off the rose-colored glasses for a moment and consider what the reality of a marriage to Alex would have been like. You would have had a mama's boy for a husband, one you couldn't count on to tell the truth and who blamed you for anything that went wrong.

Don't you realize you dodged a bullet? If things had turned out differently, you'd be writing me as an unhappy wife, probably with children to support.

Let it go, get help for your anger issues and don't waste more time brooding. There are times it is better that we don't get the things we wish for, and this may be one of them.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 17-year-old girl and I caught my mom sniffing nail polish remover. She obviously doesn't want me to know because she tries to hide it.

I don't know what to do. I don't know why she would want to do this. It's something people my age would do. I know better than to do that.

Should I talk to her about it? She'll probably make up some excuse like she likes the smell. She sometimes tells me I need to grow up because I can act silly. But honestly, she is the one who needs to grow up.

I want to help her because I know what she's doing is not good for her. But how? -- KNOWS HER SECRET IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR KNOWS: Your mother may have an acetone addiction. Because you can't convince her to take your concerns seriously, tell another adult ASAP what's going on -- a relative, your father if he's in the picture, a teacher or counselor at school.

This kind of inhalant addiction is serious because in high concentrations acetone is a nervous system depressant. This means it can slow a person's heartbeat, respiration and metabolism, causing a person to become dizzy, confused and pass out. It can also damage the vital organs -- the heart, liver, kidneys and the bone marrow -- and cause cardiac arrest and death.

A support group for the children of addicts such as Alateen could give you emotional support. To find one, visit al-anon.org.

DEAR ABBY: My husband had a heart attack a week ago and is still in the ICU. I visit him every day. Yesterday I found out that he had asked his sister to stay with me to "be there for me."

I am furious. My sister-in-law is a nice woman, but we have never been close. My house is a shambles (my husband and I are both disabled, he with peripheral artery disease and me after having been run over by a car) because housework is painful for me. So now, in addition to the stress of taking cabs to see him, I have the additional stress and pain of trying to make the house presentable.

I know my husband meant well, but I don't want to go through this in front of an audience. I feel angry and also guilty for being angry. Can you help me put all this into perspective? -- STRESSED IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR STRESSED: After spending a week in an ICU, your husband may be having concerns about ever emerging. He may have suggested his sister come because he was worried about how you would handle being alone. That you might be upset because your home isn't ready to be featured in House Beautiful probably didn't enter his mind.

However, now that she's coming, be smart. Ask her to help you with the deferred housework so the place will be shipshape when your husband is discharged. If, as you say, you and your sister-in-law aren't close, her stay with you may be shorter than planned.