DEAR ABBY: I'm 45, employed and earning plenty of money. I'm in a great relationship, my kids and grandkids are healthy and happy, and my parents are alive and well. I enjoy the small things in life, fishing, reading, the beach, mini vacations, bowling, etc. I raise funds to feed the homeless.

So what's my problem, you ask? Abby, I'm not really sure what my purpose is in life or if the way my life is, is normal. I feel content -- even happy at times -- but I'm troubled because it seems a lot of people do the exact opposite of what I am doing and they all have a purpose. Some of them are going to school, raising kids, having relationship problems, money issues, etc. They seem to be doing so much, and I feel like I'm doing so little.

What is normal for my age? Should I be doing more? Most times I feel happy, but on a day like today I feel unfulfilled. Do I need to do more? -- WHAT IS NORMAL?

DEAR WHAT: Doing so little? Count your blessings! You hold a job, have a family I presume you regularly interact with, have a great relationship, hobbies you enjoy and contribute to those who have less than you. I would say you are productive and successful.

However, if you think you need to do more, then it's possible you do. Take some time, decide what it is and reallocate your time if you feel you need something more to fulfill you. But please stop measuring yourself by anyone else's yardstick because people who do that are rarely happy.

DEAR ABBY: I fell in love with "Alex" during my last year of college. We had known each other for 18 months. One month before our wedding, he broke up with me. He says I was verbally abusive.

I admit I had anger issues. I had to plan most of the wedding alone because we were four hours apart. When we argued, he would say one thing and then something different later. He would also tell his mom stuff about me and our relationship that I considered private. After the breakup, I found out he had lied to me about his religion.

I had a hard time with the breakup. I tried hard to reconcile or find solutions, but he rejected all of them. Now he's blaming me and throwing things in my face.

I am heartbroken and depressed. I don't know if I should be mad at him for the lies and the heartache he has caused me, or mad at myself for messing up. I have lost my confidence and self-esteem. What do I do? -- STILL IN LOVE

DEAR STILL IN LOVE: Take off the rose-colored glasses for a moment and consider what the reality of a marriage to Alex would have been like. You would have had a mama's boy for a husband, one you couldn't count on to tell the truth and who blamed you for anything that went wrong.

Don't you realize you dodged a bullet? If things had turned out differently, you'd be writing me as an unhappy wife, probably with children to support.

Let it go, get help for your anger issues and don't waste more time brooding. There are times it is better that we don't get the things we wish for, and this may be one of them.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 17-year-old girl and I caught my mom sniffing nail polish remover. She obviously doesn't want me to know because she tries to hide it.

I don't know what to do. I don't know why she would want to do this. It's something people my age would do. I know better than to do that.

Should I talk to her about it? She'll probably make up some excuse like she likes the smell. She sometimes tells me I need to grow up because I can act silly. But honestly, she is the one who needs to grow up.

I want to help her because I know what she's doing is not good for her. But how? -- KNOWS HER SECRET IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR KNOWS: Your mother may have an acetone addiction. Because you can't convince her to take your concerns seriously, tell another adult ASAP what's going on -- a relative, your father if he's in the picture, a teacher or counselor at school.

This kind of inhalant addiction is serious because in high concentrations acetone is a nervous system depressant. This means it can slow a person's heartbeat, respiration and metabolism, causing a person to become dizzy, confused and pass out. It can also damage the vital organs -- the heart, liver, kidneys and the bone marrow -- and cause cardiac arrest and death.

A support group for the children of addicts such as Alateen could give you emotional support. To find one, visit al-anon.org.

DEAR ABBY: My husband had a heart attack a week ago and is still in the ICU. I visit him every day. Yesterday I found out that he had asked his sister to stay with me to "be there for me."

I am furious. My sister-in-law is a nice woman, but we have never been close. My house is a shambles (my husband and I are both disabled, he with peripheral artery disease and me after having been run over by a car) because housework is painful for me. So now, in addition to the stress of taking cabs to see him, I have the additional stress and pain of trying to make the house presentable.

I know my husband meant well, but I don't want to go through this in front of an audience. I feel angry and also guilty for being angry. Can you help me put all this into perspective? -- STRESSED IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR STRESSED: After spending a week in an ICU, your husband may be having concerns about ever emerging. He may have suggested his sister come because he was worried about how you would handle being alone. That you might be upset because your home isn't ready to be featured in House Beautiful probably didn't enter his mind.

However, now that she's coming, be smart. Ask her to help you with the deferred housework so the place will be shipshape when your husband is discharged. If, as you say, you and your sister-in-law aren't close, her stay with you may be shorter than planned.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married twice. My first marriage lasted 20 years, the second one about four years.

During my first marriage, I started cheating seven months after our wedding. My wife knew about some of the affairs and stuck with me anyway. I finally felt so guilty for hurting her emotionally, I called it quits and married the last woman I cheated on her with.

My second marriage was in many ways better. I was able to remain faithful for more than three years before cheating again. I feel terrible that I have hurt another woman I loved, but I have now fallen in love with the woman I'm cheating with.

It's like I'm in a perpetual cycle and don't know how to stop. I want this relationship to be my last one. I want to remain faithful and committed, but I'm scared to death I'll end up cheating on her and let us both down.

I'm not proud of how I treated my exes, but I can't change the past. How do I change this pattern of behavior so I can be a faithful and devoted partner? -- CHEATER IN MICHIGAN

DEAR CHEATER: I respect you for recognizing you have established a pattern and admitting it. The most effective way to break a "perpetual cycle" would be to understand exactly what has driven it. I don't think this is something you can or should do on your own. That's why I recommend you schedule some sessions with a licensed mental health professional before making another trip to the altar.

DEAR ABBY: Is there a rule of etiquette regarding Christmas presents at this point in the year? I have boxes full of gifts for some friends and their children. These friends live no more than 30 minutes away, but have canceled every plan we have made since the middle of November. They know I have the gifts, and I've asked them to stop and get them out of my home, even if they don't have time to come in and visit.

When I try to make plans to bring them their gifts, they say they have errands to run and they'll let me know when they're home. Then they wait until the next day to tell me they forgot, or they were out longer than expected.

We have no idea what's going on in each other's lives past the point of social media, which has shown me they're minutes from my house at least once or twice a week. I understand life is busy, but it feels like they're purposely avoiding me at this point.

Most of the gifts are personalized and can't be returned or repurposed. But for those that aren't, at what point is it OK to give up trying to deliver them and return them to the seller? -- TIRED OF WAITING

DEAR TIRED: Sometimes no message sends a strong one. By now it should be clear to you that those folks are not interested in receiving anything from you, and are probably not eager to continue any sort of personal relationship. If you need my permission or encouragement to return the items -- if, indeed, any of them are still returnable -- I'm giving it to you now.