DEAR ABBY: I'm a 17-year-old girl and I caught my mom sniffing nail polish remover. She obviously doesn't want me to know because she tries to hide it.

I don't know what to do. I don't know why she would want to do this. It's something people my age would do. I know better than to do that.

Should I talk to her about it? She'll probably make up some excuse like she likes the smell. She sometimes tells me I need to grow up because I can act silly. But honestly, she is the one who needs to grow up.

I want to help her because I know what she's doing is not good for her. But how? -- KNOWS HER SECRET IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR KNOWS: Your mother may have an acetone addiction. Because you can't convince her to take your concerns seriously, tell another adult ASAP what's going on -- a relative, your father if he's in the picture, a teacher or counselor at school.

This kind of inhalant addiction is serious because in high concentrations acetone is a nervous system depressant. This means it can slow a person's heartbeat, respiration and metabolism, causing a person to become dizzy, confused and pass out. It can also damage the vital organs -- the heart, liver, kidneys and the bone marrow -- and cause cardiac arrest and death.

A support group for the children of addicts such as Alateen could give you emotional support. To find one, visit al-anon.org.

DEAR ABBY: My husband had a heart attack a week ago and is still in the ICU. I visit him every day. Yesterday I found out that he had asked his sister to stay with me to "be there for me."

I am furious. My sister-in-law is a nice woman, but we have never been close. My house is a shambles (my husband and I are both disabled, he with peripheral artery disease and me after having been run over by a car) because housework is painful for me. So now, in addition to the stress of taking cabs to see him, I have the additional stress and pain of trying to make the house presentable.

I know my husband meant well, but I don't want to go through this in front of an audience. I feel angry and also guilty for being angry. Can you help me put all this into perspective? -- STRESSED IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR STRESSED: After spending a week in an ICU, your husband may be having concerns about ever emerging. He may have suggested his sister come because he was worried about how you would handle being alone. That you might be upset because your home isn't ready to be featured in House Beautiful probably didn't enter his mind.

However, now that she's coming, be smart. Ask her to help you with the deferred housework so the place will be shipshape when your husband is discharged. If, as you say, you and your sister-in-law aren't close, her stay with you may be shorter than planned.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married twice. My first marriage lasted 20 years, the second one about four years.

During my first marriage, I started cheating seven months after our wedding. My wife knew about some of the affairs and stuck with me anyway. I finally felt so guilty for hurting her emotionally, I called it quits and married the last woman I cheated on her with.

My second marriage was in many ways better. I was able to remain faithful for more than three years before cheating again. I feel terrible that I have hurt another woman I loved, but I have now fallen in love with the woman I'm cheating with.

It's like I'm in a perpetual cycle and don't know how to stop. I want this relationship to be my last one. I want to remain faithful and committed, but I'm scared to death I'll end up cheating on her and let us both down.

I'm not proud of how I treated my exes, but I can't change the past. How do I change this pattern of behavior so I can be a faithful and devoted partner? -- CHEATER IN MICHIGAN

DEAR CHEATER: I respect you for recognizing you have established a pattern and admitting it. The most effective way to break a "perpetual cycle" would be to understand exactly what has driven it. I don't think this is something you can or should do on your own. That's why I recommend you schedule some sessions with a licensed mental health professional before making another trip to the altar.

DEAR ABBY: Is there a rule of etiquette regarding Christmas presents at this point in the year? I have boxes full of gifts for some friends and their children. These friends live no more than 30 minutes away, but have canceled every plan we have made since the middle of November. They know I have the gifts, and I've asked them to stop and get them out of my home, even if they don't have time to come in and visit.

When I try to make plans to bring them their gifts, they say they have errands to run and they'll let me know when they're home. Then they wait until the next day to tell me they forgot, or they were out longer than expected.

We have no idea what's going on in each other's lives past the point of social media, which has shown me they're minutes from my house at least once or twice a week. I understand life is busy, but it feels like they're purposely avoiding me at this point.

Most of the gifts are personalized and can't be returned or repurposed. But for those that aren't, at what point is it OK to give up trying to deliver them and return them to the seller? -- TIRED OF WAITING

DEAR TIRED: Sometimes no message sends a strong one. By now it should be clear to you that those folks are not interested in receiving anything from you, and are probably not eager to continue any sort of personal relationship. If you need my permission or encouragement to return the items -- if, indeed, any of them are still returnable -- I'm giving it to you now.

DEAR ABBY: My brother is older than I am and has been in and out of prison. He has stolen my things and pawned them.

I am married, and my husband and I are expecting our first child. We live in a time zone several hours behind the one my family is in. I am now receiving phone calls at 4 o'clock in the morning from collection agencies on the hunt for my brother. He has been writing bad checks and leaving my phone number as a contact number.

I have managed to determine who his probation officer is, and I'm on the fence about whether I should tell her what he is up to. My dad is furious with me for even considering it since "brothers and sisters don't do that to each other."

Honestly, I am fed up with this "blood is thicker than water" mentality when it comes to my brother's wrongdoings. He is now including my family in his schemes, and I won't stand for it any longer. What should I do? -- LITTLE SIS IN THE USA

DEAR LITTLE SIS: There are no excuses for what your brother has done. If his father had given him a dose of tough love while he was a minor, he might have stayed on the straight and narrow instead of landing in the pokey.

Do not allow anyone to make you feel guilty for protecting yourself and your family. Blood isn't thicker than water when abuse is involved, and your brother's behavior qualifies. Contact his probation officer. With luck, when the collection agency calls again, you will be able to give them your brother's "cell" number.

DEAR ABBY: Last year I had bariatric surgery. Since the surgery I have lost a significant amount of weight and still have a lot to go before I reach my goal weight. In the beginning, my husband was supportive and seemed proud of my weight loss. But he is no longer as physically interested in me now as he was when I was considerably larger.

I recently discovered several photos of larger women on our computer. Now I'm wondering if he's looking for my replacement or just has a "thing" for bigger women. Should I say something to him about this apparent desire for larger women? -- SLIMMING DOWN IN WASHINGTON

DEAR SLIMMING DOWN: If you feel your weight loss may have negatively affected your marriage, you should absolutely talk with your husband about it. Frankly, he should have discussed it with you before you made the decision. Bariatric surgery is a major operation. It is life-changing and should not be taken lightly.

As I see it, you have taken a giant step in a positive direction healthwise, and I hope nothing will interfere with it. If you and your husband have trouble discussing this, please do it with the help of your doctor or a licensed marriage counselor.