DEAR ABBY: I have been married twice. My first marriage lasted 20 years, the second one about four years.
During my first marriage, I started cheating seven months after our wedding. My wife knew about some of the affairs and stuck with me anyway. I finally felt so guilty for hurting her emotionally, I called it quits and married the last woman I cheated on her with.
My second marriage was in many ways better. I was able to remain faithful for more than three years before cheating again. I feel terrible that I have hurt another woman I loved, but I have now fallen in love with the woman I'm cheating with.
It's like I'm in a perpetual cycle and don't know how to stop. I want this relationship to be my last one. I want to remain faithful and committed, but I'm scared to death I'll end up cheating on her and let us both down.
I'm not proud of how I treated my exes, but I can't change the past. How do I change this pattern of behavior so I can be a faithful and devoted partner? -- CHEATER IN MICHIGAN
DEAR CHEATER: I respect you for recognizing you have established a pattern and admitting it. The most effective way to break a "perpetual cycle" would be to understand exactly what has driven it. I don't think this is something you can or should do on your own. That's why I recommend you schedule some sessions with a licensed mental health professional before making another trip to the altar.