DEAR ABBY: I have noticed that some people in my age group (60s) are becoming compulsive talkers. These people don't ask questions of those around them. When someone begins to speak, the compulsive talker interrupts, usually in a louder voice and returns to dominating the conversation. Some of them continue to ramble on even when no one is listening anymore.

I tire quickly when I'm around these marathon talkers, but I'm too polite to interrupt them. It wouldn't do any good anyway, because they seem unable to stop. When someone tells them they talk too much, they get offended, but the behavior doesn't change.

Do you have suggestions for how to handle compulsive talkers so I won't have to listen to the person go on and on? It makes me feel fatigued, irritable and trapped. -- OVERLOADED IN WASHINGTON

DEAR OVERLOADED: I do have a suggestion. Avoid people like this. If you can't avoid them, politely excuse yourself as quickly as possible. These people are "sappers," and it is not unusual for them to drain others of energy, leaving them feeling tired, overloaded and trapped as you have described. Within a few minutes of getting away you will start feeling better. Try it and you'll see.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 25 years old, have my bachelor's degree, bought a house and work a great full-time job. I think it's safe to say that I have established myself as an adult. However, an older co-worker seems to associate me with his grandchildren because of my youthful appearance.

He calls me "kiddo" and "buddy." Instead of greeting me the way he does everyone else, he says, "Boo!" I usually smile and nod in response because I'm not sure what response he expects. Recently he said, "You're supposed to say, 'Eek!'"

I understand he's being friendly, but it makes me uncomfortable. I find it childish and not respectful. Should I continue to ignore it, or is there a polite way to ask him to stop? -- BIG GIRL NOW

DEAR BIG GIRL: Don't ignore it. When it happens again, take him aside and tell him privately that being treated differently from the other employees makes you uncomfortable. Explain that it's disrespectful and you want it stopped. If he doesn't comply, tell your supervisor or boss that you have spoken to him about this and it persists.

DEAR ABBY: My best friend and I both had boyfriends around the same time. I broke up with mine three months before she did. Now my ex likes her, and her ex likes me.

I told her I didn't care if she went out with my ex because we live in a small town. They started dating, and I started talking to her ex. She got pretty mad at first, and then said if I like him I should date him.

The thing is, I have liked him for a long time and they have been broken up for three months now. Everybody says I should date him. I don't know what to do. -- CONFUSED BEST FRIEND

DEAR CONFUSED: Because your friend now says it's all right if you date her ex-boyfriend, what you should do is let him know you're interested.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 16-year-old girl, just starting to dip my toes into the dating scene. It's not that I haven't wanted a boyfriend in the past, but I live in a rural area where options are few.

I am becoming close with a guy who lives near me, and I care a lot about him. Therein lies the problem. We're getting to the point where we are finding out everything about each other. I love learning things about him, and I want to share myself entirely with him.

Lately we have been talking about the past. To make a long story short, my childhood was traumatic. From the age of 6 until age 11, I was molested by a family member. Although I am a virgin, when I'm with my friend, it's obvious that I have done certain things before.

I don't want to "unload my baggage" too early and scare him away, but if we are going to commit to each other, I feel it's important for him to know. When is a good point in the relationship to tell him, or in future relationships as well? Any advice you could give would help a lot! -- DIPPING MY TOES IN THE DATING SCENE

DEAR DIPPING: The answer depends upon how mature this young man is, because the information you're considering imparting to him is sensitive. How would you feel if this first relationship ended badly and he broadcast your history to the entire community? This has been known to happen -- as we all know -- with intimate photos.

Personally, I think it will be a while -- a few years -- before you will be ready for a truly committed relationship. I'm not saying you shouldn't have fun and romance in your life, but until you are absolutely sure that you are in a committed relationship, my advice is not to confide this.

If you haven't already received counseling for the trauma you experienced as a child, please consider it. Licensed counselors are ethically bound not to reveal what is discussed during sessions.

DEAR ABBY: I am in my mid-20s and have a close relationship with my mother. She always struggled to make ends meet, but has recently come into greater financial security.

For some time I have been embarrassed about her stingy habits when it comes to splitting the check in group situations. She'll often divide costs unfairly and rely on the generosity of her fellow diners to cover her share. I don't want to embarrass her at the table, but I'm uncomfortable apologizing for her after the fact.

Now that I'm older, I feel responsible in these situations, but I know money is a sensitive topic for her. I don't want to be critical or make her self-conscious. How can I talk Mom into correcting her behavior so we can salvage relationships that are important to both of us? -- KELLY IN NEW YORK

DEAR KELLY: You shouldn't embarrass your mother in front of others. But you should have a private talk with her and express your feelings.

The frugal habits of a lifetime can be hard to break, even if there is a windfall later in life. But if you feel relationships are being destroyed because of what she is doing, then you should tell her and give her some examples. That's the only hope you have of convincing her to change.

DEAR ABBY: I am 23 years old, working full-time as a teacher and I'm about to move out of my parents' house. I have decided to have breast augmentation surgery, and I know the best time to do it would be this summer so I'll have time to recover before school starts.

The problem is my parents are adamantly against my having this surgery. I've heard it all: "I wish you loved your body the way it is." "That's so superficial," and "You'll regret it!"

I would wait until I move out, but my new place (which is being built) won't be finished until the end of the school year. I have postponed this surgery for several years, and now I have the money and I'm ready. How can I please my parents and also please myself? -- TIRED OF WAITING

DEAR TIRED OF WAITING: Have another talk with your folks and explain that while they may wish you loved your body the way it is, you don't. Tell them that you don't feel wanting the surgery is superficial and that you feel it will give you confidence about your appearance that you don't have now.

The decision about whether to have plastic surgery is a personal one. No one should make it "for" you; the choice should be yours and yours alone. If you decide later that you regret it, you can have the implants removed. Some women have done that -- but most women don't.

DEAR ABBY: I am planning a wedding this summer. My fiance and I are paying for it ourselves, so we are trying to keep it within a budget. I'm so excited I want to shout it from the rooftops because I thought this day would never happen.

My problem is, when I have shared the news of our engagement, some people have told me, "I can't wait to get my invitation." We have already made up our guest list and they aren't on it, so how can I tactfully reply without offending? My fiance and I have even discussed whether it would be worth the extra money each guest will cost in order to keep the peace and not have anyone carry a grudge against us. -- STRUGGLING TO BE POLITE IN VIRGINIA

DEAR STRUGGLING: When someone who is not on your guest list says he or she can't wait to receive an invitation, that's your cue to explain that due to budget constraints, your wedding will be small -- pretty much immediate family only. No one can argue with that.

DEAR ABBY: Yesterday I spent the afternoon with a friend who was in town for her husband's business conference. Her 20-year-old son called her because he had broken the screen on his cellphone.

Over the next two hours as we visited, she took phone calls from him, researched places to get his phone fixed, then proceeded to fill out insurance forms on her phone for the repair while I sat there. I finally stood up and said I was leaving because she seemed to be "busy." She immediately became offended and rudely said, "Well! Sorry I p-d you off!"

Abby, it was a broken cellphone, not a broken arm. Am I wrong for feeling the way I do? We have been friends for more than 30 years. -- INSULTED IN RENO

DEAR INSULTED: You're not wrong. Your friend must have thought her son's predicament was an emergency, which is why she felt compelled to deal with it immediately.