DEAR ABBY: I am 23 years old, working full-time as a teacher and I'm about to move out of my parents' house. I have decided to have breast augmentation surgery, and I know the best time to do it would be this summer so I'll have time to recover before school starts.

The problem is my parents are adamantly against my having this surgery. I've heard it all: "I wish you loved your body the way it is." "That's so superficial," and "You'll regret it!"

I would wait until I move out, but my new place (which is being built) won't be finished until the end of the school year. I have postponed this surgery for several years, and now I have the money and I'm ready. How can I please my parents and also please myself? -- TIRED OF WAITING

DEAR TIRED OF WAITING: Have another talk with your folks and explain that while they may wish you loved your body the way it is, you don't. Tell them that you don't feel wanting the surgery is superficial and that you feel it will give you confidence about your appearance that you don't have now.

The decision about whether to have plastic surgery is a personal one. No one should make it "for" you; the choice should be yours and yours alone. If you decide later that you regret it, you can have the implants removed. Some women have done that -- but most women don't.

DEAR ABBY: I am planning a wedding this summer. My fiance and I are paying for it ourselves, so we are trying to keep it within a budget. I'm so excited I want to shout it from the rooftops because I thought this day would never happen.

My problem is, when I have shared the news of our engagement, some people have told me, "I can't wait to get my invitation." We have already made up our guest list and they aren't on it, so how can I tactfully reply without offending? My fiance and I have even discussed whether it would be worth the extra money each guest will cost in order to keep the peace and not have anyone carry a grudge against us. -- STRUGGLING TO BE POLITE IN VIRGINIA

DEAR STRUGGLING: When someone who is not on your guest list says he or she can't wait to receive an invitation, that's your cue to explain that due to budget constraints, your wedding will be small -- pretty much immediate family only. No one can argue with that.

DEAR ABBY: Yesterday I spent the afternoon with a friend who was in town for her husband's business conference. Her 20-year-old son called her because he had broken the screen on his cellphone.

Over the next two hours as we visited, she took phone calls from him, researched places to get his phone fixed, then proceeded to fill out insurance forms on her phone for the repair while I sat there. I finally stood up and said I was leaving because she seemed to be "busy." She immediately became offended and rudely said, "Well! Sorry I p-d you off!"

Abby, it was a broken cellphone, not a broken arm. Am I wrong for feeling the way I do? We have been friends for more than 30 years. -- INSULTED IN RENO

DEAR INSULTED: You're not wrong. Your friend must have thought her son's predicament was an emergency, which is why she felt compelled to deal with it immediately.

DEAR ABBY: My son, "Rick," and daughter-in-law, "Amy," seem to really dislike me. I try to be kind and not pry, but they live with me and it can make for a full house. They have had job difficulties and work injuries that brought them back to my home. Her parents don't care for my son, so living there was not an option.

Amy does not help at all with the housework. Rick does most of it. They also have a wonderful 21-month-old boy. A second baby is on the way. They have lived with me for four years now.

Abby, Amy shows no respect for my home or for me. I mostly keep quiet so as to not push away my only son. I want to be part of my grandson's life. Please advise me on handling this matter. -- UNDERVALUED OUT WEST

DEAR UNDERVALUED: By allowing your son and daughter-in-law to live with you for such an extended period of time, you have fostered their dependence on you. That may be why your daughter-in-law is resentful rather than grateful for your generosity in giving them a roof over their heads.

That they would conceive a second child under these circumstances -- without jobs and no place of their own -- tells me they are immature and irresponsible. Give them a date to be out -- say one month -- and stick to it. If they want to know why, tell them the truth. You should not have to live in a house with a daughter-in-law who treats you like the enemy because it is not healthy for any of you.

If you are afraid the only way to have a relationship with your grandchildren is to tolerate being used, I think you are mistaken. As long as you can provide material assistance to these two, they'll keep you around.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for almost 31 years. We have had a good marriage, but for the last couple of years, my husband has told me that I snore when we go to sleep at night.

He is a very light sleeper, and understandably, it wakes him and then he wakes me to make me stop. This goes on all night long. Needless to say, neither of us is happy in the morning. We have now started sleeping in separate rooms.

The issue I am having now is, my husband will be retiring in a few months and he wants us to do a lot of traveling, mainly cruising. I'm not sure how this will work with our new sleeping arrangement. -- SLEEPY IN ALABAMA

DEAR SLEEPY: Have you discussed your snoring with your physician? Snoring can be a symptom of a medical problem that's fixable. When your husband first told you about it, you should have mentioned it to your doctor. Ear plugs might help your husband, but if there is a medical solution for your snoring, it would make your problem moot.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 17-year-old girl. Last weekend I lost my virginity in the back seat of a stranger's car. I feel guilty about it and I haven't told anyone. I'm not sure if he has.

I need some advice on whether I should be making a big deal out of it, or just ignore it and move on. -- ANXIOUS IN OHIO

DEAR ANXIOUS: Please don't ignore it. You treated your first time like it was something casual, and that is sad. It is a "big deal," not only because of what it indicates about your level of self-esteem, but also because you don't know whether you have been exposed to an STD. Did the boy use a condom?

Mature girls know to protect themselves when engaging in sexual activity. It is important that you be checked by a gynecologist for STDs and learn about effective birth control. If you don't have a doctor you can confide in, Planned Parenthood can help you.

DEAR ABBY: I find myself in an interesting situation that I never thought could happen. I'm a 43-year-old gay male who had an extremely difficult time coming out when I was 19. My parents weren't initially supportive, but things did get better down the line.

I have had zero luck at any long-term gay relationships, but as I get older, my sex drive has diminished, and I think I'd be happy with a female companion -- if sex wasn't a factor. What should I do? -- INTERESTING CONDITION IN TEXAS

DEAR CONDITION: Gay men marrying straight women is not an unheard-of phenomenon, and neither are marriages in which sex is not a part of the picture. It could work out well if you find someone with common interests and a high level of compatibility -- as long as the lady clearly understands that you are gay and doesn't harbor the fantasy that she can "change" you.

DEAR ABBY: My friends often come to me for advice. It could be anything -- relationship, family, self-harm or bullying. It's usually something I don't know how to deal with and don't have experience with. I try to say words of encouragement like, "It'll be OK. Ignore it. Think on the bright side. Don't be so hard on yourself."

I know these are things they have heard before and will ignore, but I don't know what else to say or do. These people are more outgoing than I am, so I guess it makes them targets. Abby, what can I do? -- D. IN KANSAS

DEAR D.: It's all right to be encouraging, but when someone asks for advice you know you're not qualified to give, you should be upfront, admit it, and suggest the person talk to an adult. This is particularly important when the problem concerns things like self-harm or bullying, which may need an intervention.