DEAR ABBY: My best friend is going through a divorce and has moved back in with her parents, who are driving her crazy. She doesn't have enough money to live on her own, so I offered to have her move in with me.

The more I think about it, the more I regret having said it. I enjoy living by myself. Also, she wants us to move to an area of the city that I don't care to live in. In addition, she has a male friend who is also going through a divorce and I dislike him. They spend a lot of time together, and I don't want to be around him.

I'm having second thoughts, but she's desperate to get out of her parents' home. I feel like a terrible friend. Should I suck it up and be there for her? If not, how do I break it to her that I like being her friend, but don't want to be her roommate when she's counting on me to get her out of a difficult situation? -- HAVING MISGIVINGS IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR HAVING MISGIVINGS: It is not your responsibility to help your friend escape from her parents. That responsibility should be hers. Because you like living where you do, tell her that "on second thought," you don't think moving someplace else would be a good idea for you.

The last thing you need is a roommate who will be entertaining someone you dislike, because you will have no privacy, a lot of anxiety and a lease you won't be able to break that guarantees you have to put up with it for a year. For your own sake, speak up and don't allow her to guilt you into doing something you know you'll regret.

DEAR ABBY: My fiance and I are in a long-distance military relationship. We have discussed eloping to Las Vegas so I can move with him. My mother isn't enthusiastic about it. She would like to be there for my wedding, but my fiance comes from a large family. Eloping would be our way of not excluding anyone.

I feel guilty for wanting this to be just the two of us. Should I plan a small wedding for my mother's sake, or have a reception when we get back from Las Vegas? -- AMBIVALENT IN TEXAS

DEAR AMBIVALENT: Why not do both? Explain to your parents -- and your fiance's -- that you would like to be married quickly and are thinking of doing it in Las Vegas. Offer them the opportunity to meet you there. Then have a reception for the extended family later, after you both return.

DEAR ABBY: I bring a hostess gift when I'm invited to someone's home for a dinner or a party. If it's a birthday party or shower, I bring a gift for the honoree. Should I bring one to a "purchase party," where a company rep sells products, kitchen gadgets or clothing? The hostess provides her home and food, and she usually receives thank-you gifts in the form of products from the company rep, based on how much the guests purchase.

Is it OK to show up empty-handed, knowing that I'll be opening my wallet to purchase something at the end of the party? -- UNSURE GUEST

DEAR UNSURE: Absolutely. When invited to an event the purpose of which is to get you to buy something, your presence is present enough!

DEAR ABBY: I have just found out I'm 10 weeks pregnant. Both sets of parents are overjoyed -- it's their first grandchild -- and I'm happy because this was the plan all along. My husband wants kids, and this is our first baby.

My husband isn't the kind to wear his heart on his sleeve. I have tried to involve him in appointments and classes, but he seems uninterested. He has expressed no emotions, even when he saw our first sonogram. It makes me feel sad and lonely. When I ask him if he is happy about the pregnancy, he says yes, but it's hard to tell.

What can I do? His reassurance does not feel genuine. This is supposed to be a milestone, the next chapter of our lives. -- PREG-O IN ARIZONA

DEAR PREG-O: While your parents and in-laws are overjoyed, and you are excited at the prospect of the baby, it is possible that your husband may be overwhelmed at the reality of becoming a father and the responsibility it entails. Not all men are good at expressing their emotions, particularly emotions that they think might be "unmanly."

Instead of depending upon him to reassure you, try reassuring him about what a wonderful father he is going to be. If you do, you may find that as your pregnancy progresses, his level of excitement will increase.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a junior in high school and plan on going to college. When I brought up the college subject with my mom and told her the one I want to go to is out of state, she got upset and said she would never see me. She keeps suggesting colleges that are in-state, but none of them are ones I want to go to. Shouldn't it be my choice about where I want to go? As you can see, I need help. What should I do? -- ASHLEY IN NEW YORK

DEAR ASHLEY: Continue discussing this with your mother to see if there might be more to her concerns than separation anxiety. If the reasons include worry about finances, talk to a counselor at your high school about scholarships that can help to pay for the college of your dreams.

DEAR ABBY: My husband curses nonstop. He wakes in the morning with an "f-ing this" or an "f-ing that." He does it as he goes into the kitchen to get his coffee. I can't stand it.

I have asked him repeatedly to stop. He was never like this when we were younger. Over the 20 years of our marriage, he has become worse and worse. Now he's a nonstop "f-ing machine."

My neighbors have complained to me about it. They have children, and when he goes outside, it continues. How do I get him to tame his tongue? -- MARRIED TO MR. EFF-ING

DEAR MRS. EFF-ING: Is your husband unwell? Could his problem be related to stress or a form of dementia? If the answer is no, then let me point out that men who are happy in their jobs and their lives do not act this way. Men who are considerate and care about their wives' and neighbors' sensibilities usually try to accommodate them if asked nicely. Your problem may not be your husband's tongue as much as it is his attitude -- and until he realizes that only he can change it, there is nothing you or anyone else can do to fix him.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have a friend, "Jonah," whom we love dearly, but he has no filter. He's college-educated, has a white-collar job and is over 50. The problem is, anytime we invite him for dinner or take food items to his house, he makes horrible remarks about my wife's cooking, particularly when it's a holiday party based on my wife's Slavic heritage.

My wife is a really good cook. No one else makes fun of these foods, many of which are common in the U.S., but Jonah makes negative comments every time. I have told him that it's rude, and so has my wife.

We would hate not inviting him to future parties with our usual crowd, but it gets me upset when he does this. My wife has actually prepared an alternative meal for him so he won't have to eat the "heritage-style" food. He even makes snide comments when I bring foods popular in other parts of the U.S.

Abby, do we continue inviting him or not? It is straining our friendship. -- IN A FOOD FIGHT IN NEW HAMPSHIRE

DEAR IN A FOOD FIGHT: Because Jonah has indicated that he doesn't like the food at your parties, stop inviting him. And because he doesn't appreciate the effort when you bring regional food to his home, stop doing that, too. If he asks why he wasn't included, feel free to give him an "unfiltered" answer. If you visit him, bring a generic house gift, such as nuts, a box of candy, a bottle of wine. If he doesn't accept it graciously, stop doing that, too.

With a "friend" like Jonah, it would be better to socialize at a restaurant that serves food he does like, or at an activity that doesn't revolve around food. I am amazed that you have tolerated his behavior this long.

DEAR ABBY: My wife has gained a little weight and has become self-conscious about how she looks. I have told her she's still beautiful. We haven't been intimate in three months and I think it's because she's afraid I won't like how different she looks without clothes.

I don't know how to tell her that my love for her isn't based on her physical beauty. It's based on who she is as a person. That's what is beautiful to me. Do you have any feedback for me? -- LOVING HER IN LOUISIANA

DEAR LOVING HER: Before jumping to conclusions about why you and your wife haven't been intimate, I think you should ask her directly. It may have nothing to do with her weight -- and it could be something she should discuss with her gynecologist.

Of course, it never hurts to tell a woman that she's beautiful because of who she is in your eyes and that she always will be. It's a song we women never tire of hearing -- and the chorus is always welcome music.

DEAR ABBY: My husband helps with the kids and with the housework. But he never remembers holidays and special occasions. We have been married 15 years.

I have talked to him about how hurtful this is, but it never helps. I want him to think about me and put some effort into getting me something. My friends say, "How can you complain? He helps you do housework!" What do you think? -- WIFE OF AN IMPERFECT HUSBAND

DEAR WIFE: If the problem is that your husband doesn't know what to buy for you, offer some suggestions. If he simply can't remember the date -- and some spouses don't -- start "reminding" him a week in advance. If he still doesn't "pop," then appreciate the fact that you have a husband who tries every day to show you he loves you by making your life easier. Many women are not so lucky.