DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have a friend, "Jonah," whom we love dearly, but he has no filter. He's college-educated, has a white-collar job and is over 50. The problem is, anytime we invite him for dinner or take food items to his house, he makes horrible remarks about my wife's cooking, particularly when it's a holiday party based on my wife's Slavic heritage.

My wife is a really good cook. No one else makes fun of these foods, many of which are common in the U.S., but Jonah makes negative comments every time. I have told him that it's rude, and so has my wife.

We would hate not inviting him to future parties with our usual crowd, but it gets me upset when he does this. My wife has actually prepared an alternative meal for him so he won't have to eat the "heritage-style" food. He even makes snide comments when I bring foods popular in other parts of the U.S.

Abby, do we continue inviting him or not? It is straining our friendship. -- IN A FOOD FIGHT IN NEW HAMPSHIRE

DEAR IN A FOOD FIGHT: Because Jonah has indicated that he doesn't like the food at your parties, stop inviting him. And because he doesn't appreciate the effort when you bring regional food to his home, stop doing that, too. If he asks why he wasn't included, feel free to give him an "unfiltered" answer. If you visit him, bring a generic house gift, such as nuts, a box of candy, a bottle of wine. If he doesn't accept it graciously, stop doing that, too.

With a "friend" like Jonah, it would be better to socialize at a restaurant that serves food he does like, or at an activity that doesn't revolve around food. I am amazed that you have tolerated his behavior this long.

DEAR ABBY: My wife has gained a little weight and has become self-conscious about how she looks. I have told her she's still beautiful. We haven't been intimate in three months and I think it's because she's afraid I won't like how different she looks without clothes.

I don't know how to tell her that my love for her isn't based on her physical beauty. It's based on who she is as a person. That's what is beautiful to me. Do you have any feedback for me? -- LOVING HER IN LOUISIANA

DEAR LOVING HER: Before jumping to conclusions about why you and your wife haven't been intimate, I think you should ask her directly. It may have nothing to do with her weight -- and it could be something she should discuss with her gynecologist.

Of course, it never hurts to tell a woman that she's beautiful because of who she is in your eyes and that she always will be. It's a song we women never tire of hearing -- and the chorus is always welcome music.

DEAR ABBY: My husband helps with the kids and with the housework. But he never remembers holidays and special occasions. We have been married 15 years.

I have talked to him about how hurtful this is, but it never helps. I want him to think about me and put some effort into getting me something. My friends say, "How can you complain? He helps you do housework!" What do you think? -- WIFE OF AN IMPERFECT HUSBAND

DEAR WIFE: If the problem is that your husband doesn't know what to buy for you, offer some suggestions. If he simply can't remember the date -- and some spouses don't -- start "reminding" him a week in advance. If he still doesn't "pop," then appreciate the fact that you have a husband who tries every day to show you he loves you by making your life easier. Many women are not so lucky.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are having a disagreement about one of our daughters (we have three). Our 8-year-old is very hairy. It is noticeable, and she doesn't like wearing shorts, skirts or dresses because of it. Her classmates tease her about it.

I want to teach her how to shave her legs or show her how to use hair remover. Her father is angry that I want to "do this" to his little girl.

I was a hairy child as well, and I was teased about my hairy legs and my unibrow, which my parents wouldn't let me shave or pluck. I remember how painful it was, how upset it made me and how different I felt from my classmates because of it. I told myself as a child that when I grew up, I'd never let my daughter go through the same torment. I still feel that way.

Should we wait a few more years, or should I buy the products I need and teach her what she'll be doing for the rest of her life? -- HAIRY SITUATION IN ARIZONA

DEAR H.S.: Your husband may mean well, but he may not realize what being the object of ridicule can do to a little girl's self-esteem. You're that child's mother, and you know what to do -- so do it. Sometimes girls have to stick together, and this is one of them.

DEAR ABBY: After 26 years of marriage, I recently left my husband. We live only a few blocks away from each other, so we run into each other often at the store, the gas station, everywhere.

My problem is more about running into some of the women he cheated on me with. One of them always ends up at the same shopping center or restaurant I happen to be at. She thinks I don't know who she is.

At first I didn't want to say anything to her, but now it has really gotten to me. What can I tell her the next time she meets up with me? I want to keep myself from yelling at her. Please help me. -- CAN'T FIND THE WORDS IN HOUSTON

DEAR CAN'T: You don't know whether the woman your ex cheated with is stable or some kind of wing nut. Sometimes it's safer not to be able to "find the words" rather than pick a fight. My advice is to avoid her as much as possible.

DEAR ABBY: I recently took a long international flight. The man sitting next to me coughed during the eight-hour flight without once covering his mouth.

What is a polite way to tell someone to cover his/her mouth when coughing? Two days into my trip, I developed a fever and a bad cough, so it seems he passed his illness on to me. -- FEVERISH FLIER

DEAR FLIER: Your seat partner showed an extreme lack of consideration not only for you, but also for other passengers seated in his immediate vicinity -- and it's very possible he infected others besides you. It is not impolite to ask people who cough and sneeze to please cover their mouth so you won't catch what they have, and that's what you should have done right away, or ask to change your seat if an unoccupied one was available.

DEAR ABBY: I'm writing to warn as many other young women as I can about the dangers of unprotected sex. I thought I had met the man of my dreams. I knew from the beginning he had a girlfriend in his hometown, but he assured me he was breaking it off, so I didn't think twice about starting a relationship.

Well, she moved here and found out about us. He swore to me that there was no one else besides her and me. We have now discovered a third girl -- his roommate -- with whom he was involved.

Abby, he used no protection with any of us. He swore to us all that he always used it and was regularly tested for STDs. Another lie.

Now his former girlfriend thinks she may have picked up an STD from him, and we all have to be tested to ensure we don't have one.

I now know you can't trust anything you're being told unless there's proof. Go with the guy to get tested and demand to be there for the results. If you suspect (or know) he's seeing someone else, always use protection and insist he be tested regularly.

All three of us could have saved our hearts, our bodies and a lot of turmoil if we hadn't been so trusting. This has left a lasting impression, and now we wonder whether we will be able to trust another man again. -- AWAITING THE RESULTS

DEAR AWAITING: Your "boyfriend" was dishonest and irresponsible. You can't be blamed for feeling bitter. Now might be a good time to re-evaluate whether premarital sex is worth the headache and the heartache.

That said, I can't help but wonder how you intended to avoid infection if you and the man of your dreams were having unprotected sex.

Please take this sad experience as a wake-up call, and schedule an appointment with your doctor to discuss all of the consequences that may result from unprotected sex in the 21st century. There are many -- and an inability to trust is among the least of them. If a man doesn't protect his partner, then it's up to her to protect herself -- both from pregnancy and from sexually transmitted diseases, which are rampant.

DEAR ABBY: I recently bought a new cellphone and was assigned a number by the company that sold it to me. I have been receiving calls and messages for the person who had the number before it was given to me. While the number of the person calling or texting comes up, I do not know the numbers of all my friends and associates, so I have been accepting the calls or texts.

At first, I would let the caller or texter know that the person he/she was trying to reach no longer had this number. However, it takes up my expensive minutes to make those replies. Am I under any obligation to contact these folks, or can I just ignore their contacts? -- POLITE IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR POLITE: No rule of etiquette "compels" you to respond to these callers and texters, so consider yourself off the hook.