DEAR ABBY: I'm the mother of an 18-year-old daughter. Her dad and I are divorced and she lives with him. We were married 20 years and I know he's a good parent, except for one thing. My daughter has told me her father and his partner sometimes engage in very loud lovemaking when she's in her room, and it embarrasses her. She's shy to begin with, so she hasn't said anything to him.
I feel angry and frustrated because I don't know if I should say something to him about it. I have suggested she put on some loud music or use headphones if she can't bring this up with him. I think she wants me to intercede, but I don't feel it's my business to do so. Can these adults be that clueless? Please help. -- CAROL ON THE EAST COAST
DEAR CAROL: Yes, adults can be that "clueless." Her father and his partner may not realize how much noise they make. Headphones and turning on loud music are good suggestions. But remember that clear communication is important in relationships both personal and professional.
At 18, your daughter is old enough to start speaking up for herself. Encourage her to talk about this problem privately with her father. But if she can't, then you should handle this for her.