DEAR ABBY: We have a daughter with severe developmental disabilities. Thankfully, she receives 40-plus hours of in-home therapy a week, which is covered by insurance.

Her first therapist arrives at 7:30 a.m. and leaves at 11:30 a.m. Some days, she will pick up something to eat on the way. Most days, I suspect she hasn't eaten breakfast.

About once a week she'll call out for me, asking for a snack -- usually a breakfast sandwich -- which I make for her. Last week, she asked for some chocolate-covered nuts I had offered her once. I told her we had eaten them. I finally put out a bowl of old hard candy to stop her from asking. She has been eating it for a while now and joking that I'm making her gain weight.

Must I continue providing her snacks or say something about her bringing her own? I am grateful for the work she does for our daughter and hope I'm not sounding petty. -- UNSURE IN KANSAS

DEAR UNSURE: You should not be responsible for feeding your daughter's therapist. Have a talk with the therapist and suggest that if she's "out of fuel" at the end of your daughter's session that she bring some individually wrapped cheese sticks or fruit with her. It would be a lot healthier than what you're giving her and probably better for her.

DEAR ABBY: My 18-year-old son and his fiancee have been kicked out of a few apartments and have asked to live with me. Wanting to help him, I agreed.

When they moved in, I gave them four rules to follow: No drugs in the house, no sex, no coming upstairs after 10 p.m., and the dishes must be done every night or they will pay $400 a month rent.

Well, a week ago I caught them doing drugs, so I called the cops. They were arrested that night. They are now asking to come back. I refuse to allow it because I have an 11-year-old at home with me and another 18-year-old who I want to keep away from this kind of influence.

My son keeps texting me and trying to guilt me into changing my mind because he got his fiancee pregnant. Where I live it gets very cold, but I need to show my other children it's not OK to do drugs.

Am I doing the right thing by not letting them come back, or am I a heartless mother like he says? -- MOM OF TOUGH LOVE

DEAR MOM: Regardless of what your son says, you are not heartless. You took him in with certain conditions. He and his girlfriend abused your trust, and you handled the situation wisely.

If the girl is really pregnant, she should not be using drugs. If she's hooked on something, she needs to get into a rehabilitation program ASAP. If she has parents, perhaps they will take her in. But you have done your part, and if you allow your son and his girlfriend to stay with you, they will continue to break your rules and you'll wind up responsible for them and the baby -- or two or three. I advise against it.

TO MY JEWISH READERS: Sundown marks the first night of Passover. Happy Passover, everyone!

DEAR ABBY: I am a 91-year-old reader with a story to tell. In 1958, I married a man every woman would have loved to have. He was one of a kind. I had two boys from a previous marriage, and this wonderful man adopted them.

In 1963, before homosexuality was understood or openly accepted, I discovered that my oldest son was gay. I didn't take it well because of the way I was raised. In fact, I came unglued. My husband took me in his arms and said, "Honey, he is no different today than he was yesterday."

The rest is a long story, but this wonderful man -- a stepfather -- gave acceptance to his son and taught it to me. His words helped me to value my own son as the person he is. If his words can help some other parent, I am passing them on. -- EVER GRATEFUL MOTHER, SANTA ROSA, CALIF.

DEAR GRATEFUL MOTHER: You married a wise and compassionate man, and I want to thank you for sharing an important message for other parents of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning children.

DEAR ABBY: I'm an alcoholic. My husband blames it for everything that goes wrong in our lives. Not invited to a coveted party? They must have heard what an ass I made of myself four years ago.

I love my husband and don't want to leave him. However, he is blind to the similarities to his overeating and smoking. I'm at my wit's end. He refuses to see, while pointing out to our friends that I'm not supposed to drink, that I could be as nasty as he is and say things like, "You're not supposed to smoke," or, "You're overweight and shouldn't eat that."

I'm sick of being humiliated and tired of feeling like I owe him something because he "overlooks" me being an alcoholic. How can I get him to see that these things are all addictions and hard to kick, and he should quit looking down his nose at me? -- HUMILIATED IN TEXAS

DEAR HUMILIATED: Your letter proves the truth of the saying that alcoholism is a "family disease." The more your husband draws attention to your alcohol problem, the less he is forced to confront his own addictions to food and tobacco, and it also serves as a distraction. It's comfortable for him, allows him to feel superior and benefits him because it makes him an object of sympathy. This is neither helpful nor healthy for either of you.

I have said many times that you cannot change another person. However, a licensed mental health professional may be able to help you understand why you tolerate your husband's behavior -- and might even be able to give you insight into why you drink the way you do.

DEAR READERS: In honor of April Fools' Day, I'll share a couple of offbeat letters I've received from readers who have attempted to pull my proverbial leg. Enjoy!

DEAR ABBY: I'm writing to brag about my boyfriend. He's a semi-professional alligator wrestler and super brave. It's a tough job and it takes him away from home a lot. It's also a very dangerous job. He often comes home with bite marks all over his neck and shoulders, and scratches on his back.

Want to know something weird about alligators? Their natural odor smells a lot like perfume. When my beau gets back from a tournament, he often reeks of it. The first time I smelled it on him, I was worried. But after he explained it to me, it made perfect sense. (Just another one of life's coincidences, I guess.)

We're so happy together. We have four beautiful children, and he promises we'll get married soon -- right after the next tournament. I know you get lots of letters about bad relationships, so I thought I'd let you hear about a good one. -- GATOR GIRL IN FLORIDA

DEAR GATOR GIRL: That's a good one, all right. You may have thought you smelled perfume, but I smell a rat. Be glad your boyfriend doesn't wrestle cougars because I hear they wear indelible lipstick.

DEAR ABBY: A teacher at our high school took some time off to get a breast augmentation. Before she left, she told the class she was having her tonsils out. When she returned to the classroom with a larger chest, one of the students cracked, "Nice tonsils!" Of course, the class roared. What do you think about this? -- GEORGE IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR GEORGE: I think that unless her students pay more attention to what she's teaching and less to her chest, they may be earning double D's.

And now ... back to work:

DEAR ABBY: When does an extramarital affair actually start? Is it when the two parties involved do the mattress mambo, their first kiss, or is it sooner? -- CLUELESS WIFE IN CANADA

DEAR CLUELESS: A love affair involves more than having sex. An extramarital affair begins as soon as a man or woman starts sneaking around and lying to his or her mate.

DEAR ABBY: Please settle an argument my ex-husband and I still have. Over the course of our marriage, we had problems. One night we had a nasty spat, after which he moved out and never returned. He claims I should have asked him to move back in. My response has always been that he chose to leave, so I shouldn't have had to beg him to come back. Your opinion, please? -- WONDERING IN CRYSTAL LAKE, ILL.

DEAR WONDERING: In my opinion, you and your ex-husband should stop arguing because after your divorce became final, the question became moot.