DEAR ABBY: I am a 14-year-old girl, and my friend "Leah" is out of control. She has been going down the wrong path since sixth grade. She is what people call "emo."

She has attempted to end her life more than once. She has sex with lots of boys older than her and has issues with drugs and cutting. She was abused until she was 5 and then adopted. She doesn't seem to have any morals.

She says she wants to become a serial killer and a prostitute when she grows up. She also wants to have a baby in the near future. Leah has borderline personality disorder and probably some others. I have tried talking to her about what she's doing to herself, but she sees nothing wrong with her destructive behavior.

I want Leah to get help before she winds up raped, in prison, or on death row, or becomes a teen mother on the streets. I don't want her to become another number, another statistic. What should I do? Who do I call -- the police, social services, a hotline? -- SCARED FOR LEAH

DEAR SCARED: Your friend appears to be a very troubled and angry girl. If she thinks that by becoming a prostitute or a killer she will be able to assert control in her life where she has none, she's sadly mistaken.

You say she has borderline personality disorder. If that's true, it must have been diagnosed by a licensed psychotherapist. Frankly, I don't think this is anything you can -- or should -- handle on your own.

If your mother doesn't know what's going on, please tell her so she can alert Leah's mother and Leah can return to her therapist. However, if that's not possible, tell a counselor at school what you have told me so Leah can receive more treatment before she hurts herself or someone else.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been together for three years and have planned our first vacation together. We decided to split the expenses 50/50.

Last week, he announced that he has invited his sister and her boyfriend to go along and stay with us in the apartment we rented. Not only was I shocked that he would invite them without checking with me first, I became upset when he said he wasn't asking them to pitch in any money. Normally I'm not stingy when it comes to sharing, but I'm angry and I wonder if I'm overreacting.

His mother died last year, and his sister is the only family he has left, which he tends to remind me of to make me feel guilty. How should I react to this? -- AMBER IN TEXAS

DEAR AMBER: Tell your boyfriend that out of consideration for you, he should have cleared it with you before inviting anyone to come along. When he tries to make you feel guilty by reminding you that his sister is all the family he has left, patiently explain that you understand that, but this was supposed to be your first trip together -- just the two of you -- and this has taken the romance out of it.

Then make it clear that you do not intend to foot the bill for Sissy and her boyfriend because that isn't fair to you. And if he doesn't agree, cancel the trip because you wouldn't enjoy it anyway.

DEAR ABBY: I have been estranged from my sister for four years. She lives across the country, so it hasn't been difficult to hold a grudge. Either because I'm turning 50 this year, or maybe it's old-fashioned guilt, I have been feeling the right thing to do is to make amends.

My question is -- how? Should I write a letter, send an email or call her? To be honest, if she made those efforts to me, I would rebuff them. The two of us are similar, so what would be a good way to bridge the conflict? -- HARD-HEADED HAWAIIAN

DEAR H.H.H.: If you call your sister, her knee-jerk reaction might be to hang up. If you email her, it's too easy to hit "delete."

Write her a letter. Tell her you love her, miss her and are sorry for the estrangement. If there is something you need to apologize for, do it in the letter. Wait a week, then give her a call.

If she is as similar to you as you think, she may be as glad to hear your voice as you will be to hear hers. And if she's not, your conscience will be clear because you tried.

DEAR ABBY: For the past few years, my mother, with whom I spend my birthday every year, has gotten into the habit of buying my birthday presents the day of. She waits until my birthday day, then buys them in a rush all at one store or suggests we go shopping together. She's not stingy on price. In fact, she tends to spend more than I think she should.

What bothers me is she makes no effort to prepare a gift in advance and just asks me then and there what I want. She also often buys me a number of things I didn't ask for.

The last thing I want to do on my birthday is go shopping. It has made me increasingly less excited about my birthday each year. How do I explain to her without sounding ungrateful that I'd rather receive one thoughtful present than a lot of expensive ones? -- DOWN ON BIRTHDAYS IN HOUSTON

DEAR DOWN ON BIRTHDAYS: Excuse me, but you do sound ungrateful. Your mother may not be as emotionally invested in birthday celebrations as you are. Or, she may do this because she wants to ensure that you have gifts for your birthday you can actually use.

Rather than criticize her generosity, why not mention in the weeks before your birthday what you might like to have? If you do, it might save her some money and you some frustration.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter is being married soon, and I have an enormous fear that I need some help with. I can't dance. At all. I took some lessons, but I have no sense of rhythm. Although I tell people I can't and won't dance, inevitably some guy has a little too much to drink and tries to drag me to the dance floor.

My husband dances and I encourage him to have a good time, but if he's dancing and I'm sitting alone, someone is sure to ask me. Please help me with a good comeback or a little white lie to keep me off the dance floor! -- CAN'T DANCE IN COLORADO

DEAR CAN'T DANCE: I suppose the most common little white lie would be to plead a sprained ankle. But a more honest reply would be to thank the person and say you prefer not to because you're not comfortable on the dance floor. Said with a smile, it shouldn't offend anybody, even if he has had a few.

DEAR ABBY: I am a full-time working woman, part-time student and new wife to an incredible husband. We're in our mid-20s and have been living together for a year, but I have a problem that I'm still unsure about.

Growing up I never learned to cook. The first meal I ever made was spaghetti when my husband (then fiance) and I moved into our home. My issue is, I hate cooking. I don't have the patience for it and neither does my husband.

Should I be ashamed that I indulge in "box" dinners that take little time to prepare? Naturally, I cook meat and vegetables to go along with them, but is it shameful when a wife doesn't cook everything from scratch? My husband doesn't mind, but I worry. Shouldn't a wife cook real meals for her husband? -- NEW WIFE IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR NEW WIFE: Because many couples both work, many husbands and wives take turns cooking or prepare dinner together. ("Honey, I'll do the salad and vegetables; you fix the chicken/fish/chops on the grill.") The problem with prepackaged meals is that many of them contain more sodium and/or other additives that nutritionists say are bad for one's health when consumed on a regular basis, so I think you do have cause for concern. The most important ingredient in a lasting marriage is a partner who lasts, so if you want yours to last, be vigilant about what you put in your stomachs.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 29-year-old woman and I have been with my fiance, "Gary," for three years. We became engaged six months ago.

When I brought up wedding ideas recently, Gary responded with, "There are things that have to be resolved before I can even think about getting married." In the discussion that followed, he said I need to get a better-paying job so I can contribute to the renovations on the house, buy my own personal items and have a shorter commute.

I'm hurt because I believe marriage is about committing to the person you love. I also realize you can't live on love alone. Am I overly sensitive about this? Is Gary's request reasonable, or do you think he's just looking for an excuse not to get married? -- LOVE ABOVE ALL IN NEW YORK

DEAR LOVE ABOVE ALL: Pay attention to what your fiance said because it appears he has unilaterally mapped out your future for you. This sounds less like a request to me than a demand. Open your eyes and keep talking with him.

Did he specify whether your name will be on the deed to the house you will contribute to renovating? (I hope so.) I also hope you will be lucky enough to find a higher-paying job with a shorter commute, because not everyone is able to do that.

Because I believe in both love and practicality, I think it's important you and Gary have premarital counseling together to clarify whether you're on the same page regarding finances.