DEAR ABBY: My twin brother is an alcoholic and homeless. He has never held a job. Although we have drifted apart, he still contacts me when he needs money, guilt trips me about not having a place to go, and once even faked a drug overdose to get my attention. I have helped him many times, but he always goes back to his old ways.
My heart breaks for him, and the thought of him not having a place to go worries me. I have a family of my own to support and care for. He has shown no gratitude for what I have done to help him, and he insists nobody cares about him. He threatens suicide and won't get help for his alcohol abuse.
My fiance refuses to allow me to help him anymore. I feel helpless and exhausted. I'm tired of constantly worrying about him and letting him make me feel guilty for the life he has chosen. Other relatives will have nothing to do with him. He refuses getting professional help. Please tell me what to do. -- THINKING ABOUT MY WOMB MATE
DEAR THINKING: The only person who can divert your brother from his self-destructive path is himself. Because your attempts at helping him have all failed, recognize that although he refuses getting professional help, it doesn't mean you shouldn't avail yourself of it.
You appear to be a kind, loving and generous sister who has been taken advantage of for a long time, and it may very well take the help of a mental health professional to help you separate from your twin. Please consider it, because the sooner you do, the sooner you will begin to feel better.