DEAR ABBY: I'm 18 and smarter than many people realize. I carefully evaluate every situation to find the best solution, but I can't find one for this problem. My boyfriend, who I've been with for two years, has recently started watching hermaphrodite porn on a website where there are naked pictures of local girls.
"Roy" has admitted he knows several of the girls on the site. When I told him it makes me feel insecure, he lied and said he hadn't been on it. Even though I showed him the history, he still denied it.
I don't know what to do. I feel uncomfortable with him now. I feel like I'm not satisfying him or that he wants someone else. -- INSECURE IN MASSACHUSETTS
DEAR INSECURE: While Roy may have been embarrassed to have been caught, I am still troubled by the fact that he wasn't honest with you. Whether you're not satisfying him is beside the point.
That he lied to you in the face of evidence to the contrary should be a wake-up call. The question becomes -- what else has Roy been less than truthful about? Does he have a fetish? Is he bi-curious?
It would benefit you if you could have an honest conversation with him about it. I don't blame you for feeling uncomfortable right now. Rather than search for shortcomings within yourself, take a long, hard look at Roy. Do you need a boyfriend you can't trust, particularly if you think he may have had sex with some of the individuals who appear on a porn site?