DEAR ABBY: A family member, "Bill," likes to come visit in the afternoons and, because he's not comfortable driving in the dark, he always plans to stay overnight. When he does, he wakes up very early, often before 6 a.m.

Bill tries to be as quiet as possible, but we know when he is up. Our dog hears someone moving around and thinks it's time to go out and eat. My husband or I will get up to take care of our dog, but at that point, it seems rude to go back to bed. My husband likes to go back to sleep, but I feel I should get up and entertain our guest. Is it bad manners to go back to sleep even though it is still very early? -- TO SLEEP, OR NOT TO SLEEP

DEAR T.S. or N.T.S.: If you need your sleep, go back to bed. The right amount of sleep is important, and not getting it can ruin one's entire day.

If you're concerned about Bill not having a good breakfast, before going to bed, put the coffeemaker on "automatic" and show him where the cereal is kept. That's not being a bad hostess, and I'm sure Bill will be just fine.

DEAR ABBY: My letter is in response to "A Mom in Connecticut" (Dec. 27), who feels she is being "fitted in" because her daughter calls her only while driving in her car.

My daughter calls me almost every morning on her way to work. She calls me her "commute buddy." It gives us 10 to 15 minutes to catch up, vent about "stuff" on both ends of the phone, or just chat. I can tell when she arrives at work or very nearly, and we always end with "Love you."

I love our conversations and the fact that although she has an extremely busy schedule she finds the time to chat with me. She uses her hands-free phone, so I don't worry too much about her being distracted. -- SHEILA IN PRESCOTT, ARIZ.

DEAR SHEILA: You may not be worried about your daughter using a hands-free phone, but others have a different view. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Drivers on cellphones -- even hands-free -- are four times more likely to crash and hurt themselves or someone else within five minutes of making a call. Texters are 23 times more likely to crash. More than 3,000 people are killed this way each year and 300,000 to 500,000 are injured. The daughter should not be using a phone at all while driving.

How do I know the statistics? My son was killed by a driver on a cellphone. -- GARY IN KENOSHA, WIS.

DEAR GARY: Please accept my condolences for the tragic loss of your son. You are generous to have written. Too often people take the privilege of driving for granted, forgetting that if they don't concentrate fully on driving, they place themselves and those around them in danger. I see this happen often, and I'm afraid that unless the consequences are draconian, it will continue.

DEAR ABBY: I was recently told by a friend that my husband had sent her texts of an inappropriate and sexual nature. My husband didn't deny that he sent them and refused to tell me what he sent.

This woman is envious of my husband and jealous of our relationship. She often comments about how she'd love to have a man like mine, etc. My concern is, he admits he texted her, but I don't understand why. My intuition tells me she told me the truth, but I want to trust my husband.

Now I'm suspicious. I always want to check his phone, and analyze every aspect of our life and marriage. I feel this has put a huge wedge between us, and I no longer feel the same love and passion for him. Please help. What do I do now? Is my marriage over? -- SUSPICIOUS IN MICHIGAN

DEAR SUSPICIOUS: Your marriage may not be over, but it could be in jeopardy. Considering what has been going on, you have every right to be concerned.

Marriage counseling may help you and your husband get back on track if he's willing to go with you. But if he isn't, then for your own sake, get counseling on your own because you may need to talk to someone who isn't emotionally involved in your turmoil. It will make you stronger.

DEAR ABBY: Every time my new wife and I visit my mom or she visits us, my mother scratches my back, rubs my arm, rests her hand on my inner thigh, tickles me, hugs me or touches me any chance she gets. I don't reciprocate or validate the touching, but I don't discourage it either. She has been this way for so long that I've just gotten used to it. I never noticed how creepy it was until my wife mentioned something.

The problem is, how do I address this with my mother? I don't want to throw my wife under the bus as the reason for the discussion, but I am not sure how believable it will be if I suddenly say after 30-plus years that it bothers me. I want the message that I feel she should stop touching me at every opportunity to come from me. How do I have this conversation? What can I say? -- NO MEANS NO

DEAR NO MEANS NO: Say, "I love you, Mom, and I know I should have mentioned this before, but when you do that, it makes me uncomfortable, so please stop." If she wants to know why, all you have to do is tell her you know she loves you, but you think what she's doing is excessive.

DEAR ABBY: We go out to eat occasionally with another couple I'll call Jack and Jill. Most restaurants around here offer free refills on soft drinks or self-serve. Jack will order water (free) to drink while Jill orders a soda. They then take their empty glasses and refill them with a colorless soft drink.

They see nothing wrong with the practice. We think it's stealing, and we are embarrassed. What are your thoughts, and how should we react when this is done in front of us? Lately we have been making excuses to avoid going out with them. -- EATING WITH CHEAPSKATES

DEAR E.W.C.: I agree that it's stealing. Jack and Jill are taking something to which they are not entitled. Have you spoken to them about it? If you have, then because their behavior makes you uncomfortable, you are justified in not going out with them.

DEAR ABBY: I teach at a fairly small school. My grade-level teaching team consists of five teachers who work closely together.

During the last school year, one of my team members got engaged. This year, we've had a change of staff and now have a new member on our team. My colleague has not, and does not, plan to invite this new member to her wedding, although the rest of us are invited. The save-the-dates and shower invitations have all been hand-delivered at school, making it awkward for the person who has not been invited.

I feel it wasn't appropriate to include all but one of the team simply because she is new to the group. Am I correct in feeling that my colleague did not handle this appropriately? -- FRUSTRATED IN THE FIRST GRADE

DEAR FRUSTRATED: A wedding is not a children's birthday party to which all the children must be invited if the invitations are handed out at school. While it would have been more diplomatic if the bride had mailed or emailed the invitations to her teammates, she was in no way obligated to invite someone with whom she hadn't worked.

DEAR ABBY: How do you handle providing truthful advice to someone with sensitive feelings? My sister "Ella" is actively dating and doesn't seem to handle the rejection well. This leads her to ask a number of questions she wants me to be truthful about, yet when I answer honestly, she gets mad and sometimes starts to cry.

Now when Ella asks my opinion, I either tell her half-truths or avoid the situation altogether. I'm not mean when I say what I think, but I think she only wants to hear what she wants. How do I answer her questions without hurting her feelings yet be truthful? -- TONGUE-TIED IN OHIO

DEAR TONGUE-TIED: You don't. Instead, you suggest that Ella seek information from someone "more qualified" -- a psychologist. Because she has had one failed relationship after another, it would benefit her to talk to a therapist so she won't keep repeating the same mistakes she's making. Your sister may be attracted to the wrong kind of men, or so needy she chases men away. She may be more receptive to hearing what she needs to from a therapist than from you.

DEAR ABBY: I have a man living with me as a boarder, paying weekly rent. He's a friend as well, but not a close one.

I'm at a loss as to how to tell him he can't use my bath towels, washcloth, bar soap, toothpaste or hairbrush. I'm tempted to tape a list on the bathroom mirror saying, "Please do not use the following," then list the items I feel are too personal to share. I can't imagine how someone would think it's OK to use someone else's personal things. -- GROSSED-OUT GUY IN THE SOUTH

DEAR GROSSED OUT: The thing about silence is that it implies consent. Obviously, your boarder knows or cares nothing about boundaries. If you don't have the courage to tell him face-to-face that certain things are off-limits and what they are, then by all means tape a large sign to the bathroom mirror.