DEAR ABBY: I was recently told by a friend that my husband had sent her texts of an inappropriate and sexual nature. My husband didn't deny that he sent them and refused to tell me what he sent.

This woman is envious of my husband and jealous of our relationship. She often comments about how she'd love to have a man like mine, etc. My concern is, he admits he texted her, but I don't understand why. My intuition tells me she told me the truth, but I want to trust my husband.

Now I'm suspicious. I always want to check his phone, and analyze every aspect of our life and marriage. I feel this has put a huge wedge between us, and I no longer feel the same love and passion for him. Please help. What do I do now? Is my marriage over? -- SUSPICIOUS IN MICHIGAN

DEAR SUSPICIOUS: Your marriage may not be over, but it could be in jeopardy. Considering what has been going on, you have every right to be concerned.

Marriage counseling may help you and your husband get back on track if he's willing to go with you. But if he isn't, then for your own sake, get counseling on your own because you may need to talk to someone who isn't emotionally involved in your turmoil. It will make you stronger.

DEAR ABBY: Every time my new wife and I visit my mom or she visits us, my mother scratches my back, rubs my arm, rests her hand on my inner thigh, tickles me, hugs me or touches me any chance she gets. I don't reciprocate or validate the touching, but I don't discourage it either. She has been this way for so long that I've just gotten used to it. I never noticed how creepy it was until my wife mentioned something.

The problem is, how do I address this with my mother? I don't want to throw my wife under the bus as the reason for the discussion, but I am not sure how believable it will be if I suddenly say after 30-plus years that it bothers me. I want the message that I feel she should stop touching me at every opportunity to come from me. How do I have this conversation? What can I say? -- NO MEANS NO

DEAR NO MEANS NO: Say, "I love you, Mom, and I know I should have mentioned this before, but when you do that, it makes me uncomfortable, so please stop." If she wants to know why, all you have to do is tell her you know she loves you, but you think what she's doing is excessive.

DEAR ABBY: We go out to eat occasionally with another couple I'll call Jack and Jill. Most restaurants around here offer free refills on soft drinks or self-serve. Jack will order water (free) to drink while Jill orders a soda. They then take their empty glasses and refill them with a colorless soft drink.

They see nothing wrong with the practice. We think it's stealing, and we are embarrassed. What are your thoughts, and how should we react when this is done in front of us? Lately we have been making excuses to avoid going out with them. -- EATING WITH CHEAPSKATES

DEAR E.W.C.: I agree that it's stealing. Jack and Jill are taking something to which they are not entitled. Have you spoken to them about it? If you have, then because their behavior makes you uncomfortable, you are justified in not going out with them.

DEAR ABBY: I teach at a fairly small school. My grade-level teaching team consists of five teachers who work closely together.

During the last school year, one of my team members got engaged. This year, we've had a change of staff and now have a new member on our team. My colleague has not, and does not, plan to invite this new member to her wedding, although the rest of us are invited. The save-the-dates and shower invitations have all been hand-delivered at school, making it awkward for the person who has not been invited.

I feel it wasn't appropriate to include all but one of the team simply because she is new to the group. Am I correct in feeling that my colleague did not handle this appropriately? -- FRUSTRATED IN THE FIRST GRADE

DEAR FRUSTRATED: A wedding is not a children's birthday party to which all the children must be invited if the invitations are handed out at school. While it would have been more diplomatic if the bride had mailed or emailed the invitations to her teammates, she was in no way obligated to invite someone with whom she hadn't worked.

DEAR ABBY: How do you handle providing truthful advice to someone with sensitive feelings? My sister "Ella" is actively dating and doesn't seem to handle the rejection well. This leads her to ask a number of questions she wants me to be truthful about, yet when I answer honestly, she gets mad and sometimes starts to cry.

Now when Ella asks my opinion, I either tell her half-truths or avoid the situation altogether. I'm not mean when I say what I think, but I think she only wants to hear what she wants. How do I answer her questions without hurting her feelings yet be truthful? -- TONGUE-TIED IN OHIO

DEAR TONGUE-TIED: You don't. Instead, you suggest that Ella seek information from someone "more qualified" -- a psychologist. Because she has had one failed relationship after another, it would benefit her to talk to a therapist so she won't keep repeating the same mistakes she's making. Your sister may be attracted to the wrong kind of men, or so needy she chases men away. She may be more receptive to hearing what she needs to from a therapist than from you.

DEAR ABBY: I have a man living with me as a boarder, paying weekly rent. He's a friend as well, but not a close one.

I'm at a loss as to how to tell him he can't use my bath towels, washcloth, bar soap, toothpaste or hairbrush. I'm tempted to tape a list on the bathroom mirror saying, "Please do not use the following," then list the items I feel are too personal to share. I can't imagine how someone would think it's OK to use someone else's personal things. -- GROSSED-OUT GUY IN THE SOUTH

DEAR GROSSED OUT: The thing about silence is that it implies consent. Obviously, your boarder knows or cares nothing about boundaries. If you don't have the courage to tell him face-to-face that certain things are off-limits and what they are, then by all means tape a large sign to the bathroom mirror.

DEAR ABBY: My fiance, "Bubba," and I have a small disagreement that I would love your take on. He constantly complains that he's too tired, or annoyed or busy, to show me romantic or friendly affection and attention. But he goes out of his way to snuggle and play with our two dogs and cat.

I get jealous when he kisses our dogs over and over again, or stays up later to play with the cat. He thinks I am overreacting.

Am I being petty, or am I justified in thinking that if he has the time and energy to give affection and love to our animals, he should do the same for the woman he's about to make his wife? -- INSULTED IN CONNECTICUT

DEAR INSULTED: You're not overreacting or being petty. Perhaps when Bubba is cuddling the animals, you should remind him that humans need to feel loved in the same way they do. Bubba appears to be extremely insensitive. Please reconsider your engagement, because if you marry Bubba, you may end up starving for affection for as long as the marriage lasts.

DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law is now in a nursing home. When my husband's birthday came around, he was depressed by the fact that it was the first time in his life he hadn't gotten a birthday card from her.

So, after struggling to think of a Christmas present for her, I went to the dollar store and bought four Christmas cards and four birthday cards (one for each of her children). I took them to her and had her sign and add a personal note to each one.

I addressed, stamped and mailed the Christmas cards. I will mail the birthday ones at the appropriate times during the year. It was an inexpensive gift, and kind of fun! -- SENDING LOVE IN CEDAR RAPIDS

DEAR SENDING LOVE: It may have been an inexpensive gift, but I'm sure it was precious not only to her but also for each of the recipients. Your idea was lovely, and thank you for sharing it with my readers. Some of them may want to emulate it for other holidays or special occasions.

DEAR ABBY: Three years ago, our son, who is in his 50s, cut off all communication with us and our side of the family. He is self-employed, a hard worker and has three siblings.

He wanted us to co-sign on a loan for a house in another state. The payments would have run us out of money in three years, which would have meant putting our own home up for sale.

Our reason for refusing was we didn't want to risk becoming a burden on our children. My husband and I had to help our own parents, so we have been frugal and never lived above our means.

I send postcards to my son to let him know our love is constant. Should I stop and just leave him alone, as he has asked? -- FORGOTTEN MOM IN ARKANSAS

DEAR MOM: Your son should not have expected you to do anything at this stage of your lives that could jeopardize your remaining years. But if it brings you comfort, I see nothing wrong with sending him the occasional postcard.