DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been separated for a year. I have been seeing another woman in a city nearby, and my wife is aware of it.

I took my lady friend out for dinner recently while visiting her in her town. A couple from home who know my wife and me were also eating at this restaurant. I greeted them as we walked by their table.

The next day, my wife approached me and showed me a picture of me and my date that had been taken by this couple without my knowledge. I was furious about the invasion of privacy. My wife claims I am just angry because I got "caught." If I were worried about getting caught, I wouldn't have been in a public restaurant in a city frequented by people who know me.

What are your thoughts on people who secretly take photos like this? Do they really think they are doing their civic duty? -- VIOLATED IN IOWA

DEAR VIOLATED: You have a right to your privacy. If you and your wife have been separated for a year, then with whom you socialize is your own business. The same applies to your wife.

I fail to see what kind of "civic duty" this couple was performing by taking a picture of you and your date. Frankly, I think it was in poor taste and served no good purpose.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 30 and have felt pretty happy with my life. I enjoy my job, my social life, staying fit and extensive stays abroad. I thought I was going along OK, even though there is still room for improvement.

My biggest (or most obvious) shortcoming, however, is that I'm not attractive in any way, and guys have never been attracted to me, so any chance at a future with someone is not an option. I thought I was learning to accept it, but it's harder than I thought -- especially because of reactions from other people.

Now that I'm older, people look at me with pity or treat me strangely. I don't know how to handle the constant questioning about whether I have found someone yet. It is not going to happen. Is there something wrong with me? I'm starting to feel like a total loser and complete failure. -- LOSER IN LOVE

DEAR LOSER IN LOVE: If you are asked whether you have "found someone yet," tell the person the truth, that Chris Pine hasn't found you yet.

There are worse things than singlehood. You have so many positive things going for you in your life, it's time you recognized it. The person who deserves pity isn't someone who is single; it's someone who is trapped in a marriage to a husband she doesn't love or who treats her badly.

Your problem isn't that you are a "loser"; it's that you have low self-esteem. You could benefit from talking to a counselor about this, because everyone has something to offer, including you, and for others to appreciate your finer qualities, you need to stop being so hard on yourself.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 42-year-old divorced woman with no children. My ex-husband has a son whose life I was a part of for 18 years. When people ask if I have kids, my reply is, "Yes, I have a stepson."

Why do people think it's OK to say things like, "That's not the same as having your own," or, "That doesn't count"? Then they usually go on to ask why I don't have children of my own.

My response is a big fat lie. I say, "It just never happened." The truth is my ex didn't want any more children. What can I say to these people to let them know that they need to stop and think about what they say and ask, because their word choice in this circumstance is hurtful to the point of tears? -- STEPMOM IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR STEPMOM: A person who would downplay your role as a parent is rude, thoughtless and not worth your time. As to asking why someone is childless, I have addressed this subject in my column before. While many folks start conversations by asking whether someone has children, it can be a dangerous question.

I learned my lesson and stopped asking after having received an answer from one man that his son was doing life in prison as an accomplice to murder. Another man told me he had two children, a daughter and an estranged son who was also serving a long sentence -- for selling narcotics. Neither person was happy to have been asked. After that, I stopped asking.

I see no reason why you shouldn't simply tell the truth about why you are child-free. Not having (or wanting) children is nothing to be ashamed of -- it's a personal choice that an increasing number of couples have opted for without regret.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been together for 18 months. Last night we were talking about doing more in the bedroom, and he told me that he is bisexual.

I have nothing against the LGBT community, but finding this out after so long shocked me. I'm worried now, and I can't seem to wrap my head around the fact that he has sex with guys. I just can't quite look at or think of him the same way.

I really do love him and can still see a future with him. I just don't know how to handle this BIG news. Please, Abby, you're my only hope. -- LIZ IN TEXAS

DEAR LIZ: I would be curious about why your boyfriend waited so long to tell you. Because someone is bisexual does not mean the person is unfaithful and sleeping with both sexes at the same time. It simply means the person is attracted to members of both sexes. You need to have further discussion with your boyfriend regarding his attitude about his commitment to you before deciding what to do about his "big" news.

DEAR ABBY: I have a problem with blushing. Whenever I'm the center of attention, even if it's with just one other person, my face goes bright red. This even happens when I'm not feeling embarrassed.

I've learned to cope with the feeling of my face flushing. What I'm having trouble with is people's comments about why my face is so red. I've never been able to come up with a good response. Telling them I'm not really embarrassed is met with skepticism. Please help. -- RED-FACED IN MEMPHIS

DEAR RED-FACED: My advice is to be upfront and tell the questioner that you don't know why it happens, but you're not embarrassed. As you already know, blushing can happen if someone suffers from a social phobia. In cases like that, counseling and support groups can help. However, because you find it happening even when you are not pressured or embarrassed, discuss it with your physician to be sure there isn't an underlying physical problem.

DEAR ABBY: I've been dating my 42-year-old boyfriend, "Mike," for a year. I love him, but he's a heavy drinker. He has a glass or two of whiskey on a daily basis and goes through a huge bottle of whiskey every weekend. (He also drinks beer like water.) When I asked him to cut back, he refused because he "loves" whiskey. I have never seen him drunk or act intoxicated, so he obviously has a high tolerance.

It bothers me that Mike drinks so much and that he won't cut back. I told him I wouldn't marry him unless he does. My problem is, I don't know whether he's an alcoholic since he doesn't ever show signs of intoxication. I've been told that alcoholism is a progressive disease and that it will only increase.

What constitutes an alcoholic? Is it possible for Mike to drink every day but not be one? I don't want to lose him, but he also has a very bad temper, and I'm afraid it's not a good combination if we were to get married. -- TORN IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR TORN: You are right to be concerned. Even if Mike promised "not to drink so much," he might backslide on his promise after the wedding.

Also, has it occurred to you that the whiskey may be part of what is causing Mike's bad temper? Large quantities of alcohol have been known to alter a person's perception, and the results can be explosive. If you haven't already done so, consider attending an Al-Anon meeting, which may confirm this.

I'm not a medical doctor, but it would be interesting to know what your boyfriend's physician thinks about the amount of alcohol he consumes, because the quantity you say Mike puts away may put him at risk for cirrhosis of the liver.

This may be more information than you asked for, but I don't think Mike is marriage material because it appears he is already wedded to his bottle.