DEAR ABBY: I am a 38-year-old male who has never been married. I have been in three serious relationships, all of them with women who have children. Each time when these relationships ended, I found myself heartbroken and traumatized. I experienced a kind of withdrawal because of the emotional bond I had with the children.

I have now decided to date only women who have no children. But my friends and co-workers say I'm being short-sighted and "closing the door to several opportunities." Because of our disagreements, I find myself spending more and more time away from them, and more time alone.

Are my friends right? Or should I stick to my guns and keep looking for that special someone who does not come with a family attached? -- MONTANA LONELY

DEAR MONTANA LONELY: If you prefer to start dating women who don't have children, that is your privilege. Your friends may think you will be missing out on a good thing, but it's really none of their business.

While I agree that by going in this direction you may miss out on a lovely lady who also happens to be a mother, because your sadness after your breakups had more to do with missing the children than the woman you were seeing, a change of pace might be healthy for you.

P.S. If you think these breakups were painful for you, imagine what it was like for the children to have a potential father to whom they had grown close disappear from their lives. This is why many mothers keep their dating lives completely separate until they are sure the relationship will be permanent.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter's third birthday is coming soon, and since the new thing is sending out website-generated invitations, I have noticed that it is becoming common to include the child's interests, clothes/shoe size, etc. in the invitation.

I'm uncomfortable about including this information because I feel a child should be grateful for anything he or she receives as a gift. Am I too old-fashioned or is this tacky? If it is acceptable these days, what's a good way to provide a child's wish list without sounding expectant of anything? -- YOUNG MOM IN SAN MATEO, CALIFORNIA

DEAR YOUNG MOM: I appreciate that you want to teach your child good manners and good values. How else are children to learn if their parents don't take the time to explain what they are?

I understand some parents try to save time by including the information you have described along with their party invitations, but frankly, it IS tacky. The parents of prospective guests should reply to the invitation by ASKING what gifts the child would enjoy or can use.

If the invitation was issued online, the question can be asked via texting or email. However, a phone call is more personal and, frankly, more refined.

DEAR ABBY: I was invited to my first prom yesterday. The boy is a senior and the son of a friend of my mom's.

We have a lot in common. We have been friends for years and compete against each other in academics. The problem is, he asked a close friend of mine to go to the prom last week, and he did it right in front of me.

My friends, including the girl who said no, keep telling me he really does like me, even though I was apparently his second choice. The trouble is, I already said yes and I don't want to go back on my word. How do I keep myself from feeling like a consolation prize? -- SECOND BEST

DEAR S.B.: The boy who asked you to the prom wants to have a good time. As you said, you are friendly and have a lot in common. Please don't let the fact that he asked your friend first get in your way. It's not a contest for anyone's affection; it's only a dance.

DEAR ABBY: I met an amazing lady. She's beautiful, sexy, charming, attentive, classy, smart and conservative. In short, she is almost everything a good man would ask for in a woman except for one thing -- she's a tad clingy, and in some instances, it is annoying.

I'm the type of guy who loves my space. She seems to respect it, but gets a little down when I decline an offer to spend time. To avoid hurting or offending her, I sometimes just do whatever will make her happy, although it feels like a chore. Don't get me wrong, I'm physically and mentally attracted to her, but I'm not sure about the emotional part.

The more I feel I'm forcing myself to spend time with her, the more I lose interest. I know this is cliche, but I honestly feel that it's not her, it's me. Am I just not ready to settle down? -- LIKES MY SPACE

DEAR LIKES: That's what it sounds like to me. And that's what you should tell the lady, because someone with all the wonderful qualities you attribute to her won't be alone and heartbroken for long. In fact, if she knew that you feel you must "force" yourself to be with her, your relationship would already be history.

DEAR ABBY: In June of last year I fractured my kneecap. I was employed at the time and asked my daughter to fill in for me while I recuperated. Not only did she walk away from the job, she has yet to visit or even call me to see how I am doing.

I can't imagine anyone being so cold and distant. It hurts me to this day. How can I get past this hurt and disappointment? -- STILL HURTING IN PALM DESERT

DEAR STILL HURTING: I can't imagine anyone being so cold and distant -- not to mention irresponsible -- unless there were unresolved issues between the two of you before you hurt your knee, or your daughter has emotional problems.

How do you get past something as painful as this wake-up call has been? The first option would be to try to understand what has caused your daughter to act the way she has. Another would be to fill your days with enough activities that you don't have time to dwell on it.

DEAR ABBY: When my husband and I go to visit my mother (in another city) every other month or so, my brother and his wife insist on coming over to see us while we're there. Our visits usually last two or three days.

Many times when they come over, my sister-in-law will start doing her exercise routine, including floor exercises, which are, in my husband's and my opinion, unbecoming and inappropriate to do in front of other people.

How do we deal with this? Are we crazy to feel awkward when she's lying on her back doing these pelvic thrusts? Would it be out of line to ask her NOT to do this in the future?

My brother says, "She won't listen to me, so it wouldn't do any good to talk to her," so we know talking to her won't help. What do you suggest? -- FEELING AWKWARD

DEAR FEELING AWKWARD: Here's how I'd handle it. Talk to her anyway, and ask her to please refrain from doing these exercises in your presence because it makes you uncomfortable. But if that doesn't work and she starts "performing," stand up and say, "Hey, folks. Let's go out for a walk (or coffee, or a sandwich)," and put an end to her bid for attention that way.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend will have "scheduled" sex with me -- only after he has had his shower in the evening or in the morning. Every once in a while I get lucky and am able to stop by after work and have a quickie. It's driving me crazy.

I have tried many ways to get him to have sex spontaneously, but he won't budge. It's starting to be a turn-off because it's not the "right time." What do I do? -- LOOSER THAN THAT IN DETROIT

DEAR LOOSER: Your boyfriend may have a touch of OCD, or need to feel "in control" when he has sex. In other words, if the encounter is not his idea and at the time he chooses, he doesn't get turned on.

There's help for him if he's willing to admit there "may" be a problem. But if he isn't, then find yourself another fella because nothing is likely to change.

DEAR ABBY: My sister-in-law is being married in September. I am in the wedding. My wife and I are having a baby in June, but the bride does not want to include my new baby. I think she is concerned people will pay attention to the baby and not her.

Many distant relatives will attend and this may be the only time they will see my son. She plans to invite more than 200 people. Am I right to be upset that my son, her nephew, is not invited? -- JOHN DOE IN PLANO, TEXAS

DEAR JOHN DOE: I don't think so. It's the bride's day, and you should abide by her wishes without complaining. If she prefers not to have her wedding disrupted by an infant who needs feeding or changing, it's her choice.

Because you want to show off your new baby, bring along pictures and pass them around. I'm sure the relatives will be thrilled to see them.