DEAR ABBY: I am a soldier in Afghanistan who is single with few friends, if you would even call them that. We work 24/7. No days off, no breaks. It's not an easy life. You would not believe how nice it is to receive a message from family or friends.

Don't get me wrong, I have a loving family who support me and everything I do. When I first got here, I'd get a message from them at least once a week. But now that I am seven months into a 12-month deployment, it has been almost two months since I have gotten anything.

Now, I know if I reach out and send a message -- which I have done -- I'll get replies, but am I wrong for not wanting to have to do that? Is it wrong to wish that I could come in, relax, and find a message waiting for me? I know they love me and are busy with their lives, but sometimes it seems that I am forgotten. It would be comforting to know someone is thinking about me. Any day now could be my last. -- DEPLOYED SOLDIER

DEAR DEPLOYED SOLDIER: Because you're feeling lonely and forgotten, it's important to let your family and friends back home know how you feel. They are not mind readers. You say you heard from them in the early months of your deployment. But have you reached out to them recently? If you haven't, they may assume you are being kept so busy that you are unable to stay in touch with them. The surest way to get what you need is to communicate -- and that applies to more situations in life than this one.

DEAR ABBY: I am a senior in high school in Texas. Everyone has decided which college they want to go to and what they want to be. I have no clue. It is frustrating, because when adults ask what my plans for the future are and I say I don't know, they look at me like I'm stupid.

I feel 18 years isn't long enough to figure all that out. I am an introvert, and I would really like to open up a cute little cafe in New York when I am older. But every time I tell someone this is what I'd like to do, they ask how I'm going to make money at it. They're right -- I can't make a living off a coffee shop, especially with the high cost of living in New York.

I'm lost and don't know what to do. I have less than a year to figure things out, and it's starting to stress me. Please give me some advice. I need a friend. -- LOST IN TEXAS

DEAR LOST: You not only need a friend, you also need a counselor to help you find direction. If there isn't one at your school, consider discussing this with a career counselor at a nearby university or community college. Some courses in business administration would be valuable for you so you can learn the nuts and bolts about running a business and avoid common mistakes that might cause yours to fail.

Some classes in commercial cooking would also be helpful. If there isn't a trade school nearby that offers them, consider working for a year or two in the restaurant industry to see how it functions. Many of the best chefs in the world started out that way, and you will learn quickly if this is something you really want to pursue.

P.S. Being an introvert doesn't have to stop you, if you partner with someone who's a people person to work the front of the shop and teach you the art of "schmoozing."

DEAR ABBY: I have decided that when I have kids I don't want to do the whole "Santa" thing. I'd rather tell them about the real St. Nicholas and what it means to give rather than to receive. Even though I'm not religious, I'll tell them about the birth of Jesus (even though he wasn't born in December), and tell them about the winter solstice.

After working years of retail, I have seen firsthand what people can be like around the holidays, especially parents buying expensive, high-demand/low-supply things for their kids, and parents who put themselves in debt to make their kids happy. I am saddened by stories of kids writing to Santa and asking him to get their unemployed parents money for food.

Most people I have spoken with disagree with my decision. They call me a Scrooge or say I'm "taking my kids' innocence away."

What do you think? Do you think I'm awful for wanting to teach them about charitable St. Nick, instead of commercializing Santa Claus? -- SANTA-LESS IN COLORADO

DEAR SANTA-LESS: I agree you should talk to your children about the birth of Jesus, as well as the pagan festivals that Christmas replaced, if you wish. While you're at it, also stress to them what the spirit of Christmas is supposed to be -- even if it seems sometimes lost in the commercialism of the holiday.

However, wait until your children ask you about Santa. When they do, tell them the truth. That way, they will learn that when they ask their mother something, they will always be given an honest answer.

DEAR ABBY: When our son got married 10 years ago, we tried to establish a relationship with his wife. We found her to be strong-willed and controlling, and sadly accepted that she was determined to exclude us from their lives. We realized she didn't want to share him with anyone else. We spent no holidays together, but when I requested to see them once a year on my son's birthday, we would meet halfway for a meal to keep the visit short.

After they had two children, we were allowed to see them on their birthdays. Gifts were always accepted and we were thanked. As the years passed, we were also allowed some phone calls and Skyping. But now, since his father died last year, my son agrees with his wife that no further contact with me is necessary.

I have two questions: First, do I continue to send gifts and cards to them? Second, if the children, now 5 and 7, are no longer allowed to see me, do I change my will? -- HEARTBROKEN GRANDMA

DEAR HEARTBROKEN GRANDMA: What a sad situation. If your grandchildren are not allowed to see you, then you really will no longer have a relationship. Continue trying to maintain contact, however, and perhaps the situation will improve later. You can do with your assets exactly as you please, but don't make any snap decisions now.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 15-year-old girl. For the past year I have been self-injuring. I take a sharp object and scrape the skin off until it bleeds. My mom saw the scars on my arm. I have 15 other ones, but she doesn't know about them.

I have to keep lying to her and it hurts. I want to stop, but I can't. How can I tell her I lied? I know she will be very upset. -- STUCK IN UTAH

DEAR STUCK: Go to your mother, tell her that you need to talk to her about something important, but you are afraid she will be angry with you. Ask her to hear you out before she reacts. Then tell her everything you have told me and ask for her help. That's what mothers are for.

If necessary, show her your letter to me and my response because she needs to understand that when individuals self-injure, it is often to cope with serious depression -- which is an illness -- and it takes the help of a mental health professional to stop.

DEAR ABBY: I am an eighth-grader in junior high, and there is a girl I really like. My problem is I'm afraid to tell her I love her.

I know she likes someone else and wants to go out with him, but I don't know if she likes me. When I'm home, I write her poems, and I want to drop them off at her locker, but I am scared to. We are in three classes together. Do you have any advice? -- NERVOUS BOY

DEAR NERVOUS BOY: Yes. If you're smart, you'll wait until that girl is over her crush before declaring your feelings for her. The boy she has her eye on may or may not be interested in her. But as long as she's fixated on him, she won't be receptive to a romance with you, and it could be embarrassing if you say anything prematurely. (The same goes for anonymously dropping off your literary efforts at her locker.)