DEAR ABBY: I was divorced three years ago and have had a boyfriend, "Roger," for a year and a half. He is seven years younger, and he's intrigued with women on the Internet.

He saves tons of photos of these girls on his cellphone. These ladies are "perfect." They have big breasts and curvaceous behinds, etc. I have had two kids. I'm not overweight and I exercise and keep myself in shape, but I have a "Mom body."

Roger has told me he loves my body and everything about me. But the feeling I get is that he wishes I looked like those girls.

I have asked Roger not to save these photos because it makes me insecure. If he's going to look, fine. But saving them is another thing. He promised me he wouldn't, but some of them are still there. So he not only makes me feel like a fatty, but he lies to me, too. He has more pictures of other girls than he does of me.

Now I no longer feel comfortable undressing in front of him. I leave my clothes half-on and turn out the lights when we have sex. He has made me unable to stand myself. What do I do? -- CAN'T COMPARE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR CAN'T COMPARE: The first thing to do would be to stop looking at your boyfriend's cellphone. Then ask yourself whether he has been seeing other women or just collecting pictures. If it's the former, you have something to worry about. If it's the latter, it's no reflection on you, and he has voyeuristic tendencies (men are visual).

Stop making comparisons. He says he loves your body. Unless you have a solid reason to think differently, believe him.

You are overdue for a frank talk with Roger, and when you do, tell him everything you have written to me. Your problem may go deeper than his photo gallery and your lowered self-image. If you can't trust what he tells you, the foundation of your relationship isn't solid.

DEAR ABBY: I'm carrying a heavy burden concerning my 14-year-old grandson. He told me in strictest confidence that he had sex with a 14-year-old girl. I have been his male support system, mentor, adviser, disciplinarian and friend for 12 years because his father is rarely in the picture.

He swore me to secrecy, which I want to respect, but I'm torn about telling my daughter. She has a right to know that her son is sexually active and needs closer supervision. We discussed condoms (they used them), accidental pregnancy, possible criminal charges and responsibility, but I think he is more proud than alert to the possible consequences.

If I share this with my daughter, I break a long-held trust. When I urged him to tell his mother, he refused. What do I do? This is tearing me up. -- KANSAS GRANDPA

DEAR GRANDPA: Without betraying the confidence, start talking to your daughter about how, at 14, her son is fast becoming a man with all that it entails, including raging hormones. Then suggest she have some frank talks with the boy and keep a closer eye on him, unless she wants to become a grandma before he's out of high school.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $7 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price.

DEAR ABBY: Since the moment my oldest son, "Ryan," enlisted in the U.S. Army, our family has been concerned he would be deployed. Although Ryan graduated from high school near the top of his class and had prepared for university, his plans were thwarted when deployment orders came to face off with ISIS in a combat engineer role. He leaves soon for the Middle East.

Abby, I need your insight in understanding why I am not falling apart. My other children are, my relatives are, and people I speak to are stunned that I'm holding it together. I try to explain that I support my son and must be strong for my family, but am I in denial? Everyone else is falling apart while I, who adore him and can't envision a life without him, seem to be holding steady.

What's going on with me? Am I a flawed mother? I feel like I'm disappointing others who would prefer to see a soldier's mother grieve and agonize over her son's departure, anticipating the worst. Your thoughts are most welcome. -- BAFFLED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR BAFFLED: You are not "flawed." Not everyone handles emotionally charged situations in the same way. While you may be numb with shock, you may also be calm, stoic and not show your feelings openly. It's also possible that you may be "postponing" any negative emotions until if and when it's necessary to experience them. My reaction is that no one should judge you -- least of all yourself right now.

DEAR ABBY: I'm the father of a beautiful, intelligent 9-year-old daughter I'll call Stella. About three years ago, her mother married a man from an affluent family and moved three hours away. In order to be closer to Stella, I moved there as well.

I have been divorced for six years now, and my relationship with my daughter has not improved during that time. I spend every Thursday afternoon with her and every other weekend. She recently joined a basketball team, and I go to her practices and games.

My biggest concern -- and pain -- is, whenever Stella is with me she cries for her mother. It hurts, because I have tried hard to foster a relationship with my daughter and have been unable to. I took her to Disney World and she spent half the time crying. I ask myself if I am only hurting her or if I should continue to see her. Can you give me some advice? -- DISAPPOINTED DADDY IN TEXAS

DEAR DISAPPOINTED DADDY: Have you talked to Stella's mother and asked her what's going on with your daughter? By age 9 she's a little old for separation anxiety. Not knowing everyone involved, my first reaction is to wonder if there has been parental alienation happening.

My second is to suggest that you enlist the help of a licensed family therapist to find out why Stella acts this way every time she's alone with you. If the problem is that she is immature, ride things out. If it's something more, then it's important you get to the bottom of it.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more sociable person, order "How to Be Popular." Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $7 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: For those who are looking for gift suggestions for older parents, may I offer what my kids do for us? They live far away and usually visit us in the spring and fall.

Before they leave, my daughter scrubs my bathroom shower and the rest of the room, cleans my refrigerator, oven, kitchen cabinets, my carpets -- things that are difficult for me to do. While she's inside doing that, my son-in-law is outside trimming trees and bushes, doing general yard cleanup in the spring and raking leaves and disposing of them in the fall.

In addition, during the months before their visit, my daughter is setting aside and freezing small portions of entrees so we will have future dinners from her meals. She also freezes an assortment of different soups in zip-lock bags, laid flat so they will fit well in my freezer. While they're here, they cook all the meals and do the cleanup. What a wonderful gift!

Even if some families don't cook, they could make up small meals with deli purchases and freeze them for their parents. Nothing could be appreciated more. Instead of buying a useless gift because "We didn't know what to get you -- you said you didn't want anything," these are gifts that keep on giving! -- TRULY BLESSED IN MONTANA

DEAR TRULY BLESSED: I agree. And you are fortunate to have such caring family members. Please allow me to offer some additional gift suggestions for seniors:

Many individuals on fixed incomes would appreciate a gift basket of goodies such as small cans of tuna, salmon or soup. Include with them crackers, assorted flavors of instant coffee, herbal teas, soup mixes and cookies.

Gift certificates also make welcome gifts: for groceries, haircuts, manicures, dry cleaning, restaurant meals, theater tickets and department stores. And don't forget prepaid calling cards.

Create homemade coupons that can be redeemed for chores such as window washing, painting, replacing air conditioning filters and light bulbs, moving heavy furniture for spring and fall cleaning, and transportation for shopping, doctor's visits, etc.

Because not all seniors drive, bus passes and coupons for senior transportation or taxis can also give the recipient the gift of freedom.

Sweat pants, athletic socks and walking shoes may motivate the sedentary to become more active -- which improves circulation and cognition for people of every age.

Stationery, stamps and some felt-tipped pens make handy gifts that can be used throughout the year. And so do large-print address books with the information already transferred from the recipients' records.

And please, don't forget that the holiday season can be a depressing time for people who are alone. I am often asked for gift ideas for the person "who already has everything." My answer: The greatest gift a person can give is the gift of yourself. If you know someone who could use an outing, offer the most meaningful gift of all -- an invitation to share a meal with you or your family.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $7 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)