DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for eight years. We have no children of our own, but he has an 18-year-old daughter from a previous relationship who has been coming over every other weekend and holidays since she was 10. Even though she lives with her mother, she has a dedicated room that's packed to the gills with her clothes, games, toys, etc.

I would like to repurpose her room now that she is off to college. My husband says no. We don't have a guest bedroom, so I feel strongly that it makes no sense to keep her room intact when we could use the extra space. I have made many sacrifices as a stepmother over the years, and feel I deserve to finally stretch out a bit and enjoy the extra space. By the way, all the furniture in her room happens to be mine, and her room used to be my guest room before we got married.

My friends agree with me, but my husband says he needs "time to adjust." I'm really upset and would like an objective opinion. Am I being unreasonable or asking too much too soon? -- FRUSTRATED IN FLORIDA

DEAR FRUSTRATED: If you want peace and tranquility under your roof, my advice is to slow down and don't jump the gun. Your husband appears to be suffering from a form of empty nest anxiety right now. Let this play out for another year or two, so he can see how little his daughter will be using that room. It would also be better for her not to feel that the minute she left town you dismantled "her" room. If you'll be patient, and trust me on this, you'll look like a saint. If you don't, you may come across as heavy-handed and be labeled a wicked stepmother.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are friendly with our neighbors. We're all smokers, but they don't smoke inside and we do.

It seems like they have decided that coming to our house every day to hang out is acceptable, which normally wouldn't be a problem. But they come in, sit on our couch and don't say a word to us. Their eyes are glued to their tablets or cellphones instead. They respond to our attempts at conversation with grunts, never looking up from their entertainment. They'll stay for an hour or so, then leave.

I have the feeling they're using our house as a "smoking room" so they won't have to stand in the cold or be away from their entertainment. My husband is going to say something soon because he's not happy and our "hints" haven't been acknowledged. Is this as rude as I think it is? -- PUFFING MAD IN MAINE

DEAR PUFFING MAD: Yes, it is. Although you and your neighbors are all smokers, it appears you have little else in common. You say your husband is going to say something "soon." I recommend he speak up the next time these people show up and "suggest" that they leave their electronic devices at home. What boors!

DEAR ABBY: In reference to "It's All Good, Until ..." (Aug. 1), the woman whose otherwise easygoing husband turns hypercritical every evening at dinner, he may have hypoglycemia (low blood sugar) or be pre-diabetic as my husband is.

My story is the same as hers. My husband is even-tempered and a great partner -- until his sugar gets low. Then he turns from Dr. Jekyll into Mr. Hyde.

My advice to her is to have a doctor check her husband for those issues. In the meantime, he might start having an afternoon protein snack so his sugar doesn't drop by dinner if that is, in fact, the problem. Peanut butter crackers are excellent. -- SOMEONE WHO KNOWS IN KNOXVILLE, TENN.

DEAR SOMEONE: Thank you for the heads-up. Dozens of readers offered similar opinions about the husband's behavior, including a registered nurse who wrote: "What's happening may be that his blood sugar or glucose is getting too low at that time and causing personality changes. ... This time of day is crucial for people with either diabetes or other insulin problems. Please suggest her husband see a doctor to have this checked."

DEAR ABBY: "Ingrid" and I have been dating for a couple of months. We're in our early 50s and both of us have been married before. We get along fine and our relationship is proceeding slowly, but appropriately.

My problem is, when we talk on the phone we don't really have a conversation. Ingrid will talk without interruption, sometimes for five minutes at a time. I can't get a word in. I can put the phone down and come back and she'll still be talking. It's not quite that bad in person, although she's still quite a talker. Often, she'll ask me a question, then interrupt me when I try to answer. It really bugs me.

It has reached a point that I don't want to talk to her on the phone. The calls can last 30 minutes or more, and I get bored and irritated. How do I address this with her without hurting her feelings or affecting our relationship? She's starting to feel my reluctance to call her back. -- GETTING AN EARFUL IN ARIZONA

DEAR GETTING AN EARFUL: If Ingrid is starting to feel your reluctance to return her calls, I'm guessing she has found a way to let you know. This is your opening for a truth session with your lady friend in which you explain how those phone monologues -- notice I didn't say "conversations" -- make you feel.

What she's doing is rude. The cause may be nervousness, thoughtlessness, or that she's a compulsive talker. If she cares about you, she will want to know if she's doing something that's making you back away. Being honest with her is the only way to get this fixed, if the problem is fixable. At your ages, lifelong habits may not be easy to break.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter, the mother of six children, has left her husband and is now involved in a three-way with a man and woman. She has not shielded her kids from these "new friends," as she calls them. Because I won't let her "friends" come along, she refuses to visit me.

I love my daughter, but I consider this relationship to be sick, and I hate that she's exposing her children to these people. Am I wrong to tell her to leave her bedroom activity out of the picture and visit me for just a day without them? We were always very close, but no more. -- DISTRESSED MIDWESTERN GRANNY

DEAR DISTRESSED: I'm sure you love your daughter, but sometimes the way we phrase things can get in the way of the message we are trying to convey. Perhaps if you invited her to visit "because you love her and would like to spend some mother-daughter time with her," it would be perceived as less judgmental and more welcoming.

She may be reluctant to spend time alone with you because she knows it will result in a lecture from you about her lifestyle. Remember, she's an adult woman and can make decisions about her sex life for herself. While you and I may think it's unwise for her to expose her children to this triad, that message might be more appropriate coming from their father, rather than her mother.

DEAR ABBY: For the past few months I have been dating a man I'll call "Barry." This is my first relationship in five years and we get along well.

When we first met, I was physically attracted to Barry for many reasons, but in particular because he had a gorgeous beard. A beard is kind of important for me. Some women like tall men, others like long hair. I'm a "beard woman."

The problem is, Barry has told me I ogle any beard I see (not true). And he now gets annoyed if I look at or compliment his beard. A few days ago, he shaved it off.

I care about Barry, but I'm not as attracted to him when he's clean-shaven. I think he did it as an act of defiance. How can I get him to understand that I don't ogle every beard I see, and convince him to keep his whiskers without hurting his ego? -- FUZZ-LOVING IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR FUZZ-LOVING: Barry may have shaved the beard as "an act of defiance" -- or not. He may have done it because it was uncomfortably hot or itchy, and he prefers being clean-shaven. My advice is to ask him -- in a non-hostile way -- why he got rid of it.

Many people think that the person behind a beard is what's most important. However, if you're not one of them, because he's no longer willing to wear one, you may have to look elsewhere for a furry friend.

DEAR ABBY: I am at a loss about what to tell certain friends and family members about my job. I work in the adult industry to put myself through college, and I'm having a hard time finding a lie I can stick to. While I am not ashamed of what I do, I certainly can't tell my grandfather. This puts me in the awkward predicament of having to be dishonest with someone I love. Do you have any advice? -- LIVING A DOUBLE LIFE

DEAR LIVING: Yes. Because lying to your friends and relatives makes you uncomfortable, consider some other way to pay for your education.