DEAR ABBY: A former colleague recently moved nearby and sent us an invitation to dinner at her new residence. She lives in an area that's populated by wild peacocks, which she knew before she moved there.

A condition of her invitation is that we (my spouse and I) agree to use a type of high-powered water gun to shoot at the peacocks from her balcony while we are visiting. I understand that these birds can be messy (I assume from their droppings). However, we find conditioning the visit upon our willingness to shoot water at the birds disconcerting.

Because we find this activity distasteful, should we decline and state why, or accept but make clear that we won't participate in the fowl-watering activity? How does one handle this tactfully? -- NO FOWL PLAY IN FLORIDA

DEAR NO FOWL PLAY: Because your former colleague invited you with the expressed understanding her guests will be expected to "fowl-water," which would make you uncomfortable, politely decline the invitation. If you feel you must pass judgment on shooting at the peacocks, all you need to say is you prefer not to shoot at any creature that can't defend itself.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 30 years and have no children. Now in my mid-50s, I realize what a negative force my husband has been in my life.

I was not allowed to have children, and over the years I have lost all family and most friends because he didn't like anyone. He constantly badmouths the town we live in -- it's my hometown -- and any interests I have. He hasn't worked in 10 years since closing his business.

I wake up every morning with the thought of just trying to make it through one more day. I am a shell of the person I once was, and don't know where to turn. Please help. -- NAMELESS IN THE USA

DEAR NAMELESS: Get out of the house and out of isolation. Volunteering in your community will give you an escape from your husband's negativity and an opportunity to meet others who are involved in positive activities. He won't like it, but do it anyway. If you do, it will save your sanity.

DEAR ABBY: At a wedding reception I attended recently, the mother of the bride gave a sales pitch for her insurance company. She concluded with the statement that she would now be able to write this off on her taxes.

Was this legitimate? She had numerous clients there, as well as prospective ones, and gifts with corporate logos for them stashed in the bathroom. -- TAKEN ABACK IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR TAKEN ABACK: Talk about a "marriage of convenience." How unbelievably tacky! Actually, my tax experts tell me that she's not entitled to write the reception off because the predominant motive of the occasion was not business. Let's hope the IRS doesn't get wind of it.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 21-year-old woman from the Philippines. I have been insecure all my life. I know I have a pretty face, but I have a lot of scars on my legs from childhood. Because of this I am depressed, unhappy and insecure. I never wear shorts, skirts or dresses that show my legs.

Do you think there is some guy somewhere who will love me despite my scars? I'm well aware that guys like sexy ladies with flawless skin. I hate the way my legs look, and I doubt I will ever find a husband. Please help me. -- INSECURE LADY

DEAR INSECURE: Please quit putting yourself down. Sometimes we women can be our most severe critics. If you stop looking for reasons men won't like you and start concentrating on why they will, you may have better luck.

Men like women who are fun to be around, who are kind, intelligent, honest and who don't play games. A man who would reject you because of scars on your legs isn't a person you need for a lasting, meaningful relationship.

DEAR ABBY: My dog got my neighbor's dog pregnant, and my neighbor kept it secret so she can sell the pups and keep all the money. I know this because her son told me so.

My dog died this week and I really want one of the puppies. I can't afford to buy one at $300. Does the family of the father of the pups have any rights? -- MISSING MY DOGGIE

DEAR MISSING YOUR DOGGIE: Pets are supposed to be spayed or neutered to prevent this sort of thing from happening. I'm sorry for the loss of your beloved dog. If the pregnancy was unplanned, the owner of the female is not obligated to provide a puppy or compensation to the owner of the male. Perhaps out of compassion your neighbor will relent and give one to you.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for more than 15 years to a man who refuses to kiss me. We kissed briefly on our wedding day (long enough to take a photo) and have not done so since then.

This past New Year's Eve instead of the traditional kiss on the lips, he gave me a kiss on the head and a peck, akin to what you'd see between close friends. He says the human mouth has many germs in it.

Abby, I dream of being kissed. I know the possibility of it happening during my marriage is close to nil. What can I do? I am well-groomed and practice good oral hygiene. -- DOING WITHOUT SOMETHING NICE IN WASHINGTON

DEAR DOING WITHOUT: It has been 15 years since you have been kissed and you're writing me about it only now? Was your courtship this way, too?

Relationships wither without affection. Your husband appears to either be germ phobic or passive aggressive. Unless he is willing to talk to a counselor about it, nothing will change. I hope he'll do it before you meet someone else under the mistletoe or at the stroke of midnight.

DEAR ABBY: I met a guy over the phone when he called my number by mistake. After a brief conversation, not particularly polite on my part, the call ended. Forty-five minutes later he called me back, saying he couldn't stop thinking about me. I thought, "Who is this goofball?"

Over time, my phone has been "pinging" with messages from him. He has sent his life story, photos and address. He even gave me his Social Security number and told me to run a check on him to see for myself that he's legitimate. We have been talking for eight months and are making plans to meet. He lives in another state, but he has a sister in mine.

Should I meet him in his hometown or let him come to me? I don't believe this is a game-playing situation. I am 55 years young; he's 64. We converse on FaceTime daily and at night we have Bible studies together via the Internet. He makes me happy. What is your opinion, and what should I do? -- SWEPT AWAY IN GEORGIA

DEAR SWEPT AWAY: Your romance seems almost like a Hallmark Channel love story -- two strangers who connect because of a wrong number. However, have him visit you first, meet your family, friends and minister. Then visit him in his hometown and meet his friends, children (if he has any), minister, etc.

Don't do this just once -- give yourself enough time to get beyond the endorphin rush. He may turn out to be Prince Charming, but a woman can never be too careful, and you need to proceed with your eyes wide open. If this becomes a successful relationship, it will be a wonderful "how did you meet?" story.

DEAR ABBY: My parents just informed me that they have not been practical about their finances. I suspected it based on the ratio of their salaries to their purchases, but it was confirmed during a conversation in which they said they have saved nothing for retirement. More disappointing, they both had advantages that would have set them financially for life had they been smart with their money.

On the other hand, I save religiously, and I'm on my way to building the retirement I want for me and my wife. I feel bad for my parents, but I can't help worrying that everything I am working for is being threatened by their poor choices and unwillingness to change how they deal with money.

When I expressed concern that I would have to support them financially at some point because of this, I was made to feel selfish because of all the sacrifices they made for me over the years. Who is wrong here? -- "BAD SON" IN BALTIMORE

DEAR SON: Your parents are, for having blown the money they should have been saving and for trying to guilt you into supporting them. (By the way, they're not alone. Many Americans in their 50s and 60s have only now awakened to the fact that they won't have enough -- or any -- money to supplement their Social Security.)

The sacrifices parents make are supposed to be done out of love, not to indenture their children. If there is still time for them to sock away some savings for when they will no longer be working, I suggest they start now. (Suze Orman says that whether you're in your 30s, 40s or 50s, it's never too late to start saving for your financial future.) As a good son, ask if they would like your help in investing it.