DEAR ABBY: I met a guy over the phone when he called my number by mistake. After a brief conversation, not particularly polite on my part, the call ended. Forty-five minutes later he called me back, saying he couldn't stop thinking about me. I thought, "Who is this goofball?"

Over time, my phone has been "pinging" with messages from him. He has sent his life story, photos and address. He even gave me his Social Security number and told me to run a check on him to see for myself that he's legitimate. We have been talking for eight months and are making plans to meet. He lives in another state, but he has a sister in mine.

Should I meet him in his hometown or let him come to me? I don't believe this is a game-playing situation. I am 55 years young; he's 64. We converse on FaceTime daily and at night we have Bible studies together via the Internet. He makes me happy. What is your opinion, and what should I do? -- SWEPT AWAY IN GEORGIA

DEAR SWEPT AWAY: Your romance seems almost like a Hallmark Channel love story -- two strangers who connect because of a wrong number. However, have him visit you first, meet your family, friends and minister. Then visit him in his hometown and meet his friends, children (if he has any), minister, etc.

Don't do this just once -- give yourself enough time to get beyond the endorphin rush. He may turn out to be Prince Charming, but a woman can never be too careful, and you need to proceed with your eyes wide open. If this becomes a successful relationship, it will be a wonderful "how did you meet?" story.

DEAR ABBY: My parents just informed me that they have not been practical about their finances. I suspected it based on the ratio of their salaries to their purchases, but it was confirmed during a conversation in which they said they have saved nothing for retirement. More disappointing, they both had advantages that would have set them financially for life had they been smart with their money.

On the other hand, I save religiously, and I'm on my way to building the retirement I want for me and my wife. I feel bad for my parents, but I can't help worrying that everything I am working for is being threatened by their poor choices and unwillingness to change how they deal with money.

When I expressed concern that I would have to support them financially at some point because of this, I was made to feel selfish because of all the sacrifices they made for me over the years. Who is wrong here? -- "BAD SON" IN BALTIMORE

DEAR SON: Your parents are, for having blown the money they should have been saving and for trying to guilt you into supporting them. (By the way, they're not alone. Many Americans in their 50s and 60s have only now awakened to the fact that they won't have enough -- or any -- money to supplement their Social Security.)

The sacrifices parents make are supposed to be done out of love, not to indenture their children. If there is still time for them to sock away some savings for when they will no longer be working, I suggest they start now. (Suze Orman says that whether you're in your 30s, 40s or 50s, it's never too late to start saving for your financial future.) As a good son, ask if they would like your help in investing it.

DEAR ABBY: I would like to weigh in on your response to "Day Care Drama in Indiana" (Sept. 1), whose neighbor screams at the children in her day care. I worked for 25 years investigating serious complaints, many involving verbal abuse, against day care providers for my state's licensing agency. It is critical for this reader to contact Indiana's licensing agency and make a complaint.

Verbal abuse is extremely damaging to young children, and parents are often reluctant to believe their provider would subject their children to such cruelty. Also, if your reader is hearing screaming, there could easily be hitting taking place as well.

If your reader were to approach the children's parents individually as you advised, they would likely discount him/her as a "cranky neighbor." However, if the licensing investigator were to pay a visit and interview the older past and present children, as we do in our state, the provider would be cited -- or closed down -- and the findings could be presented to the parents by an objective party. -- RETIRED BUT CONCERNED

DEAR RETIRED BUT CONCERNED: Thank you for correcting me. Many readers agreed that this situation should be reported immediately to the agency that monitors day care centers. To remain silent and allow the abuse to continue would also be child abuse.

Many also suggested contacting Child Protective Services and afterward following up to make sure this issue has been investigated. If not, the local police should then be notified.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating "Brenda" for three months. For the most part it has been amazing. I know she's the woman I want to marry and be with for the rest of my life.

I would do anything for her, which is why I'm having a hard time. We had a great sexual relationship until a week ago, when she decided she wants to wait until we are married to have sex again. For me, sex is an extremely important part of a relationship. I feel close to Brenda physically and emotionally through sex. Now that she's refusing, I don't feel as close to her.

Brenda cites her religious faith and setting an example for her kids as the reasons she now wants to wait. I'm having a hard time understanding her point of view and am looking for guidance from you on coping with the loss of something so valuable to me. Obviously, I am willing to wait until marriage, but how do I deal with this until then? -- DISAPPOINTED IN RENO

DEAR DISAPPOINTED: If you are confused about your lady friend's "180," I think you're justified. If her religious beliefs prevented her from having sex before marriage, she wouldn't have jumped the gun -- and I'm assuming the two of you weren't making love in front of her children. Her change in behavior may be an attempt to hasten the date of your wedding.

However, because you no longer feel as close to her, put on the brakes and start premarital counseling. The first subject on the agenda should be a frank discussion about sex and what it means to both of you. It will help you understand each other better before you commit for a lifetime, because three months isn't very long for a couple to date, and you really don't know Brenda very well yet.

DEAR ABBY: Halloween is around the corner, and my 7-year-old daughter has decided to be a cowgirl. She wants the boots, the hat and the gun.

Is it appropriate to let her have a holster and an obviously toy gun to accessorize her costume for trick-or-treating? She would not be taking that part of her costume to school on Halloween. I live in a part of the country where guns are an important part of our culture, but I am unsure how to proceed. -- CONFUSED ABOUT HALLOWEEN IN MONTANA

DEAR CONFUSED: Guns may be an important part of the culture where you live, but how do you feel about them? If it's all right with you, and the weapon your child carries is obviously a toy, then there should be no problem as you take her from house to house collecting her goodies. But there is nothing wrong with a 7-year-old cowgirl not having a gun and holster as part of her costume. If you need verification, have her check out the character Jessie in the movie "Toy Story 2."

P.S. Having her not take a toy gun to school is wise because many schools have strict policies about weapons -- including toy weapons -- being brought on campus.

DEAR ABBY: A female acquaintance recently asked me to submit a reference letter for her in order to help her in a custody battle with her ex-husband. She had problems with drugs and alcohol in the past, but has been sober for more than a year now. She wants the recommendation letter to reflect how much she has changed for the better.

I didn't know her a year ago and didn't witness the change. Also, from what little I have seen, her parenting skills are questionable at best. How do I proceed? Ignoring her request isn't an option because she has asked multiple times. -- ACQUAINTANCE IN GEORGIA

DEAR ACQUAINTANCE: Tell your acquaintance a version of what you have told me, that you're not comfortable writing the letter because you have known her only a relatively short time and haven't witnessed how far she has come. It's honest. (Do not mention that you think her parenting skills are lacking if you would like to maintain the relationship.)

DEAR ABBY: I often shop at a convenience store on the corner for various things. It is run by two men I see fairly often, but rarely talk to. I would like to thank them for being available nearly every hour of the week, year-round. How can I appropriately show my thanks?

I think supporting their business might be the best way, but I'm not sure what else to do other than simply continue buying from them. Do you have any advice? -- APPRECIATIVE IN ALBANY, N.Y.

DEAR APPRECIATIVE: I believe that if people have something nice to say, they shouldn't keep it inside. Tell the men their efforts are appreciated. I'm sure they'll be pleased to know their hard work is recognized. Other than that, mention it to others who live in the area. It's good publicity for the store, and it might increase their business.