DEAR ABBY: I have been seeing "Tony" for a few weeks. He is kind, caring and will make a great boyfriend, husband and father someday. My problem with him is he thinks I'm a "status digger." (It's similar to a gold digger, but he means I care only about someone's standing in the community.) His rationale is based on my friendships.

I come from a privileged background. While some acquaintances in my circle are spoiled and superficial, my close friends and I are not. Because I grew up here, it was only natural I'd date guys from a similar background. While I was not opposed to dating outside my social circle, the opportunity never presented itself.

Abby, I have never measured a guy because of his position in society. The thought never occurred to me. I admit I would probably be more inclined to date someone from a similar background because that's what I'm familiar with, but I don't think this makes me a social climber, status digger or elitist.

How should I address this with Tony? I'm afraid our relationship will end if he can't see me for who I really am. -- JUST ME IN HOUSTON

DEAR JUST ME: Tony may come from a blue-collar background. Because he perceives you and your friends as having had so much given to you, he may feel inadequate, so he's putting you on the defensive by accusing you of being solely interested in social status. Of course, that's stereotyping, and it isn't fair to you. Because someone comes from inherited status/wealth there is no guarantee that it won't disappear. That's the reason some women prefer self-made men to those from a privileged background.

You and Tony should have a frank talk. When you do, suggest that before he assumes any more preconceptions about you are true, he should get to know you -- because if he doesn't, he will miss out on someone who is not only very nice, but who thinks he has a lot to offer.

DEAR ABBY: When I was in my 20s, I was involved in a long-term relationship with a married man. I became pregnant, we ended the relationship and I gave birth to an amazing, intelligent and well-adjusted son, "Kyle." There has been no contact with my former lover, and we have no mutual acquaintances.

Now that Kyle is an adult, he has expressed an interest in contacting his father. He is curious, but doesn't want to disrupt his father's life. Kyle doesn't feel he missed out by not meeting his father; he simply wonders what he is like. The man is easy to locate on social media because he has an unusual last name.

I don't want to see my son hurt by rejection or lack of interest from this man. Should I make the initial contact? If so, what would be the best way to do it? -- PROTECTIVE MOM IN TENNESSEE

DEAR PROTECTIVE MOM: Your impulse may be to protect your son, but Kyle should make the contact. When he does, he should tell the man that you are his mother, and that he would like to meet him for no other reason than to ask him some questions and get his medical history. The response Kyle gets will tell him a lot about the man who fathered him. But there is no guarantee that a man who never provided financial support for his son will be receptive, compassionate or polite, and your son should be prepared.

DEAR ABBY: My fiance, "Derrick," and I have been engaged for almost a year. The whole time we've been together he has been overseas. While he has many of the characteristics I look for in a man, he isn't as down-to-earth as I'd like him to be.

He's now back in the U.S. for good, and we are living together. Derrick's a great father to his children, a good provider, intelligent, handsome and we have a lot in common. I love his family. But for a few months now I have been rethinking my decision to marry him.

I feel like I can't be myself around him without him judging me or making facial expressions. I have tried telling him how I feel, but I always end up hurting his feelings or he ends up pointing the finger at me.

He's the best person I have ever met, but I'm not deeply in love with him. He doesn't bring out the best in me and I don't know what to do. How should I handle this situation without breaking our engagement? -- MS. ENGAGED IN FLORIDA

DEAR MS. ENGAGED: You and Derrick might be able to communicate more effectively if you had premarital counseling. However, if it doesn't resolve your issues, do not marry him, regardless of how handsome he is or what a good provider you think he will be.

To have a successful marriage, you will have to be yourself -- and you and Derrick should bring out the best in each other. With help, you may be able to save the relationship. But if counseling doesn't work, do both of you a favor and become Ms. dis-engaged.

DEAR ABBY: My parents split up in 1987. They have just started dating again. What is the likelihood of them remarrying? They are in their 70s.

My concern is, what if they break up? I guess I shouldn't worry and just appreciate the time I have with them as a new couple starting out again. Are these normal concerns? -- SWEET, CARING DAUGHTER, SUNNYSIDE, WASH.

DEAR CARING DAUGHTER: Of course your concerns are normal. You love your folks and don't want either of them to be hurt if the romance goes off the tracks (again). Because you can't control what happens next, cross your fingers and hope for a happy outcome. Your parents seem to have a strong connection, and they're old enough to know what they're doing. Que sera, sera.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have an ongoing disagreement about food. When there is special food in the house, something we both like, he feels free to eat as much of it as he wants and not leave any for me.

His argument is that if it's around -- even if it's frozen -- I would have had "plenty of time to get my share." I don't think it should be up to him to tell me how much to eat and when.

It's particularly upsetting if I have invested hours in preparing a dish only to find that it's gone when I want my second helping. I feel he is being inconsiderate. Am I wrong? -- WHERE'S MY BEEF?

DEAR WHERE'S: I don't think so. Your husband is behaving like a greedy child. If you're cooking in large quantities, try this: Prepare only enough for two portions for a while -- a long while.

DEAR ABBY: I have a serious problem that's consuming my life. I know people say you never really get over your first love, but I don't know why after six years I still think about my ex on a daily basis.

Abby, I am happily married. My husband is the perfect man for me -- understanding, sweet and patient. My ex, "Chad," cheated on me with other women and recently married the one who effectively ended our relationship.

I thought I had moved on, but I can't seem to stop thinking about him. My ex and I had a strong chemistry -- not just a physical one -- that my husband and I don't. Somehow I wonder if, while my husband is the man of my dreams, Chad was my true soul mate.

I don't want to jeopardize my marriage because of a lurking shadow from my past. How do I get over this and move on? -- DESPERATE FOR ADVICE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR DESPERATE: Old habits are hard to break, and sometimes memories do linger to the point of being intrusive. While it can be frustrating, this is not an indication that someone who cheated on you multiple times was your "soul mate." If you had been meant to be together forever, you would still be together. Consider yourself lucky that another woman freed you from that unhealthy relationship so you could find the man you married.

What you may miss is tension, drama, uncertainty and pain, and that's not love. The sooner you quit idealizing your ex, the more clearly you will recognize this. And if the unwanted thoughts persist, consult a therapist because your problem is not unique.

DEAR ABBY: While I was growing up, my parents taught me and my siblings to always keep a year's salary (pre-taxes) in a savings account that one never touches.

The problem is my bride and I feel that we're ready to buy a home, although we don't have enough in our joint savings to make a down payment. She feels I should use my savings to make the down payment.

I don't feel right about it because this savings technique has saved me twice in my life. Once when I was a child and my parents lost their jobs, and again when I lost my job in the recession. Am I selfish for wanting to keep my savings off limits? -- MR. SAVINGS

DEAR MR. SAVINGS: No. I happen to agree with your fiscally conservative philosophy. You learned from experience how important an emergency fund can be. Because buying a home is not an emergency, wait until you and your wife have saved enough for the down payment. Also, because the money in that savings account was yours before marriage, it may not be a joint asset, and it could save you a third time if you don't spend it.

DEAR ABBY: My stepdaughter, age 18, has recently begun to send her father text messages while we are in the same room, rather than speak to him. It's as if she doesn't want me in on the conversation. I find her behavior rude.

If they need to speak privately, so be it -- she can wait until I'm out of the room or request to speak to him elsewhere. But I find it impolite of her to send him texts. They are nothing confidential in nature, just general conversation.

What are your thoughts on this? -- BYSTANDER IN NEW YORK

DEAR BYSTANDER: What your stepdaughter is doing is as rude as when two people whisper to each other in front of a third person. My thought is that your husband, out of consideration for your feelings, should either tell her -- or text her -- to cut it out.