DEAR ABBY: I'm a teenage girl who is frustrated with my family. I am the middle child, and it seems like my parents prefer my brother and sister over me. I am constantly in trouble for things they have done, and my parents are aware that they did.

When I try to express my feelings, nobody will listen. Several times I have almost committed suicide or run away. I am lost and I don't know what to do. Please help me. -- NOWHERE IN INDIANA

DEAR NOWHERE: When a person cries out in pain and feels she (or he) isn't heard, it can be doubly painful. But suicide or running away is not the answer. What you need to do is explain to an adult -- an aunt, uncle, school counselor or close family friend -- how you are feeling, so that person can intercede on your behalf with your parents, who may not realize what they're doing and the effect it's having on you.

DEAR ABBY: How long is too long to wait when it comes to hearing the highly anticipated phrase, "I love you"? My boyfriend and I have been dating for eight months. We have been through a lot together during this time, and his actions suggest that he loves me. When I finally asked him why he hasn't said it to me, he said, "Why haven't you said it?" "I want it to happen naturally," and, "Just be patient with me."

We get along amazingly well. We have a wonderful time every time we see each other (which is almost every day), and he has told me he can see a future with me. Am I wrong for thinking I deserve to hear the "L" word at this point, or am I rushing things? I don't understand why he is so reluctant to say it, and his reluctance makes me think maybe he just doesn't love me. -- STILL WAITING IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR STILL WAITING: Not all men are comfortable expressing their emotions verbally. Actions speak louder than words. Many men have told women they "love" them, only to have their behavior prove otherwise.

That your boyfriend has given you three different answers to your question indicates to me that you may have been pushing him to say it. I would caution you against that because it could push him away. Hearing the words "I love you" isn't something a person "deserves." It's important that the words be genuine.

DEAR ABBY: When I approach someone to hug, is there a correct side to go for? Does a relative or friend have a bearing on your choice, or does it matter if it's a man or woman or how well you know them? Is the left side as good as the right side? -- WHICH SIDE? IN OHIO

DEAR WHICH SIDE: Hugging anyone you don't know well is a mistake because some people have an aversion to intimate contact with strangers. That said, I don't think it matters a lot which side you "go for" -- although I have heard some people bear to the left because that way their hearts are closer together. Personally, I tend to feint to the left because I'm left-handed -- but that's just me.

DEAR ABBY: I am an adult heterosexual male who has discovered that I like wearing nail polish. I feel it should not be a matter of gender, but of taste and fashion.

I wore a reasonably bold color in public for the first time a week before last. It was a light, metallic blue that changes to green in the sunlight. I got a few raised eyebrows and a few compliments in my conservative, small town. I was told, however, to leave the color red to the ladies.

I know some companies are already marketing nail color for men, and I hope nail decor for both genders will one day become mainstream. I want to help that process along. What do you think, Abby? -- SHOWIN' MY TRUE COLORS IN TEXAS

DEAR SHOWIN': Although over the last few years I have seen males wear nail polish, it was usually a very dark color and the wearer was a rock star or a Goth. Frankly, I think that for an adult heterosexual male to wear light blue nail polish in public in the great state of Texas shows he is not only a trendsetter, but also has a lot of guts.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 38-year-old woman who divorced four years ago. I'm educated, attractive and have a successful career. My 18-year-old son lives with me and attends a junior college.

I am having a hard time finding romance because most of the men want to survive on my income, or are put off that I have a son at home.

I recently met a guy who seems to be head over heels in love with me. He has had little education and abused drugs and alcohol for a long time, but he has changed now. He has three children, but because he is unemployed, he's exempt from paying alimony, and he is fine with the idea. He'd like to have them on weekends, but the mother won't allow it.

Should I go ahead and date him? He doesn't seem to mind that I have a child, but my intuition tells me he may be another fortune hunter. How can I find a suitable partner without appearing desperate? -- LONELY LADY IN AMSTERDAM, NETHERLANDS

DEAR LONELY LADY: Listen to your intuition and end this relationship now unless you want to support this man in perpetuity. The longer you're involved, the harder it will be to end it, so don't procrastinate.

It's time to widen your circle of acquaintances. Meet colleagues in your field through conferences and seminars. Develop new interests and you will meet more people. Volunteer with charities that interest you and you will meet worthwhile members of both sexes who may introduce you to an unattached friend or relative.

Above all, don't succumb to desperation. You have much to offer and a lot of life ahead of you. Follow my suggestions and your chances of finding what you're looking for will improve.

DEAR ABBY: About two years ago, a close female friend, "Carla," had her first child. The biological father is from another country. When she told him she was pregnant, he refused to have anything to do with the child, so I decided to take over the role as a father.

I have been with Carla and my son since she found out about the pregnancy. When she was in her last trimester, we decided to give a shot to the relationship and become a couple. Everything was great. She had our child. When he was born, I really became a father. But after two years, everything didn't go as we planned and we broke up.

Now Carla says I'm not the father, and she won't give my son my last name. I don't know what to do. I really want him to be known as my son, but without my last name, everyone sees me only as the guy who is raising another guy's son.

The breakup took a huge toll on me. During our last fight, she said I should forget about being the father and accept that I'm only the godfather. Please tell me what I can do. -- SAD DAD IN EL SALVADOR

DEAR SAD DAD: There's a saying, "No good deed goes unpunished," and I think it applies to you. You appear to be a wonderful, loving person, and I can see how emotionally wrenching this has been for you.

However, the legal father of that little boy is the person whose name is on the birth certificate. While you have loved Carla's child and have assumed the role of father, legally you may not be. A lawyer can explain this to you, and tell you if you have any options other than being a positive, stable, masculine presence in the child's life. But I suspect the mother's wishes will prevail.

DEAR ABBY: Recently a friend of mine went to a ritzy gala. When dinner was served, she closed her eyes and said a brief and quiet prayer. When she opened them, the people at her table were appalled. One guest admonished her, telling her she shouldn't pray out of respect for others.

Was she wrong? What's the proper etiquette? Should she stop saying her grace? -- GRACE BEFORE DINNER

DEAR GRACE: As long as your friend said her prayer quietly and didn't impose it upon the other attendees, she did nothing wrong. Actually, the rule of etiquette is to refrain from criticizing the table manners of other guests -- and the person who admonished your friend was rude.

DEAR ABBY: I met this beautiful woman online. We have been dating for a few months, and I really don't care for her natural hairstyle and the scarves/headgear she wears when we're together. I have tiptoed around the issue. What should I do? -- BACHELOR IN GEORGIA

DEAR BACHELOR: Hair can be a sensitive issue with women. A natural hairdo is a lot healthier than coloring, perming or straightening, all of which involve products that can damage hair. Hats and scarves are a quick solution when a woman feels she's having a bad hair day. My advice to you is to accept her just the way she is -- unless you want to risk losing her.