DEAR ABBY: You missed the chance to communicate a life-or-death message to your readers when you answered a letter from an "Ohio Grandma" (July 14).

Your reply understated the importance of storing medications properly and safely. What if the grandmother had placed a loaded gun on the desk instead of medications? Both can produce just as deadly a result.

And why didn't those meds have safety lids? Putting them in a suitcase is not enough. They should be stored out of reach, preferably secured with a safety lock. Or better yet, the parents should be told you have dangerous substances with you -- and asked where you can store them. -- MOM OF A TODDLER IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR MOM: I was scolded for not placing more emphasis on the safety issue. However, the question I was asked was, "Are we obligated to help with more of the medical expenses (for the ER visit) because we have already helped (contributed several hundred dollars) and I don't think it's our job to teach our grandchild boundaries?" So that was the issue on which I focused. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: You dropped the ball. No 3-year-old will respect a closed door all of the time. Grandma and Grandpa are responsible for the safe-keeping of their meds while in the child's and even the grandparents' home. Bottles that rattle and pretty colors in a bottle that look like candy will attract any little kid. Grandma and Grandpa should be happy they aren't helping to pay for a funeral instead of an ER visit. Here are the "rules":

1. All medications should be in kid-proof containers.

2. All medications and OTC drugs should be kept out of a curious child's climbing area.

3. Poison Control numbers should be posted on the fridge.

4. Use the original container (not one of those daily dosage containers) and know how many pills are in it. Be sure you know the name, strength and dosage for each medication. Just telling the hospital that it's for "blood pressure" doesn't tell them what it is or how to treat an overdose.

5. Never tell the kids that medication is candy!

6. You are the adult. Don't expect any child -- or teen -- to respect your private property when it comes to medication. -- MESQUITE, TEXAS, GRANDMA

DEAR ABBY: "Ohio Grandma's" story of an emergency room visit for suspected medication poisoning is all too common. In 2011, 67,700 toddlers were seen for accidental medication exposure. Of these, 12,390 required hospitalization. Children 13 to 24 months of age accounted for 68 percent of these visits. In ER visits where information was obtained, 38 percent involved grandparents' medications, 31 percent the mother's medications, 12 percent a sibling's, 8 percent the father's and 5 percent an aunt's or uncle's medication.

Family members must take precautions to keep their meds out of children's hands. I keep mine under lock and key with the key in my possession whenever I visit my grandchildren.

While I agree with you that children should be taught boundaries and to respect the possessions of others, I believe we have a responsibility to provide a safe environment, especially when we are visiting or when children are visiting us. The consequences of failing to do that can be tragic. -- PEDIATRICIAN AND GRANDMOTHER IN MAINE

DEAR ABBY: Last year I found a bottle of Valtrex in my husband's car. He had been taking the medicine for months.

When I asked him about it, he lied. I was devastated when I realized I had been exposed to herpes. He actually tried to say he got it from me, but later he admitted that he had been stepping out with random women while working out of town. (He's a truck driver.) I had a blood test and thankfully I didn't catch it.

What is the doctor's responsibility in informing the spouse? I'm sure my ex is going to sleep around and infect others. We are divorced now, so I'm free of his lying and cheating, but I am fearful for others. He's so lowdown that he will spread it to other women and not care. Should I be concerned, or should I just leave it alone since he's not my problem anymore? -- HEARTBROKEN IN ALABAMA

DEAR HEARTBROKEN: Unless your husband gave his physician permission to reveal his medical status to you, the doctor was bound by HIPAA regulations, and by law could not warn you that your husband had an STD. (Yes, I agree this aspect of the law is disgusting.)

Much as you might wish to, there's nothing you can do to control your former spouse's behavior. My doctor tells me that herpes is most contagious during an outbreak. The risk is far less when the person is not shedding the virus. Valtrex further decreases the chances of spreading it, although it's still possible.

If the result of the blood test you were given was negative, then you have never been exposed. However, if you have any symptoms, such as itching or swollen lymph nodes in your groin, you should let your OB/GYN know right away.

DEAR ABBY: My 57-year-old sister has had many career problems. She's well-educated, personable, professional and punctual, but she quits or is let go from one job after another within weeks because "it wasn't a good fit." She seems to be holding out for what she had 25 years ago -- a well-paying position supervising clerks. But jobs like that don't exist anymore.

She's excellent at working with small children and the elderly and has significant experience doing so, but she believes such jobs are "beneath" her. I'm her only close relative, and I'm afraid she'll eventually turn to me for financial support -- something my husband and I cannot afford to provide. What can I do or say to make her realize that a steady job is what she really needs for the next 10 years? -- SENSIBLE SIB IN ARIZONA

DEAR SENSIBLE SIB: Tell your sister exactly what you have written to me: "Sis, what you need is a steady job for the next 10 years, because if you're counting on support from me, I'm telling you now my husband and I can't afford to give it to you." It's short, sweet, and it may be the wake-up call she needs before it's too late.

DEAR ABBY: How can I convince my aging, sick sister-in-law that her feeble husband's care is too much for her at this point? She can barely care for herself, yet she must help him eat, get out of chairs -- everything short of chew his food for him. I have tried telling her she deserves respite care of some kind, to no avail.

Have you any ideas how I can convince her she is literally killing herself and deserves some assistance? Their three daughters are no help at all to them. They turn a blind eye from their parents' situation. -- RELATIVE WHO CARES IN OHIO

DEAR RELATIVE: I can think of a few things you might do to help. The first would be to talk to the daughters and explain your concerns for their mother's health -- because if she doesn't get some respite care, she could die before their father does. Be sure to point out that if that happens, their father's care would become their responsibility. When they realize the effect it would have on their own lives, it might motivate them to do something.

The second would be to do some research and see what options are available for part-time caregivers or senior day care centers where her husband would be safe and looked after while your sister-in-law has a few precious hours to herself. The man's doctor could guide you.

Then have a frank talk with her and explain that for her to be as effective a caregiver as she obviously wants to be, she's going to have to take better care of herself because the track she's on right now could cost her her own health or even her life, and that's no exaggeration.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 29-year-old single man who is hard of hearing. I have a steady job and plans for a good future, but I'm having trouble in the dating world.

I would love to have a special someone in my life, but I'm shy. I have a hard time talking with the girls who live in my area. I can hear people pretty well unless they mumble or talk quietly, or face away from me when they speak.

I have asked people to repeat what they say (I try not to do it often) if I missed something. They get frustrated and so do I, and then they say, "Never mind!"

I try so hard to hear people. But it seems the harder I try, the less it seems worth it to find a relationship. Any tips on dealing with impatient and non-understanding people? -- FRUSTRATED IN WISCONSIN

DEAR FRUSTRATED: As people age, many of them encounter the problem you are trying to cope with now at your young age. Hearing loss is difficult because it is often subtle and can be extremely isolating for the person who has it.

My first tip would be to avoid noisy places for meeting women, if you can. My second would be to be upfront about your hearing loss right off the bat. If a woman finds you attractive, she will find ways to accommodate the problem. And if she doesn't, then she wasn't the right candidate for a relationship in the first place.