DEAR ABBY: What are the ethics in outing a cheater? Someone I know has been cheated on by her boyfriend for two years -- about as long as she has been with him. I know this because the woman he has been cheating with is someone I know.
Last week, I told the girl her boyfriend has been cheating. Now I am suddenly a pariah and outcast. I felt she had the right to know, but was I wrong? Should I not have told her? -- ANNOYED IN CHICAGO
DEAR ANNOYED: In this age of social diseases, I don't think it's wrong to tell someone that a boyfriend/girlfriend is cheating so he or she can be tested. However, as you have discovered, doing it is risky.
There's a saying, "Don't shoot the messenger," that's been around forever. It implies that a person who delivers unwelcome news will be blamed for it. While you and I would want to be told that we were being betrayed, obviously, your former friend didn't, which is why you're being punished.