DEAR ABBY: I was engaged several years ago, but the engagement didn't last. We broke up and I gave him back his ring. We remain close friends, however, and hang out at least once a week.

I have been dating another guy for a couple of years, and we're thinking about getting engaged. I am wondering if it would be improper to ask my ex if we could buy my old ring from him. It was -- and still is -- my "dream ring," and I know my ex has kept it in the glove box of his car ever since I gave it back to him.

I don't want to commit a faux pas, but it seems silly to buy another identical ring. What do you think? -- HEADED DOWN THE AISLE

DEAR HEADED DOWN THE AISLE: If you haven't discussed this with your current boyfriend, you should. It might bother him to see you wearing an engagement ring that was given to you by someone else. If he says it's OK, I can't see why you shouldn't ask your former fiance if he'd be willing to part with it. Frankly, he might be glad to get the money.

DEAR ABBY: I have a love problem I could use your help with. I go to college, and I met an amazing girl, "Lorena," here. She's very religious, which I like about her. We have been talking, but I'm afraid to ask her out. I don't have the best morals, and I'm afraid I would corrupt her if we did go out. I don't want to make her into something she isn't.

Should I let her be who she is, or take the risk of dating her and hope she'll be happy? When I think about Lorena, I realize I'd do anything for her -- even change my life. Please tell me what to do. -- WILD MAN IN KENT, OHIO

DEAR WILD MAN: Feeling as you do about Lorena, I think you should take the risk and ask her out. Because you would do "anything" for her, make it your top priority not to push her into anything you know wouldn't be good for her. You wouldn't be the first "wild man" to meet someone who made him want to be a better man. I wish you luck.

DEAR ABBY: I am a woman in my 50s. My sister, who is also in her 50s, lives with me and has for several years. Could you please settle a dispute we are having?

She says that mail is private and when I bring my mail in from the mailbox, I should leave hers in the box. I say it is just common courtesy to bring all of it in at once and place it in a predetermined spot for the recipient. I am not saying that mail is not private, because it is. And I would never dream of opening anyone's mail, but don't you have to look at the envelope to know which person it belongs to?

So what do you think? Should it be left in the box or should I bring it all in? -- STUMPED SISTER IN HOUSTON

DEAR SISTER: I think what you have been doing is both wise and prudent. Unless the mailbox has a lock on it, I would recommend bringing all the mail into the house as soon as possible after it's delivered to prevent theft. However, because your sister is sensitive about it and asked that you leave it in the box for her to retrieve, you should do as she has requested.

DEAR ABBY: My teenaged daughter will be giving birth soon, and she has decided to place her baby for adoption. I have told her that whatever she decides, I will support her decision.

Here is the difficult part: This will still be my biological grandchild. When this beautiful child is lovingly handed over to the adoptive parents, I will be losing a grandchild. I am already in mourning.

Are there other grandparents out there who are going -- or have gone -- through this, and how are they coping? I already see a therapist, but I would still like to know how others are coping. -- UN-GRANDPARENT IN OHIO

DEAR UN-GRANDPARENT: I wish you had told me more about the kind of adoption your daughter has chosen for her baby. If it is an open adoption in which she will be kept informed about the child's milestones and progress, ask the adoptive couple if they would welcome you as an "extra" grandparent for the child. If I hear from others who have gone through this process, I will let you know, because I'm sure they will write to help you through your heartache.

DEAR ABBY: I am being married to the man of my dreams next month. "Jon" and I love each other and are excited to celebrate our life as husband and wife together with our families and friends.

I have a 6-year-old daughter from a previous relationship, and after talking to her, she told me she would like to walk me down the aisle instead of being our flower girl. I love the idea, and so does Jon.

I will have to talk to my dad about it, because I know he was looking forward to it although we do not have a close relationship. I have lived on my own since I was 17. How do I communicate to him in an appropriate way that my daughter, who has been my family for the past six years, will walk me down the aisle and not him? -- CONFUSED BRIDE-TO-BE

DEAR CONFUSED: Because you aren't close to your father, this may not come as a shock to him. However, if he was asked to walk you down the aisle, he may be very hurt and it could cause a rift.

Be as diplomatic as possible when you break the news. Start by saying, "I was talking about the wedding with little 'Jennifer,' and she came up with an idea Jon and I think is adorable. Instead of being our flower girl, she wants to walk me down the aisle. We feel it would bring our little family even closer together. I hope you don't mind...."

DEAR ABBY: My husband has a low-paying job and I am trying to see that he gets a better one, but each step I take he regards as pestering him. This has driven us apart from each other. It really hurts me because we are now like strangers living together. What do I do? -- SAD WIFE IN ABUJA, NIGERIA

DEAR SAD WIFE: Change tactics. What you consider helpful encouragement may be regarded by your husband as constant nagging about a sore subject. Tell him you love him, didn't mean to pressure him -- and if you see some ads seeking men with his skills that offer a higher salary, let him know about them. That's what I would do.

DEAR ABBY: My future son-in-law recently moved in with us for financial reasons. He's 27 and a nice guy, but he's a habitual knuckle-cracker. He cracks every finger of each hand twice (back and forth) every half-hour or so. He also cracks his neck and wrists, but less frequently. As an added bonus, my daughter is also beginning to crack her knuckles now.

I am sensitive to noise (loud chewing, gum cracking), but I don't want to cause him more stress (he's also a nail-biter), so I keep my mouth shut. It's driving me crazy! What do you suggest? -- PATTY IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR PATTY: Knuckle-cracking, like nail-biting, is a nervous habit that has been known to defuse anxiety. While it may be crazy-making to listen to, unless it's a symptom of an underlying nervous disorder, the practice is relatively harmless. (In some people, it has caused swelling of the joints or swelling of the hands, so mention that to your daughter.)

Because you are sensitive to noises -- which your daughter should already know -- talk to her and her fiance and ask that when the impulse strikes, they walk out of earshot. Because they are living under your roof, they should respect your request.

DEAR ABBY: I married my husband more than a year ago, and I want a child more than anything in the world. We have been trying since our wedding, but every month I get depressed when I find out I'm not pregnant.

Everyone says I shouldn't think about it, and I try not to. But I am becoming more and more depressed with each month that passes. Do you have any advice for dealing with these feelings? Or something I can occupy my time with rather than obsessing? (It sure isn't helping the situation!) -- ANXIOUS IN FLORIDA

DEAR ANXIOUS: What everyone is telling you is far less important than what your OB/GYN has to say about your situation. Because you have been married for a year without being able to conceive, both you and your husband should be talking to doctors. You may have a correctable condition that prevents you from becoming pregnant, or he may have a low sperm count. Distraction isn't what you need right now; what you need are answers.

DEAR ABBY: I have a small home-based business making baking extracts that I sell at our local farmers' market. Occasionally, a patron will look over my stock and ask me how I make them. I am unsure how to answer the question in a way that won't have a negative impact on future sales.

Baking extracts are not difficult to make, but the process is time-consuming and the ingredients are expensive. I don't want to give away the details of my production process, yet I don't know how to say so without seeming rude. Any ideas? -- PERPLEXED IN THE EAST

DEAR PERPLEXED: Smile at the questioner and reply, "That would be giving away trade secrets -- but I can share one of them: I make them all with love."