DEAR ABBY: I just finished reading the letter from "Pressured" (April 23), the wife whose husband keeps track of how often he and his wife have had sex and his determination to have sex 100 times per year. She was wondering if this is normal.

I can tell her that my former husband thought we should have sex five times a week. He kept a calendar of when we had sex that also included who initiated it. I explained to him that I was more than willing to have frequent sex, but that he also had to be an attentive, caring husband.

Our marriage counselor believed he was suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder, depression and was probably a diagnosable narcissist. Surprise, surprise! He pronounced our marriage counselor to be inept and divorced me.

"Pressured" says she has a good marriage, so I assume that means she has a caring husband. I would advise her to do her best to enthusiastically and creatively meet his needs. Most men express love and feel loved by having sex. Scorekeeping could be his ineffective attempt at communicating his need to feel loved. -- THE EX-MRS.

DEAR EX: Thank you for writing. The saying "men are from Mars, women are from Venus" aptly applies to the responses I received from my readers about that letter. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Most guys may keep track of how often they're having sex, although more likely it's how long since the last time, or maybe how many times a week. But this guy is an idiot for letting his wife know that he's tracking it, let alone that he has a goal of 100 times. Hopefully he's not procreating, just "recreating" in bed.

Abby, I thought you knew men better. "Fifty great versus 100 'so-so' times" -- are you kidding? Surely you know the saying, "Even bad sex is pretty good sex." We guys will take it any way, any how, anytime. For us, it's all good, all the time. -- DAN IN IRVING, TEXAS

DEAR ABBY: Unfortunately, my husband also likes to keep a running tab of our sexual frequency. It galls me.

I saw a movie years ago in which a couple saw the same therapist and one tells the counselor, "We never have sex! We only do it three times a week." While the other says, "We have sex all the time! We do it three times a week!"

We must consider the other person and his or her needs, whether they're emotional, sexual or physical. Emotional and physical are not necessarily the same. -- DENISE IN MICHIGAN

DEAR ABBY: For most men, sex is just a little less important than breathing and eating as essential to our existence. Men are getting fed up with being deprived. I have often considered extramarital sexual pursuits, and I feel I'd be justified in doing so. I know I'm not alone.

Men have needs, and should have a right to share intimate relations with their wives. If not, we should be given the green light to fulfill our needs elsewhere. -- JAMES IN KENTUCKY

DEAR ABBY: I had to chuckle at "Pressured." I have been married 20 years and have five children. I figure my husband and I are intimate an average of 260 times a year. Needless to say, my husband greets me with a smile every day, and our marriage is rock solid. -- KNOWS THE SECRET IN UTAH

DEAR ABBY: Coming out of an abusive relationship in the past, I made some poor decisions. I moved away from home and into pornography and prostitution. I come from a small town, and it became a big deal when it hit the Internet. Everyone in my generation back home knew what I did.

Years later, I'm back home. I have a wonderful husband and we're expecting our first child -- a girl. My husband loves and accepts me in spite of my past, and my mother has become my best friend. I love my life here. Nowhere else feels like home.

But I'm worried that my child's life could be miserable here because of my past. She will go to school with the children of people who know my history. No parent would want their child around me and -- by extension -- her. She may also learn the unsavory things I did.

I'm torn between moving away for her sake or staying. My parents are aging and have no one else to care for them. They can't follow me, but say I should do what is best for the baby. I hate the idea of deserting my parents when they need me. But I also hate that my child will be ostracized. Can you help? -- LOST IN THE SOUTH

DEAR LOST: For your child's sake, I think you should relocate. As I'm sure you have already realized, people can be cruel and they love to talk. When children overhear what is said over the back fence, they can be cruel, too, and I'd rather your daughter wasn't subjected to it. (This is not to imply that wherever you go, you might not encounter someone who recognizes you -- but the chances are less.)

You don't have to move right away. Take your time and scout out locations. Arrangements can be made for care if your parents need it. But your daughter's welfare must come first.

DEAR ABBY: When you go to the store for milk and eggs there is a "sell-by" date on the package. How long after that date is it safe to use them? -- WONDERING IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR WONDERING: According to Eatbydate.com, when it comes to milk, the length of time it lasts beyond the expiration date on the carton depends on what kind of milk it is. Lactose-free and non-fat milk last another seven to 10 days. Skim and reduced-fat milk, one week. Whole milk should last five to seven days. Of course, for this to happen, the milk must be stored properly, at a temperature at or below 40 degrees Fahrenheit.

The Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics states that eggs should be refrigerated at the time you buy them and as soon as possible upon your return home, and can be used up to three weeks after the sell-by date if they have been stored properly.

DEAR ABBY: What is the protocol for naming a baby after a deceased person? If the name you want to use is a deceased family member's name, do we ask his next of kin for approval? Do we say nothing? Is it assumed that people who wish to use someone's name when naming their child should seek permission (whether the person is living or dead)?

Obviously, some people will use the name regardless of being granted a blessing or not, but I'm wondering what is appropriate in this situation. -- PREGNANT IN ILLINOIS

DEAR PREGNANT: In the Jewish faith, it is traditional for a baby to be named for a deceased parent or grandparent -- or at least given a name with the same first initial. However, if the person who died was a child of a close relative, I can see how that could be very painful for the parents who lost their child.

The appropriate thing to do would be to first have a conversation with the surviving family member(s) to be sure it will be considered the honor it is intended to be and not open fresh wounds. If it would cause pain, perhaps the expectant parents should consider making the name of the deceased their baby's middle name instead of first name.

DEAR ABBY: During my teens, I was diagnosed with depression and institutionalized following a suicide attempt. Depression is something I live with daily. Unfortunately, my parents and siblings have a "don't ask, don't tell" policy when it comes to anything that may stir up emotions. I feel that it's detrimental to my well-being.

My doctor has suggested cutting my family out of my life. Dealing with them gives me great anxiety. My mother is a master manipulator who denies my suicide attempt ever happened, and I'm afraid she will tell my extended family members (many of whom I have relationships with) that I have "abandoned the family."

No one outside my immediate family knows about my depression or suicide attempt, and I feel I may be forced to reveal that very private part of my life in order to defend my actions. I don't know what to do. -- RELUCTANT TO REVEAL

DEAR RELUCTANT TO REVEAL: I think you should follow your doctor's advice and not be intimidated. You have an illness -- depression -- that, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, is shared by about 9 percent of our population. It is nothing to be ashamed of.

Because you're afraid of what your mother will say, explain to those relatives you feel close to what you need to do and the reasons for it. I can't guarantee that some of them won't take sides, but I'm sure not all of them will. Sadly, not all families are functional. Not all parents are good parents, and some of them are toxic.

P.S. Because your struggle with depression is ongoing, I hope you are still under the care of a psychotherapist. If you're not, please consider it.