DEAR ABBY: My best friend is getting married and asked me to be her maid of honor. She has also asked me to buy an expensive dress, host a lavish shower I'm afraid I can't afford and plan a destination bachelorette party. The cost will be exorbitant.

On top of this, she has asked me to be her "cover" when she lies to her fiance about where she is. She has admitted to me that she has cheated on him, and I think she's doing it again.

I know it's not my place to question her or tell her what to do, but this has made me hesitant to commit financially to her wedding. Should I talk to her about this? I don't want to lose my best friend, but I also don't want to put my money on the line for someone who isn't being honest. -- DRAGGING MY HEELS IN NEW YORK

DEAR DRAGGING YOUR HEELS: Do not question your friend or tell her what to do, but do convey to her that you can't function as her maid of honor because you can't afford the cost. And the next time she asks you to cover for her, tell her you no longer want to be a party to deceiving her fiance because you're having trouble looking him in the eye.

Your best friend sounds like a piece of work, and if it costs you the friendship you won't have lost much. This girl lacks both judgment and character, and you'll be better off to distance yourself. Both of you should mingle with people with whom you have more in common.

DEAR ABBY: I don't know where to start so I will just plunge in: I have five kids by five different men. I am not a terrible person. I have a job, take care of my babies and am working toward a degree. But sometimes I feel like the ultimate loser. I get judged all the time. I'm so ashamed of the choices I have made in life. Will it ever be better? -- 5 KIDS, 5 DADS IN OREGON

DEAR 5-5: You will see an improvement as soon as you stop beating yourself up over the choices you have made. No one can change the past. All we can do is learn from our mistakes and make a conscious decision not to repeat them. And as to those who judge you, they should judge not, lest they, too, be judged.

DEAR ABBY: My husband thinks we should snuggle up and sleep together even when we're sick. I think it's common courtesy to keep a respectable distance from loved ones and to clean up after yourself when you have a "bug" that is communicable. I need to stay as healthy as possible to keep up with the needs of our child, the housework and my job while my husband is sick. Your thoughts? -- MARRIED TO A MAN-CHILD WHO NEEDS A MOMMY

DEAR MARRIED TO A MAN-CHILD: Your husband may think I'm heartless, but I agree with you. While he may "need" you emotionally, his rational self should accept that with a child in the house and the demands of your job, you need to stay well and functional.

His tissues, meds and a pitcher of water should be by the bed. There should be a wastebasket for his tissues. He should wash his hands before touching anything, and you should use hand sanitizer liberally. You should sleep elsewhere. The "cuddling" can wait until he's no longer contagious.

P.S. And don't forget to sympathize.

DEAR ABBY: My 19-year-old son has been dating the daughter of one of my friends I'll call "Mona." We didn't set them up; they met at some parties. Last summer we discovered they were having sex because "Meghan" thought she was pregnant. Luckily, it turned out she wasn't. They broke up but have gotten back together recently.

When I asked Mona if she was putting Meghan on birth control, Mona said that she wouldn't because "that would be letting her know it's OK to have sex." I said, "Better safe than sorry!" and we left it at that.

I let my son use my car last weekend and found an opened box of emergency contraception on the floor. Because my son never answers his phone, I called Meghan and stressed to her that unprotected sex is irresponsible and that they aren't ready for a baby. I warned her to take precautions and get on birth control, and I helped her to make the arrangements.

Was it wrong to discuss this behind her mother's back? Should I tell Mona after promising Meghan I wouldn't say anything? What should I do? -- MOM VERSUS FRIEND

DEAR MOM: Wrong? You deserve a medal. And you should now have the conversation with your son that you should have had before the first pregnancy scare, stressing to him the importance of using condoms not only to protect himself and Meghan from an unplanned pregnancy, but also an STD if she isn't the only girl he's having sex with. Girls don't get pregnant all by themselves.

As to telling your friend Mona, who seems to have the parental insight of an ostrich where her daughter is concerned, keep your promise to Meghan and your lips sealed. Meghan needs a woman she can confide in, and your friend seems to prefer living in fantasyland rather than giving her daughter the support and guidance she needs.

DEAR ABBY: I live in Colorado. In my state marijuana is legal now. What do you think about my inviting my adult children (they are all over 21) and my aging dad to get stoned with me? I think it might stimulate conversation and motivate more family time than we spend together now. What do you think of "family night" with marijuana as a way to improve family unity? -- ORIGINAL THINKER IN DENVER

DEAR ORIGINAL THINKER: Were you stoned when you wrote this? If not, I think it's sad that your family would need pot in order to communicate or create family unity. While I applaud your desire to bring your family together, you can have a good time without inviting "Mary Jane." And that's what I'd recommend.

DEAR ABBY: May I comment about the question from "Unsure in the West" (April 6), who wanted to create scrapbooks out of all the cards and letters she received over the years? My generation (30s) is all about social media. "Unsure" mentioned that all the items she wanted to include were pre-Facebook. I am a bit old-fashioned (or maybe stubborn) so I don't do Facebook or Twitter, and I don't understand the importance of a "hashtag." I have no idea how to Skype, nor do I pay my bills online.

I think the scrapbook idea is wonderful. There is something special about having tangible items to go along with important milestones and memories. Even if the gifts themselves don't strike a chord with her friends, surely the consideration and time she puts into the scrapbooks will make her loved ones realize how important they are to her. I say, proceed with confidence. Your friends are lucky to have you. -- L.K. IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR L.K.: Like you, readers overwhelmingly support "Unsure" in her efforts to create scrapbooks of memories for her friends. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I have also saved cards, letters, wedding photos and pictures of newborns, etc., for several decades. A few years ago, I simply returned them to the people who had sent them. Nearly all of the recipients squealed with delight as they thanked me, having realized I had gifted them with "time capsules" of their lives. Only one friend was offended that I had returned her items. She said she was "appalled" that I didn't cherish them myself. The joy expressed by the others superseded the angry friend. "Unsure," return those items to the senders! -- LINDA IN INDIANA

DEAR ABBY: I did the same thing with photos. But instead of returning them to the person(s) who gave them to me, I gave them to the children who were pictured in the photos. Others I saved and presented to the now-grown child's spouse as a wedding gift. So far they have been well-received. Most people are surprised to learn that I actually kept all these photos of them or their children for so long and appreciated the effort I put into the scrapbooks. -- MEMORY KEEPER

DEAR ABBY: I am not a crafter and I'm not very sentimental. I don't enjoy what I consider clutter. As I've grown older, I have done my best to pare down and eliminate things I no longer have use for. I have embraced technology. If "Unsure" were my friend, I would appreciate it more if she scanned anything she wanted to give back to me. Either way, I would probably view the scrapbook or e-book, and then deep-six it after the viewing. It crossed my mind that perhaps "Unsure" is cleaning out, and this is her way of getting rid of her "clutter." -- MAUREEN IN FLORIDA

DEAR ABBY: Yes! Bundle and return the cards and letters with a note about what the correspondence has meant to you over the years. As a young adult, I lived all over the world and frequently wrote my friends and family about my life and what I was experiencing. Over the last few years I have received bundles from my mother, my sister and a friend -- all letters they had hung onto for 20 to 30 years. What a surprise and a joy. Reading these old cards and letters gave me a window into a world that no longer exists, and reminded me of who I was then and what my life was like. Yes, please give back the correspondence. -- MARIANNE IN CALIFORNIA