DEAR ABBY: I'm a single mother of a 1-year-old boy, Zack. His father, my ex, has shared custody, but we don't have a very good co-parenting relationship. Shortly after I gave birth, he left me to be with a woman he had met while I was pregnant, and they are still in a relationship.

She thinks it's OK to post pictures of Zack on her social media sites. I have a problem with this, not least of all that it is incredibly hurtful to see another woman pretend she is in a "mother" role with my son.

I have confronted my ex about this and although he told me he would talk to her about it, he also told me it is none of my business what happens while Zack is in his care.

Am I right to make this an issue, or do I need to move on and accept that this woman is in my son's life? -- OFFENDED IN SAN JOSE

DEAR OFFENDED: I sympathize with your feelings, but your ex is right. Unless something is happening that's dangerous to Zack's welfare, you can't control what happens when he's with his father.

I don't know how serious this new relationship is, but it appears to be a long-lasting one -- and whether you approve or not, this woman is in your son's life in the role of part-time mother. For your sake, you need to accept it because the alternative is to make yourself sick over it. And because it's hurtful, stop reading her posts.

DEAR ABBY: I married the love of my life eight years ago. He's a wonderful husband, father and provider. He has just one flaw -- his hygiene.

He works long hours and is usually exhausted when he gets home. He showers maybe once a week, and brushes his teeth less often. Sometimes he makes sexual advances, but I'm so turned off by his smell that I just can't do it.

I have tried asking him to be cleaner. I have even been upfront about what other people have said about his lack of cleanliness. I even tried making shower time "fun," but a girl can't do that every night!

I'm becoming so frustrated. I'm a clean person, and I keep hoping one day he'll adopt my habits, but it doesn't look like it's happening soon. Any advice? -- HOLDING MY NOSE IN IDAHO

DEAR HOLDING YOUR NOSE: It appears this wonderful husband, father and provider has the personal habits of a goat. If he has enough energy to make advances at the end of a long workday, then he should have enough to take a shower and brush his teeth. Unless you plan to wear a clothespin on your nose during marital relations, you should insist upon it.

DEAR ABBY: I have been invited to a high school graduation for twin girls. One of them has been our baby sitter for almost three years, and we have formed a close relationship with her. We know her sister, but do not have the same relationship with her.

We would like to give our baby sitter more money for graduation, but do not want to offend her sister. What should we do? -- CAN'T DECIDE IN OHIO

DEAR CAN'T DECIDE: When you give the girls their graduation cards, enclose a check in each for the same amount of money. Later, privately, you can give your baby sitter something extra as a token of your appreciation. That way, it will be less obvious and may avoid hurt feelings.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I both served in the military. When she returned from Egypt 19 months ago, she dropped a bomb on me, saying she didn't want to be married anymore. She said she had settled for second best all her life and that's what she had done with me. She went on to say she knows there's someone better than me out there, and she's going to find him.

All the evidence points to an affair, which she denies -- constant trips out of town, emails and phone calls. We are now living paycheck to paycheck. We have no more savings and I'm paying all the expenses when it comes to the kids. She retired a year ago and refuses to get a job worthy of her experience. The worst part is, our kids have suffered.

We have been separated ever since she got back. She says our kids aren't worth her trying to save our marriage. Our close friends and family are still shocked, but no one more than me. It has been a struggle, which almost caused me to have a breakdown. Everything I do now is to lessen the impact on our kids. What advice can you offer me? -- TRYING TO COPE IN VIRGINIA

DEAR TRYING TO COPE: Please accept my sympathy. Your marriage is over and you have to accept it.

If you haven't consulted a lawyer, you should do it NOW to figure out what your responsibility -- and HERS -- will be to the children once your divorce is final. They should be cared for by the parent who is willing and able to give them stability, and the lawyer can help you determine this. From your description of your wife, that would be you, while she searches for someone she "deserves." Personally, I hope she finds him, because the way she has treated you has been brutal.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a student in a community college. I enjoy the diversity of the students here; many are adults who are changing careers or getting the education they've always wanted.

One woman in my class has a habit of bringing her toddler with her. I understand that sitters can be unreliable and child care is expensive, but this disrupts the class -- and I know it distracts the mother, as well. She often has to get up mid-lesson when her child needs to use the restroom.

I don't want to step on toes or intrude in people's personal lives, but college is no place for an unruly toddler. How can I handle this? -- STUDENT IN NEW YORK

DEAR STUDENT: I wholeheartedly agree with you that toddlers do not belong in college lectures where they distract the students. This is something that should be discussed with whomever is conducting the class, and if that doesn't fix the problem, with the dean.

P.S. Some colleges have baby-sitting facilities on campus.

DEAR ABBY: I'm writing to support "Feeling Coerced in San Diego" (Feb. 14), who is uncomfortable attending church with her husband. I understand her feelings because I, too, am an atheist in a relationship with a religious man.

There is another option besides abstaining from church or attending only on major holidays, and that would be for "Coerced" and her husband to try a different church. One religion that embraces atheist church members is Unitarian Universalism.

UU congregations are often made up of people from different backgrounds -- Christian, Jewish, atheist and more. The focus of the sermons is on living a good life, treating other people and our planet with respect, and following one's own path to spiritual enlightenment. It's likely that "Coerced" and her husband could both feel at home in such a congregation. -- CHELSEA IN WICHITA

DEAR CHELSEA: Thank you for your suggestion -- it's one that was echoed by many other readers. I have mentioned the Unitarian Universalist denomination and its website (uua.org) before in my column. Readers' comments were enlightening:

DEAR ABBY: I, too, am in a "mixed marriage." I'm religious and my husband is an atheist. We agree to disagree on the matter. Religion (or lack of it) is a very personal thing, and however we feel, we owe each other respect for our different views.

"Coerced" is great for trying to accommodate her husband, but now that they see it didn't work, he should stop pressuring her. She can refrain from going to services, but should consider attending the church's social events. This solution worked well for us. My husband and my church friends get along well.

Of course, this depends on the nature of the church. Mine happens to be one of the more progressive. It's worth a try. -- KATHRYN IN OTTAWA, CANADA

DEAR ABBY: I knew my husband was atheist when we married. Our spiritual journeys are different, and we're not going to change each other.

We agreed I would raise our kids Catholic. I never expect him to be at church with us on Sundays, but on important sacraments (baptism, first communion, confirmation), he is there with the whole family because he realizes these events are important for his kids and me. He has become friendly with some of my clergy and fellow congregants, who accept him for the wonderful person he is.

Maybe in the future "Coerced" could attend an event like a church spaghetti dinner, something outside of services, and get to know the people her husband spends time with on Sunday. And he could spend a weekend doing a silent hiking retreat with his wife and her friends.

Respecting each other's spiritual path is a first step toward appreciating each other's differences and growing together. -- BLESSED IN OREGON

DEAR ABBY: "Coerced" is lucky to have a man who attends church and wants her to go, too. She might consider helping in the nursery. That way, she's there with him but doesn't have to listen to the message. Churches are always looking for help so parents can actually attend the service. -- LAURA IN CONNECTICUT