DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for three years and have two beautiful children. Shortly before our first child was born, my in-laws bought a new camera. They bring it along to every visit and constantly take pictures of all of us. Neither my husband nor I likes having our pictures taken. My in-laws have thousands of pictures of all of us already.

The biggest problem is that they don't have a relationship with their grandchildren because of this. They complain that the kids "don't like them." They feel they should therefore visit more often, but in reality, these visits consist of nonstop photo-snapping, and no quality time is spent with either of the children. How do I make this stop without causing problems? -- OUT OF FOCUS IN NEW YORK

DEAR OUT OF FOCUS: A diplomatic approach would be to suggest to your in-laws that they "shoot" only for a limited time when they visit -- no longer than the first 10 minutes. Explain that you realize the kids are growing and changing quickly, and you understand their desire to record all of it, but the children need a deeper kind of interaction with their grandparents in order to form a positive bond with them. Then suggest some ways they can relate to the little ones after the camera is put away.

If they balk, tell them the reason their grandchildren don't seem to like them is that children need face-to-face and eye contact, and the camera has prevented it from happening. If they're smart, they'll listen.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 43-year-old woman who has been in a relationship with a man I dated many years ago, "Charles." When we reconnected three years ago, I had a dog, "Frosty." One year into the relationship, Charles asked me to get rid of Frosty because he thinks dogs are unsanitary. I loved Frosty and kept him, but it caused all kinds of problems with my boyfriend.

When Charles and I moved in together three months ago, he insisted I get rid of Frosty and I caved. I miss my little friend so much it hurts. Memories of him are everywhere. I am able to get him back, but is it crazy that I would jeopardize my relationship because I want to keep my dog? -- IN THE DOGHOUSE

DEAR IN THE DOGHOUSE: I don't think it's crazy, and I'm sure my animal-loving readers -- who number in the millions -- would agree with me. People bond with their pets to such an extent that in the event of a natural disaster, some of them refuse to be separated from their companions.

That Charles would insist you get rid of Frosty shows extreme insensitivity for your feelings, in addition to disregard for your beloved pet in whom you had a significant emotional investment. Could Charles be jealous of the affection you have shown Frosty? Not knowing him, I can't guess. But if you are forced to choose between the two of them, you should seriously consider choosing the dog.

DEAR ABBY: Child abuse is epidemic in the United States. It occurs at every socioeconomic level, across ethnic and cultural levels, within all religions and at all levels of education. Every year, more than 3 million reports of child abuse are made in the U.S. Without intervention, about 30 percent of those abused and neglected children will later abuse their own children.

With the proper skills, all parents can raise happy, healthy children. Treatment is necessary, but our communities also need to do a better job at prevention.

April is Child Abuse Prevention Month. Please ask your readers to learn about programs and activities in their communities that support parents and promote healthy families. -- JOHN E. THORESEN, DIRECTOR, BARBARA SINATRA CHILDREN'S CENTER, RANCHO MIRAGE, CALIF.

DEAR MR. THORESEN: Thank you for your letter. Readers, the first step to curbing child abuse is recognizing it. These are the 10 most common indicators:

1. UNEXPLAINED INJURIES: Visible signs may include burns or bruises in the shape of objects. There may be unconvincing explanations for a child's injuries.

2. CHANGES IN BEHAVIOR: Abused children often appear scared, anxious, depressed, withdrawn or more aggressive.

3. RETURNING TO EARLIER BEHAVIOR: Abused children may display behaviors shown when they were younger, such as thumb-sucking, bed-wetting, fear of the dark or strangers. For some, loss of basic language or memory problems may occur.

4. FEAR OF GOING HOME: Abused children may express fear or anxiety about leaving school or going places with the abuser.

5. CHANGES IN EATING: The stress, fear and anxiety lead to changes in a child's eating behaviors, which may result in weight gain or weight loss.

6. CHANGES IN SLEEP HABITS: The child may have frequent nightmares or have difficulty falling asleep, and appear tired or fatigued.

7. CHANGES IN SCHOOL PERFORMANCE OR ATTENDANCE: Children may demonstrate difficulty concentrating in school or experience excessive absences, sometimes because of adults trying to hide the children's injuries from authorities.

8. LACK OF PERSONAL CARE OR HYGIENE: The child may appear unkempt, be consistently dirty and have severe body odor, or lack sufficient clothing for the weather.

9. RISK-TAKING BEHAVIORS: The child may engage in high-risk activities such as using drugs or alcohol, or carrying a weapon.

10. INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL BEHAVIOR: A sexually abused child may exhibit overly sexualized behavior or use explicit sexual language.

We can all support children and parents to reduce the stress that often leads to abuse and neglect. Be a friend to a parent or child you know. Volunteer your time or donate to programs that support child abuse treatment and prevention as well as those that build healthy families. Trust your instincts. Suspected abuse is enough of a reason to contact authorities.

DEAR ABBY: I have worked in a pharmacy for 30 years, and every summer it's the same story. People forget their medication and leave it at home.

Why do people not realize that their meds should be one of the FIRST things they pack? Yes, we can call their pharmacist back home to get a transfer, but if the prescription was just filled, their insurance will not go through, or they'll have to wait while we call for a vacation override.

Please, people -- remember your medications, and if you don't plan on spending a while sitting around our pharmacy waiting for us to call your hometown pharmacy, and possibly your insurance company, then don't get angry at us when it takes longer than the 15 minutes you expected.

I love my job. But I'm beginning to dread irresponsible, crabby tourists who know they need their blood pressure meds every day and expect us to drop whatever we're doing to take care of them. -- PHRUSTRATED PHARMACIST IN MONTANA

DEAR PHARMACIST: I sympathize with your "phrustration," so I'm printing your heartfelt letter, hoping it will help you to lower YOUR blood pressure. I don't think the people you describe are irresponsible as much as they may be disorganized.

The way I have solved this problem is to keep multiple copies of a printed list of items I must have when I travel. As I pack, I check them off my list -- and before I close my travel bag, I double-check to make sure nothing has been forgotten. Perhaps others will find this helpful.

DEAR ABBY: What's up with penmanship these days? A few years ago, my mother gave me some old letters written by my grandfather to my grandmother. Some of them are treasures because the written words are not only loving and endearing, but the penmanship is beautiful. The script writings are actually examples of "art" in this modern age.

I work at a bank, Abby, and many of the signatures I see every day are illegible. Is written communication becoming obsolete? With the electronic age and schools going paperless, will penmanship become unnecessary? -- MARY IN HUNTSVILLE, ALA.

DEAR MARY: Years ago, penmanship was routinely taught in the public schools, and students spent nearly an hour a day practicing how to write legibly. Today, I am told that 10 minutes is devoted to teaching students to PRINT. If the emails I receive are any indication, capitalization and punctuation are also being jettisoned. And if the electric grid ever goes down and battery power runs out, we'll have to start over with stone tablets and chisels.

DEAR ABBY: I know it's rude to ask workers how much money they make, but does that also apply to asking a student what his or her grades are? Aside from parents and teachers, I don't think it's anybody's business how I'm doing academically.

In my opinion, asking, "How are your grades?" is as rude as asking, "How much money do you make?" What do you think? -- MATT IN EUGENE, ORE.

DEAR MATT: I'm with you. How about coming back with, "I'll forgive you for asking if you'll forgive me for not answering."