DEAR ABBY: I'm in a tricky situation. My boyfriend of four years, "Ian," and I took a break from our relationship for two months because he was scared he'd miss out on the single life. We started hanging out again soon after, and everything fell into place.

We were talking recently, and he mentioned that he's planning to move across the country to San Francisco to be near his family. He made it plain he wants to live on the West Coast "forever." I am close to my family -- closer than Ian is to his.

We're both 24, and while we're not going to get engaged anytime soon, I'm not sure what to do. We love each other, but the geography is causing so many issues. Please advise. -- NEW YORK GIRL

DEAR N.Y. GIRL: It's good that you and Ian aren't planning on becoming engaged anytime soon, because you have some serious thinking to do. If you plan on having a family and want your parents to be close to their grandchildren, it would be better for you to find another boyfriend. I'm advising you and Ian to take another break -- this time for YOUR benefit -- to see which is more important to you: the man or the location.

DEAR ABBY: This "issue" with my wife may seem trivial, but it's making me crazy. I like to cook; she doesn't. When I cook it's an expression of love, and our family sits down together to enjoy the meal. We don't watch TV and we don't answer the phone. Sounds ideal, wouldn't you say?

The problem is, after I put the food on the table, my wife gets up and starts pulling other food from the fridge to microwave. Or she'll start making a salad.

These last-minute additions make me furious. She knows it, but won't stop. Either she "doesn't want the leftover to go bad" or she thinks something is "missing" from the table.

I say she should prepare these additions while I'm making dinner so everything will be on the table at the same time, or else forget it. What do you think? -- STEAMING IN THE KITCHEN IN TEXAS

DEAR STEAMING: Is the layout of your kitchen conducive to tandem cooking? If it's not, that may be why your wife goes in there after you're no longer using it. Do you tell your wife what you will be preparing for dinner and ask if there is anything else she wants included? That may prompt her to think ahead so she wouldn't have to get up and leave the table.

If the answer to my questions is yes, then there may be something going on in your relationship for which she's trying to punish you.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter goes to a preschool in a church where we are not members. Pastor "Joe" is very involved with the classes, often chatting with the parents and calling them by their first names.

I have seen him around town various times, but I'm never sure how to address him. I feel strange calling him "Pastor" since he isn't my minister. On the other hand, calling him "Joe" doesn't quite seem right either.

How should a man of the cloth be greeted on the street? -- FEELING AWKWARD IN JAMESTOWN, N.Y.

DEAR FEELING AWKWARD: I think you're asking the wrong person. Why not ask HIM how he'd like to be addressed? I remember a delightful priest in Chicago, who when meeting people would immediately say, "Call me John." I used to refer to him as Father Call-Me-John.

DEAR ABBY: I use a service dog, and I'm constantly barraged with requests to pet him. Other people who use service dogs warned me this would happen. Although the ADA does not require him to wear a vest, I bought one for him that reads, "Do Not Pet," which he wears in public. They ask me anyway!

They also ask what I use the dog for. Sometimes I'm tempted to say, "First, tell me about your medical history and then I'll tell you mine." I don't mind quietly and discreetly discussing with a store owner what my dog does, but for a stranger to walk up and expect me to share personal information is rude.

As excited as I am about how my dog has expanded my life, I do not want to spend my time answering strangers' questions or hearing about every dog they've ever owned.

Obviously, I'm still learning what it means to live with a service dog. Would you kindly share with your readers proper etiquette with service dogs and their owners? -- LIVING LARGER IN WASHINGTON STATE

DEAR LIVING LARGER: I'm happy to. But you must be realistic. If you have a service dog, you must accept that people will be curious. However, what many people fail to understand is that when a service dog is out in public, the animal is WORKING, and should not be distracted from its task -- which is ensuring the well-being of the owner.

The basics for interacting with service dogs are:

1. Always speak to the person first. Do not try to distract the dog.

2. Never touch the service dog -- or ANY dog, for that matter -- without first asking for and receiving permission.

3. Do not offer food to the animal.

4. Do not ask personal questions about the handler's disability or otherwise intrude on his or her privacy.

5. Do not be offended if the handler refuses to chat about the service dog.

DEAR ABBY: My son "John" and daughter-in-law "Bree" recently announced their second pregnancy via email, and asked that we keep the news in the immediate family for now.

I was so happy and excited that I notified my sister. She is my best friend and lives in another state. As it turns out, my sister shared the news with her daughter, who is good friends with Bree. My niece then texted congratulations to her.

At the end of the day, I received a nasty, dramatic phone call from Bree. She was furious that I had revealed her secret. My heart sank. It wasn't my intention to hurt her in any way. I apologized profusely, but now I'm afraid that this may have solidified the wedge between us because our relationship was never very close to begin with.

I realize I was wrong and apologized. What more can I do to make this the joyful occasion it should be? -- NOW WHAT? IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR NOW WHAT?: Now you pay the penalty for leaking the news, and gracefully accept that you will be relegated to the second tier when it comes to announcements from your son and daughter-in-law. Perhaps you can eventually get back in their good graces by respecting their wishes in the future.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I were discussing our sons-in-law, and young men in their 20s and 30s in general. We were wondering where the attitude of "any money I earn is mine" in a marriage or live-in situation got started.

For the first few years of my daughter and her husband "Joe's" marriage, Joe resented giving her any of the money he earned. My other daughter's husband thinks nothing of spending money on himself and his friends without consulting her.

We have seen this attitude reflected in their friends as well. They don't seem to discuss with each other how each is spending their "joint" income. There seems to be an element of selfishness, too.

My wife and I have been married 40 years and from the beginning I have always considered what each of us earned was OURS, not mine or hers (when she worked). We always discuss any significant purchases, and I have always believed it was my responsibility to support my family. I realize the current economic situation has made that difficult, but the attitude should still be there. -- WONDERING IN WASHINGTON

DEAR WONDERING: You have raised an interesting subject. There is a difference between living together and being married because of our legal system. Because people who co-habit without benefit of marriage are considered individuals in the eyes of the law, it is probably prudent to keep their financial affairs separate. However, each person should contribute to the expenses they share.

In a marriage, the situation is different: The law assumes that the man and wife are one unit. This is the mindset you adopted when you and your wife were married.

There is a tendency among young couples, not only because of the high divorce rate, but also what they have been exposed to in the media from the time they were born, to view marriage as something that might not last. There is also a sense of entitlement among many -- NOT ALL -- that makes them centered on themselves. We have become a society in which disposability has spread from material possessions to relationships.

I would LOVE to hear what my readers' -- particularly my younger readers' -- views are regarding this. Click on the link "Write to Dear Abby" at www.DearAbby.com or write to P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

DEAR ABBY: We are fortunate to have great friends and relatives who invite us to their homes for parties, celebrations, overnight stays, etc. often. The problem is, their houses are cluttered and dirty. We see spilled food in the refrigerator, showers caked with grime and years of stains on upholstery.

Money and time are not issues for these folks. If this was a hotel or restaurant, we would leave immediately. My husband and I have been unnerved by the conditions in these houses. We would like to spend time with these people and don't wish to offend. Subtle hints don't help. We try our best to enjoy their company and ignore the rest, but it can be difficult. What can we do, Abby? -- NEAT IN NEW YORK

DEAR NEAT: When you go to visit, stay in a nearby hotel or motel. If you know food will be served, fortify yourself beforehand and eat as little as possible without being rude. If you're afraid you might soil your clothing sitting on their furniture, leave anything that isn't washable at home.