DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. We recently spent a romantic night at a hotel, complete with dinner, drinks -- the whole shebang -- that he organized.

I know he was a little stressed about money because he mentioned it. He asked if I could shell out some money, which I did, and when the bill came, he asked me if I could shell out some more.

I was a little upset because I wasn't planning on spending that much. He says he is going to pay me back some of it, and now I just feel bad. I told him I didn't enjoy being put in that situation and things got awkward quickly.

Now I am the one apologizing, and I feel like I ruined our night. Am I being a brat? -- NEW YORK READER

DEAR N.Y. READER: I don't think so. If your boyfriend couldn't afford to pay for the romantic evening, he should have discussed it with you beforehand so you wouldn't be put on the spot.

DEAR ABBY: I work at an elementary school, and I help out during lunch, keeping order and making sure the kids are not too loud. Two of their moms work here. The kids are bullies and have no respect for adults whatsoever.

When I try to discipline them or give them a time out, they go to their moms and accuse me of targeting them because they are black. Then the moms come to me and complain and ask me why I'm "targeting" them.

This is causing me a lot of stress. I can't allow them to bully other kids, but at the same time I don't want trouble with the parents. How can I approach this situation without it getting more complicated? -- SCHOOLYARD MOM IN FLORIDA

DEAR SCHOOLYARD MOM: Because these women are preventing you from effectively supervising the children, which is your job, you should address this problem with the principal of the school.

DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law watches my four kids so I can work outside the home. On the off chance that she can't, she tells me my brother-in-law will watch them. While I appreciate her gesture of trying to "cover her shift," my brother-in-law is irresponsible, suffers from severe depression and smokes pot.

I don't want to be rude, but I don't like her leaving my kids with him. Is there an OK way to tell her that, or do I need to stop being "overprotective" and suck it up? -- MOMMY OF FOUR

DEAR MOMMY: It would not be rude to tell your mother-in-law that while you appreciate her watching your children, if for any reason she cannot do it, you would prefer to make your own arrangements for who will supervise them. If she asks you why, then be frank with her about your concerns -- all of which are valid. That is not being overprotective; it is being conscientious.

DEAR ABBY: "Maybe Only One in Georgia" (Jan. 7), who asked whether she should have a second child, needs to understand there are no guarantees. Her 5-year-old could end up hating her younger sibling, or adoring her. Parents create a child because they want to share their union with a new life. Each child is unique and represents a life commitment, not just 18 years of hard work.

I am the youngest of four, the "surprise" baby boy when my parents were in their 40s. I loved them and they never made me feel unwanted. I adore my older sister. We were always close despite the eight-year age difference. My two brothers are very different than I am, and we don't have much to do with one another.

"Maybe" should not produce another child to be a playmate to the one they have. It should be done only if they're financially, emotionally and spiritually willing and capable of rearing another person. If not, they should enjoy the extra time, money and energy they'll have, and perhaps give a needy dog or cat a home. -- YOUNGEST CHILD IN SAVANNAH

DEAR YOUNGEST CHILD: I told "Maybe" I couldn't decide this for her, but would open up the question to my readers. And they sure had some comments! Here are a few:

DEAR ABBY: My advice is DON'T! I have two sons, 27 and 31. They hardly know each other and have no interest in what the other is doing. It breaks my heart, as they are the only close blood relatives they have.

I didn't have the younger one so the older would have company. I wanted another baby. I was 29, but wouldn't consider it at "Maybe's" age (38). How long does she think she can run that fast? -- MITZI IN DAYTON

DEAR ABBY: Most only children I know are spoiled and used to getting their own way, largely because they haven't had to share. My husband is from a large family and they are all close, even with a 20-year age span.

We recently dealt with issues related to elderly parents, and trust me, I was so thankful to have the help of my siblings. I feel it is unfair to raise a child alone if you're able to add to the family unit. -- GRATEFUL MOM

DEAR ABBY: I am a happy only child. I was raised by kind people. I have a positive self-image, was a self-reliant kid and am a confident, productive adult.

As a parent, I had a lot to learn. My husband, one of four siblings, reassured me that the quarreling and jealousy among our three was normal. They learned to fight and stick up for themselves -- something I had to master later.

As a child, I wondered what it would be like to have a brother or sister, but my imaginary friends were good company. When my aging parents were ailing, it might have been nice to have a sibling to share that with, but my husband was ample support.

"Onlies" can be very peaceful people. Most of us prefer to cooperate rather than compete. As kids, we're the center of the universe and responsible for everything. That sense of responsibility carries over into adulthood. -- ANNE IN ILLINOIS

DEAR ABBY: Have that second child if fate wills it. Your life will be richer for it. Your daughter will appreciate having a sibling, and you will wonder how you ever imagined life without him/her.

I was 6 when my sister was born. Yes, we went to different schools and had different friends. But we shared a bedroom as we matured and had many memorable times we still talk about today. There is no age barrier as time passes, and really, that gap closes earlier than you would think. -- BIG SIS IN FLORIDA

DEAR ABBY: Many kids, such as a classmate of your child, need a second temporary home -- if only for a play date away from their own house. Open your home to these opportunities. Expose your child to those less fortunate than she. On travels, visit a school (or community), so she can see how it differs from her own circumstances. Create independence in her, but also teach her the INTERDEPENDENCE she'll need for a balanced life. -- WYOMING TEACHER

DEAR ABBY: I have been with my current boyfriend for a year and a half and I love him dearly. However, I often find myself drawn to other guys who I know are nothing but trouble. It never goes further than simple flirting, but I still feel guilty for doing it when I'm in a relationship. How do I keep myself from temptation? -- HARD TO RESIST

DEAR HARD TO RESIST: Temptation to do what? To involve yourself with a man who is nothing but trouble? A way to discourage that would be to ask yourself how you would feel if you lost your boyfriend. That would be a high price to pay for acting immaturely.

However, if you're asking how to overcome the IMPULSE, my advice is to have an honest conversation with yourself about why you feel the need. Most of the women (and men) who act this way are constantly trying to prove to themselves that they are attractive. If this could be you, then start working on your self-esteem, because if you don't, I predict you'll ruin a good relationship.

DEAR ABBY: I'm in my 50s and overweight. I work hard, eat three meals a day and am -- more or less -- healthy except for sore feet after work. I'm aware of the medical warnings. Who isn't? But I have decided to accept myself as I am, relax and be happy.

For years I have been hard on myself for not being slim. This is me in my 50s. I don't expect myself to be slim like I was in my 20s. Now I can smile, breathe easier, have a good time, and finally buy the new clothes I have put off buying until I was thinner. My new spirit is weightless and my new attitude has made my life more meaningful. Any thoughts? -- LIVING FREE AT LAST

DEAR LIVING FREE: Only this, that we all have choices to make about our health, what is important to us and how we want to live our lives. You have made yours, and at this point it appears to have been the right one for you. May it ever be thus.

DEAR ABBY: My husband has a paralyzing fear of driving over bridges. It interferes with our life together. He is otherwise healthy, but will not see a therapist for this problem.

We have been married for 27 years. I am 63 and he is 67. I am very sad that our life is so limited. Any advice? -- LANDLOCKED IN VIRGINIA

DEAR LANDLOCKED: It would be interesting to know how your husband developed this phobia. But because he refuses to do anything about it and you feel restricted, consider traveling with another companion.