DEAR ABBY: My daughter is being married soon, and I need some guidance about inviting my aunt and uncle to the wedding. They live about 30 miles from us. We moved to this area four years ago, and we've had them over for dinner once and invited them another time. They declined because they were going to be out of town.
Abby, they didn't reciprocate, and in fact, didn't even invite us to their daughter's wedding, which hurt us very much. I had always considered myself close to these relatives before we moved here, so their treatment of my family and me has been painful.
My mother is telling me to turn the other cheek despite everything and invite them to my daughter's wedding. My daughter doesn't want them to attend and neither does my husband, but Mom is emphatic about inviting them "because they're family."
I would appreciate your opinion on this, Abby, because I'm between a rock and a hard place, and my emotions are pulling me apart. -- BETWIXT AND BETWEEN
DEAR BETWIXT: The bride's wishes should prevail. Her happiness on her wedding day is more important than the feelings of relatives who don't bother with you, her and your family. I have always said that one should never invite guests to a wedding hoping they won't show up, because they usually do.