DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Caleb," and I have been dating for three years. I'm sure he'll propose within the next few months. I'm having a problem with this because Caleb's best friend, "A.J.," will be proposing to his girlfriend in the next month. They should be able to enjoy their time and let all their friends know.
Caleb has always followed A.J.'s lead. When A.J. buys his girlfriend jewelry, I get jewelry. It makes me feel like an afterthought and that the gifts are not sincere.
If Caleb does propose close to the time that A.J. does, I'm going to say no. I don't want a copycat engagement so my boyfriend can keep up with his best friend. Please advise. -- COMING IN SECOND IN NEW YORK
DEAR COMING IN SECOND: You appear to be frustrated because your boyfriend has a recessive personality and is a follower. It is unlikely that he is going to change. Frankly, Caleb doesn't appear to be mature enough to be making decisions with lifelong consequences. You might be much happier with someone who is his own man.