DEAR ABBY: I thought I was a healthy 40-year-old until I was diagnosed with high blood pressure. My doctor began treating it as a stand-alone condition, without considering that high blood pressure is a major risk factor for kidney disease.

At first, I wasn't even tested for kidney disease. But eventually, he gave me a urine test, and it was discovered that I had protein in my urine -- one of the earliest signs of kidney damage. Apparently, my high blood pressure had damaged my kidneys.

Healthy kidneys filter out wastes and toxins, but my kidneys' ability to do so began to decrease at an alarming rate. I continued to manage my blood pressure with medication and decided to make a few lifestyle changes, as well, that helped me avoid the progression of kidney disease to kidney failure.

I limited my salt intake, started eating more fruits, vegetables and whole grains, decreased the amount of meat I was eating and began swimming every day. I began to feel better, and when I went to the doctor, it turned out my kidney function had stabilized.

Please tell your readers that if they have high blood pressure they should be proactive and ask their doctor to check their kidneys. Early detection and lifestyle change can make a major impact on your health, as I have learned. -- DUANE SUNWOLD, SPOKANE, WASH.

DEAR DUANE: It is generous of you to share your medical history in an effort to caution my readers. The National Kidney Foundation urges everyone to learn about these vital organs and whether they might be at risk.

The three major risk factors for kidney disease are: high blood pressure, diabetes and a family history of kidney failure. People who have these risk factors should ask their doctor to check their kidney function with a simple blood and urine test.

Readers, March is National Kidney Month, and March 13 is World Kidney Day. If you are at risk, schedule an appointment with your doctor. For anyone who needs more information, the National Kidney Foundation's website is kidney.org.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a member of the clergy who enjoys studying for my ministry and doctoral work at a local coffee shop. Three men who go there every day have found out that I'm a minister, and they each want to talk with me while I'm there. Although all three are members of the same religion, none of them is affiliated with a church.

I have invited them to visit my worship services, as well as call the office and set up an appointment with me. I have also tried to diplomatically explain that I go to the coffee shop to study. One of them ignores it, another appears hurt and the third one gets offended. When they're not around, I am productive. When they show up, they want me to be their chaplain.

Because of where I live, finding another coffee shop is not a viable option. How can I set a boundary with them and still do my studying there? Thank you. -- REVEREND KEN IN NEW YORK

DEAR REVEREND: Do it the same way doctors or lawyers do with people who approach them for "free" advice outside the office. As soon as you are approached, say firmly, "I'm studying right now. If you want to talk, please call my office and I'll schedule an appointment with you. Right now I'm busy." And then refuse to be intimidated by their reaction. Unless you draw the line, they'll suck you dry.

DEAR ABBY: My son is almost 3. He is the light of my life. I love him more than I can describe, but sometimes I can't handle his energy. We carefully monitor how much sugar he eats and we are sure his diet is not what's causing the problem. Mostly I think he is just a rowdy little boy.

The problem is, we can't take him out without dreading that he will act up. His refusal to listen to our requests -- or listen to us when we speak to him at all -- has put a strain on our marriage and we both feel like "failure" parents.

What are some things we can do to help our son channel his energy in a positive way, while getting some relief from his nonstop go-go attitude? -- NEEDS RELIEF IN KANSAS

DEAR NEEDS RELIEF: This may be a phase your son is going through; however, it would be a good idea to discuss this with his pediatrician to make sure. While little children can be human "Energizer bunnies," I am concerned that you say the boy doesn't listen when you talk to him. Tell the doctor and ask if a hearing check is in order.

As to your son's acting up when you take him out -- he should be told the rules and the penalties for not following them before you leave the house. If he doesn't obey the rules, it is important that you follow through, whether that means he will be taken outside for a talk or taken home. Remember, consistency is the key. That's the way children learn.

If you are older parents and not active, consider enrolling the boy in sports activities, such as swimming or kiddie gym. I am told there are even karate classes for children your son's age.

I read a book recently that could be helpful to you and your spouse. The title is "Raising Children That Other People Like to Be Around" by Richard Greenberg. It was written last year (2013) and published by New Generation Publishing. The price is $14, and the advice the author offers is worth every penny.

DEAR ABBY: Twenty years ago I fell in love, but never told the man how I felt. We spent a lot of time together back then, but I was always afraid to confess my feelings because we were both married to other people. Time went by and we went our separate ways, but I have thought about him many times. A month ago I looked him up on Facebook, and we have reconnected.

Should I tell him how I feel about him? I'm afraid he may not feel the same way. My question is, should you always tell people how you feel, even if it may hurt someone else -- like his wife and my husband? -- IN A QUANDARY IN SAN ANTONIO

DEAR IN A QUANDARY: My answer is NO. If this man is attracted to you or might like a fling, it could spark an affair in which two innocent people would be devastated. And if the feelings AREN'T mutual, you will look like a home-wrecking fool, so keep it to yourself and back off.

DEAR ABBY: My husband thinks it is fine to use his cellphone while he is in the bathroom, no matter who is on the other end. The noises must be obvious to anyone he's talking to because he makes no effort to be quiet about his "business," including flushing the toilet.

He won't listen to me about how unacceptable this is. When I mention anything about it, he accuses me of being "sensitive" and "uptight." Maybe he'll listen to you and any of your readers who care to respond. Any comments? -- CRINGING IN DALLAS

DEAR CRINGING: Clearly your husband enjoys what he's doing. If the people he's talking to don't mind -- and apparently they don't or they'd say, "I'll talk to ya later!" -- you should butt out.

DEAR ABBY: What can I do about a child I see in an automobile who is hanging out the window when she passes my house? The child is around 4 years old.

Today when I saw the little girl, the only parts of her in the car were her lower legs and feet. Her mother, father and grandmother allow her to do this. It scares me because when I was a child, I fell out of a moving car, and I still have scars on my arms because of it.

I am not close to these neighbors, so can you help me with some advice? -- SCARED FOR HER IN FLORIDA

DEAR SCARED FOR HER: Seat belt laws have been enacted to protect children from this kind of ignorance or negligence. Children (and adults) who fall from moving vehicles can die of their injuries, or be crippled for life.

You should report your concerns about this to the police to ensure the little girl's safety. The next time you see her hanging out the car window, immediately call 911. The dispatcher will determine which agency should be notified.

DEAR ABBY: My ex-wife, "Kristy," and I have been divorced for five years and she has since remarried. We have a 15-year-old daughter, "Taryn."

When it's Kristy's birthday, Mother's Day, etc., Taryn looks to me to help out with gifts for her mother. I have asked my daughter if she talks to her stepfather about this, and she says no.

I feel it isn't my duty to do this. It should be the current husband who is assigned this task. I want Taryn to be happy giving her mother a gift, but I am not comfortable with this. Am I thinking right? If so, what should I say to my daughter? -- UNCERTAIN IN KENTUCKY

DEAR UNCERTAIN: Explain this to your daughter just as you have written it to me. Taryn isn't a little girl. I presume she has chores to do and earns an allowance. If she wants to give her mother a gift or a card, she should pay for it. But if she wants to spend more money for it than she has, she should ask her stepdad to chip in.

DEAR ABBY: My ex-wife, "Kristy," and I have been divorced for five years and she has since remarried. We have a 15-year-old daughter, "Taryn."

When it's Kristy's birthday, Mother's Day, etc., Taryn looks to me to help out with gifts for her mother. I have asked my daughter if she talks to her stepfather about this, and she says no.

I feel it isn't my duty to do this. It should be the current husband who is assigned this task. I want Taryn to be happy giving her mother a gift, but I am not comfortable with this. Am I thinking right? If so, what should I say to my daughter? -- UNCERTAIN IN KENTUCKY

DEAR UNCERTAIN: Explain this to your daughter just as you have written it to me. Taryn isn't a little girl. I presume she has chores to do and earns an allowance. If she wants to give her mother a gift or a card, she should pay for it. But if she wants to spend more money for it than she has, she should ask her stepdad to chip in.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 15-year-old girl. I find it very hard to be a teenager where I live. It seems most of my friends have boyfriends, but most of my friends have gone very far with their boyfriends. I'm too scared to. I don't feel ready for something like that.

I kind of want a boyfriend, but it's hard to find one because most guys want to go too far. I don't want to talk about this kind of stuff with my mom. I hope you get the chance to answer. -- TEEN OUT WEST

DEAR TEEN: I'm sorry you can't discuss this with your mother because if you did, she could share her experience with you, and that's a valuable asset to have.

I have always advised that when people start dating, they do it in groups, which takes away a lot of the pressure of feeling you have to do anything you don't want to do. If that ever happens to you, you have the right to say "no," "stop!" "I'm not ready for that," etc. Some girls are reluctant to say it loudly and clearly, which is a big mistake. Most men understand that no means no -- but if a girl doesn't state it clearly, they think it's OK to continue. If you follow this advice, your problems will be greatly minimized.